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I am sorry to suggest it but in todays society most places have a zero tolerance policy with regards to bullying. I am not for or against a zero tolerance policy. It just seems that most parents dont care if their child is a bully, they will ignore the letters you have sent home, ignore phone calls, ect. If you suspend the child who is being a bully that will get the parents attention to the problem.
I know it sucks but parents need to actually parent at home, in this case it seems that this is not happening.
Long-term, that won't work.
Especially if the kids are only in 3rd grade, that isn't the procedure to take.
I would suggest the school hiring someone or making an intern position to just sort of keep track of all their gossip and such. That way, it will be easier to help the victims avoid the bullies and make their own friends.
It sounds like she has exhausted a lot of options, but... all of these options focus on the negative except the class discussions (maybe). What does she do for the students who are not bullying?
Is there a school wide anti-bullying program?
Can she incorporate an anti-bullying approach into her reading program?
Unless the teachers actually model good behavior, those programs are a total waste of time.
In fact, they usually lead to more bullying over time, after a brief decline, because the kids usually mock the program itself for a few days, but then turn their attention back towards actually bullying.
Especially if the kids are only in 3rd grade, that isn't the procedure to take.
I would suggest the school hiring someone or making an intern position to just sort of keep track of all their gossip and such. That way, it will be easier to help the victims avoid the bullies and make their own friends.
Most schools are cutting teaching positions because of budget shortfalls and you want to hire someone to keep up with gossip? Seriously? And you want to teach the victims that it is their responsibility to avoid bullies rather than letting the bullies, and their parents, know bullying will not be tolerated? If a bully has been talked to, if other milder forms if punishment have been tried, and talking to the bully's parents hasn't worked, suspension is the proper course of action. If mom or dad have to take a day off work every time the kid does it, they'll be more motivated to help the child stop.
Most schools are cutting teaching positions because of budget shortfalls and you want to hire someone to keep up with gossip? Seriously? And you want to teach the victims that it is their responsibility to avoid bullies rather than letting the bullies, and their parents, know bullying will not be tolerated? If a bully has been talked to, if other milder forms if punishment have been tried, and talking to the bully's parents hasn't worked, suspension is the proper course of action. If mom or dad have to take aday off work every time the kid does it, they'll be more motivated to help the childstop.
Most schools are cutting teaching positions because of budget shortfalls and you want to hire someone to keep up with gossip? Seriously? And you want to teach the victims that it is their responsibility to avoid bullies rather than letting the bullies, and their parents, know bullying will not be tolerated? If a bully has been talked to, if other milder forms if punishment have been tried, and talking to the bully's parents hasn't worked, suspension is the proper course of action. If mom or dad have to take a day off work every time the kid does it, they'll be more motivated to help the child stop.
I mean like not a huge position. Like maybe just make it an unpaid internship as a precursor to getting a teaching assistant's position.
At the very least, if the experimental position yields no value, at least the school finds out if the candidate can complete tasks and be on time.
And I mean oftentimes, the girl isn't even aware who is tormenting her, so she has no idea how to stop it.
That way, she can at least be informed about how to improve her situation.
My point is you can't let them know bullying will not be tolerated.
If that were enforceable, don't you think schools would have figured it out by now?
There is lots of bullying that happens every day that isn't even known at the adult level. That's what the intern position could address. Not all of it could be stopped. If the intern is to have any authority to modify behavior, they will avoid even the intern in some cases, but I bet 90% of it could be curtailed that way.
Kids misbehave for a reason. Your mom should try to find the reason why "C" is so mischievous. As far as the group of misbehaving kids goes, I have no idea. Call home? Sometimes teachers have to be b*tchy.
If I had a child who was being bullied, one of the first people I'm questioning is the teacher. Why? Because she's with my child 7 hours a day, 5 days a week. I've said this a million times, teachers ALWAYS know who the bullies are and who the victims are. It needs to be taken seriously! Chances are that 10 years from now one of these kids will have a criminal record and/or be a parent.
There was an incident when a group girls kept picking on my brother, my mother went to the teacher and firmly stated, "If my son does anything to harm himself because of what these girls are doing to him, I can guarantee that you will be splitting the medical bills and/or funeral expenses with the guidance counselor and principal.
