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Old 12-19-2012, 12:27 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,502 posts, read 49,494,600 times
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Just realized we have not heard from a classroom parent about sending in money for a teachers gift for Christmas. This makes me sad. Don't know if there is no parent or if they just dropped the ball. our daughters teach has been especially wonderful and is helping us get an IEP for her. I know he is married with 2 kids of his own so I'm sure he would appreciate knowing somebody thinks he is special. would a check included in a Christmas Card be inappropriate? I was thinking about $40 to a special restaurant or Target or specialty cooking and food shop in our community. I would prefer something to a locally owned establishment really. What should I do?
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Old 12-19-2012, 12:37 PM
 
1,475 posts, read 2,412,039 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
What should I do?
Nothing, it's inappropiate to give gifts to teachers through the school. If you know that someone can use monetary enrichment then do it outside school interaction. In other words it's not a job related issue. It's a community related issue.
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Old 12-19-2012, 12:40 PM
 
16,833 posts, read 16,038,568 times
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As a teacher I prefer gifts be something I can use to buy stuff for my class/students.
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Old 12-19-2012, 12:45 PM
 
2,540 posts, read 4,934,475 times
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Everywhere I have taught, we have not been allowed to accept gifts unless it's home made baked goods.

Last edited by cleasach; 12-19-2012 at 12:47 PM.. Reason: clarification
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Old 12-19-2012, 12:48 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,418 posts, read 21,757,621 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rich_CD View Post
Nothing, it's inappropiate to give gifts to teachers through the school. If you know that someone can use monetary enrichment then do it outside school interaction. In other words it's not a job related issue. It's a community related issue.
What?!

The poster isn't talking about a bribe! They mean a holiday gift to show how much they appreciated the teacher.

Unfortunitely, as a special education teacher many of my students had parents who were not very "socially aware" so I received very few holiday or end of the year gifts. I remember twinges of jealousy when I would walk past the kindergarten room next door and see her desk filled with so many holiday gifts that she had to put some on the nearby table.

However, $40 does seem a little high (unless that is common in your area) and I would not mention "helping with getting an IEP" as that may be deemed inappropriate if administration found out.

I personally have received $25 gift cards to local restaurants or to a book store or teacher supply store. Homemade cookies and treats are always welcome. One parent gave me a "movie night" box one year. She used a large popcorn bucket (I think that she got it from a movie theater) and added a Blockbuster video gift card, several "movie theater" size boxes of candy and several bags of microwave popcorn. It was really thoughtful. Most school districts, at least in my area, do not have official policies about gifts. Ask other parents in your school if you want to know for sure. They may have policies prohibiting teachers receiving cash (for example for after school tutoring).

Several parents wrote letters to my principal and/or director of special education listing all the extra things that I did for their child and how happy they were with their child's wonderful progress. A special thank you note from a parent, especially one sent to the boss, can be the best gift that a teacher can receive. BTW Please send a copy of the letter to the teacher. I personally know of two occasions where a principal received something like that and said it was their property and never even showed it to the teacher.

Last edited by germaine2626; 12-19-2012 at 01:15 PM..
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Old 12-19-2012, 01:03 PM
 
7,891 posts, read 10,740,598 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
Just realized we have not heard from a classroom parent about sending in money for a teachers gift for Christmas. This makes me sad. Don't know if there is no parent or if they just dropped the ball. our daughters teach has been especially wonderful and is helping us get an IEP for her. I know he is married with 2 kids of his own so I'm sure he would appreciate knowing somebody thinks he is special. would a check included in a Christmas Card be inappropriate? I was thinking about $40 to a special restaurant or Target or specialty cooking and food shop in our community. I would prefer something to a locally owned establishment really. What should I do?
I do not know the answer to your question - but a $40 check from one parent seems kind of high to me. Do you normally give that much when you contribute to a group gift? I think most people tend to contribute around $10/$15 dollars towards group gifts....

I would probably take the amount that you would usually contribute to a group gift and give the teacher a gift card of some sort. Coffee cards (to Starbuck's, etc.) are generally good because the teacher can choose to keep it for his/her own personal use, maybe treat a couple of special assistants to a latte, or a group of teachers can pool their cards and buy a big container of special coffee to share in the staff room. I suppose they can even do a swap of gift cards if they want to...