Is there anyway that she can leave these group of students in the hallway? At the beginning of the day, just give them each a folder of their work and tell them it's due at the end of the day.
Kids misbehave for a reason. Your mom should try to find the reason why "C" is so mischievous. As far as the group of misbehaving kids goes, I have no idea. Call home? Sometimes teachers have to be b*tchy.
If I had a child who was being bullied, one of the first people I'm questioning is the teacher. Why? Because she's with my child 7 hours a day, 5 days a week. I've said this a million times, teachers ALWAYS know who the bullies are and who the victims are. It needs to be taken seriously! Chances are that 10 years from now one of these kids will have a criminal record and/or be a parent.
There was an incident when a group girls kept picking on my brother, my mother went to the teacher and firmly stated, "If my son does anything to harm himself because of what these girls are doing to him, I can guarantee that you will be splitting the medical bills and/or funeral expenses with the guidance counselor and principal.
Is there anyway that she can leave these group of students in the hallway? At the beginning of the day, just give them each a folder of their work and tell them it's due at the end of the day.
That's ridiculous.
If your son does something to harm yourself, HE should be to blame.
Kids misbehave for a reason. Your mom should try to find the reason why "C" is so mischievous. As far as the group of misbehaving kids goes, I have no idea. Call home? Sometimes teachers have to be b*tchy.
If I had a child who was being bullied, one of the first people I'm questioning is the teacher. Why? Because she's with my child 7 hours a day, 5 days a week. I've said this a million times, teachers ALWAYS know who the bullies are and who the victims are. It needs to be taken seriously! Chances are that 10 years from now one of these kids will have a criminal record and/or be a parent.
There was an incident when a group girls kept picking on my brother, my mother went to the teacher and firmly stated, "If my son does anything to harm himself because of what these girls are doing to him, I can guarantee that you will be splitting the medical bills and/or funeral expenses with the guidance counselor and principal.
Is there anyway that she can leave these group of students in the hallway? At the beginning of the day, just give them each a folder of their work and tell them it's due at the end of the day.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beat_the_Streak_MLB
That's ridiculous.
If your son does something to harm yourself, HE should be to blame.
I think what the poster meant was that the teacher, guidance counselor and principal were aware of the bullying and were not doing anything to try to stop it. The mom was just emphasizing the potential seriousness of the situation.
Haven't you been keeping up with the news? Just in the last few weeks there have been at least two girls that were raped, publically harassed (bullied) by their attackers and other school classmates and the problems were totally ignored by the schools as well as by the police. Sadly, in two of the cases the boys were finally arrested and charged with a crime only after it hit the news about the victim taking their own life.
Are those girls "to blame" for their own deaths? Shouldn't all of the adults (school officials & police) who ignored their repeated requests for help have some blame as well as the rapists?
I think what the poster meant was that the teacher, guidance counselor and principal were aware of the bullying and were not doing anything to try to stop it. The mom was just emphasizing the potential seriousness of the situation.
Haven't you been keeping up with the news? Just in the last few weeks there have been at least two girls that were raped, publically harassed (bullied) by their attackers and other school classmates and the problems were totally ignored by the schools as well as by the police. Sadly, in two of the cases the boys were finally arrested and charged with a crime only after it hit the news about the victim taking their own life.
Are those girls "to blame" for their own deaths? Shouldn't all of the adults (school officials & police) who ignored their repeated requests for help have some blame as well as the rapists?
The boys should have originally been charged with rape, but yes, the girls are to blame for their own deaths.
The boys should have originally been charged with rape, but yes, the girls are to blame for their own deaths.
They freely chose the action.
Having known the horror of a teenage suicide (best friend of my daughter) and the devastations that resulted from that irrational act I disagree with you.
Children/teens whose brains are not fully matured/formed and/or are seriously depressed (because of relentless bullying or for whatever reason) are not able to "freely chose the action." Add the impulsive nature and limited ability to understand consequences of their actions children/teens are not able to make rational, informed choices regarding life and death. That is why parents, teachers and other responsible adults need to be involved.
However, I suspect that nothing that I say (medical studies, documentation, etc) will dissuade you from your point of view.
I just pray that it does not happen to your child, friend or relative.
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