I agree that they do deserve something....
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Old 12-19-2012, 01:03 PM
 
1,475 posts, read 2,412,039 times
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"The poster isn't talking about a bribe!"

Wow! That was a big leap.

"They mean a holiday gift to show how much they appreciated the teacher."

Yes, I know. But money should not be given to teachers in a school setting. If someone feels a teacher *should* receive money. It should be done outside the school setting. A child could make something at the school to give to the teacher, but not give money.

"I remember twinges of jealousy when I would walk past the kindergarten room next door and see her desk so filled with gifts that she had to put some on the nearby table."

This is an indication of what I mentioned about teachers taking on the behavior of their students. You shouldn't feel jealous about that. Maybe you should request a bit of time away to get your "teach on"! You are there to perform a job. Filling children's minds with great things that they can use in the future. Not to compare yourself to other teachers.

Apply this to an educational setting and see if you can come up with something that would benefit the student as well as the teacher. Maybe a gift to the teacher could be requesting a student do additional work or grading the teacher on their performance.

Last edited by toobusytoday; 12-19-2012 at 06:11 PM.. Reason: removed comment
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Old 12-19-2012, 01:09 PM
 
7,891 posts, read 10,740,598 times
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If there is a "no gift" rule in place at the school, I wouldn't break that rule of course by giving a gift...
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Old 12-19-2012, 01:30 PM
 
32,524 posts, read 34,105,457 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
Just realized we have not heard from a classroom parent about sending in money for a teachers gift for Christmas. This makes me sad. Don't know if there is no parent or if they just dropped the ball. our daughters teach has been especially wonderful and is helping us get an IEP for her. I know he is married with 2 kids of his own so I'm sure he would appreciate knowing somebody thinks he is special. would a check included in a Christmas Card be inappropriate? I was thinking about $40 to a special restaurant or Target or specialty cooking and food shop in our community. I would prefer something to a locally owned establishment really. What should I do?
I think it's a nice thing to do. (I don't get real hung up on what the "standard" is.) If you can afford $40 I'd make it a Target card because he could get class supplies there. I'd also write him a note saying how much he was appreciated. If we've reached the point where showing our appreciation of someone with a gift is seen as a bribe or kissing up or just not the thing to do..... we've got all kinds of problems.

I say go for it. And have the girls sign the card as well

(I also think now, more than ever, we need to show special teachers how much they are appreciated. They've gone through the tragedy at Sandy Hook with the rest of us. I vote for spreading a little kindness. This year especially.)
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Old 12-19-2012, 01:31 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,418 posts, read 21,757,621 times
Reputation: 50584
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rich_CD View Post
"The poster isn't talking about a bribe!"

Wow! That was a big leap. Maybe you're ADHD? Can you show your work? lol

"They mean a holiday gift to show how much they appreciated the teacher."

Yes, I know. But money should not be given to teachers in a school setting. If someone feels a teacher *should* receive money. It should be done outside the school setting. A child could make something at the school to give to the teacher, but not give money.

"I remember twinges of jealousy when I would walk past the kindergarten room next door and see her desk so filled with gifts that she had to put some on the nearby table."

This is an indication of what I mentioned about teachers taking on the behavior of their students. You shouldn't feel jealous about that. Maybe you should request a bit of time away to get your "teach on"! You are there to perform a job. Filling children's minds with great things that they can use in the future. Not to compare yourself to other teachers.

Apply this to an educational setting and see if you can come up with something that would benefit the student as well as the teacher. Maybe a gift to the teacher could be requesting a student do additional work or grading the teacher on their performance.
In the school district where I used to work almost every parent in the class gave an individual gift to the classroom teacher in the primary grades.

Just to clarify, any human being may experience "twinges of jealousy" when the person next door gets 25 gifts from 25 people and for the third year in a row you didn't even get one holiday card. I'm not saying that I wasn't happy for her or that I was even upset just perhaps a little annoyed. It wasn't that big a deal and I probably shouldn't have even mentioned it. Sorry, I didn't intent to get anyone started on "teacher bashing" and I won't respond again to this thread.

BTW I taught early childhood special education (3 and 4 year olds) so I was their classroom teacher as well as their special eduction teacher.
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