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Yes, actually I do have a background and education in psychology and in learning. I use the research and knowledge from the fields daily in my work. I was going to respond to this yesterday, but chose not to do so as you have your mind made up.
The nature versus nurture argument is decades old. Most academics admit that things like IQ and physical skill are a combination of nature and nurture. One might be born with a propensity for physical or intellectual skill, but those skills need to be developed, and I believe those born without a propensity for a particular skill can never develop it to the point of a prodigy (the word YOU chose btw).
For example, one of my children was a swimmer. She practiced with a big college team on a daily basis one spring and summer. She did the same practices as the college swimmers-10,000-15,000 yards a day. She became faster and very good, but she never became the fastest swimmer on her high school team. She didn't have the body type (nature) for that. She pushed her natural ability as far as it would take her though. In contrast, one of her teammates was "lazy" in practices and yet this young woman was one of the fastest in the pool.
Another example using this same child: I read to her from the time she was a week old. I didn't exclusively read baby books, but often read children's classics written for older children. She memorized entire picture books by the time she was two or so and could go through them as if she was reading them. Those that didn't know her assumed she was reading them aloud. This same child did not really start reading until midway through first grade. It was concerning for me at the time until I realized her brain (nature) was just not ready yet. Literally she went from barely reading to reading at an advanced level within a month. That was when the "nurture" paid off. This same child ended up graduating from college with above a 3.9 GPA.
All a parent can do is help a child reach their full potential (nurture), but they cannot make them into something they are not (nature). I learned a long time ago to love and appreciate my kids for the gifts and talents they have, not to push them to be what they are not. I've seen this happen. The kids end up resenting the parents, dropping out of whatever the parents pushed them into, or worse in some cases. Your baby is young. Take time to get to know her or him for who they are and love her/him for that. That will be the best gift you can give your child.
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Originally Posted by hml1976
Here are my thoughts. While I'm sure yes, you can help your child to learn I don't believe you can create a prodigy out of any child.
We worked a ton with my now 9yr old daughter because she loved it and she was our first. My mom is a reading specialist so i had some guidance. She did read and count very early and early on everyone seemed to think she was super smart but really it was just from us working with her and eventually it catches up. She still reads above grade level, but otherwise she is an average and lovely kid. She has a talent for art that we did not teach her in any way.
My son was so hyper we hardly ever worked with him, he was too difficult to catch He read about the same time as our daughter with zero instruction from us and quickly jumped grade levels in reading without any teaching. He learned math on his own even faster, again with little to no instruction.
My point is that if we spent all day drilling our daughter on math concepts, yes, she would learn them but she wouldn't get the larger reasoning behind them because she isn't made that way. So true academic brilliance is out of reach. For example, I spent this morning going over (thank you Wikipedia) how satellites work with my son, he grasped it and had excellent questions, my daughter glazed over and didn't get it. You can't teach that natural understanding or curiosity.
I feel like I'm short changing my daughter in this post so I just want to add that she is fabulous in many ways and a much easier child than our son
I must be on her ignore list. That is because I posted that there was a 6 year old in my engineering calculus class, and she must have gotten annoyed by that.
I think that learning is important. Perhaps the OP can learn tolerance and patience, and a willingness to hear the opinions of others.
I must be on her ignore list. That is because I posted that there was a 6 year old in my engineering calculus class, and she must have gotten annoyed by that.
I think that learning is important. Perhaps the OP can learn tolerance and patience, and a willingness to hear the opinions of others.
I meant to ask more about the 6 year-old? I have a friend whose sister was one of those kids. She was sent to a private school for the gifted in Switzerland when she was very young, she attended college extremely young too. I have never met a more anxious, unhappy child in my life. She was constantly at the doctor for anxiety related conditions. While I think it's criminal to hold these types of kids back, I think the pressure is sometimes unbearable for them. Last I heard this kid had crashed and burned. Was living with her parents, not doing much of anything besides admiring her multiple degrees. Very sad.
I meant to ask more about the 6 year-old? I have a friend whose sister was one of those kids. She was sent to a private school for the gifted in Switzerland when she was very young, she attended college extremely young too. I have never met a more anxious, unhappy child in my life. She was constantly at the doctor for anxiety related conditions. While I think it's criminal to hold these types of kids back, I think the pressure is sometimes unbearable for them. Last I heard this kid had crashed and burned. Was living with her parents, not doing much of anything besides admiring her multiple degrees. Very sad.
Yes, the girl in our town that was a prodigy committed suicide in her 20s. Many many extraordinarily gifted children have emotional and behavior problems.
Our son has a high but not crazy IQ of 140. He's hyper, impulsive, socially awkward, has a hard time playing with others, gets into trouble at school, and would rather build with Legos on his own than have a friend over. He is frankly, a lovable sensitive little guy but very difficult to parent. His psychiatrist says that once you're over 130 or so IQ more often than not there are quirks and the higher you get the more there are.
Average is lovely, why all of these parents want a gifted kid is beyond me.
The story of the 6 year old in my calculus class is very bizarre. Her parents were very poor, and many people felt that they thought their 6 year old child progidy was a meal ticket for them.
But along the way, they ran into a beneficator who lived in the east coast became obsessed with the child progidy and decided that it was his job to run her life. When the girls mom refused and blocked access to her daughter, he came over to hear house (west coast) and shot the mother five times. The mom survived, but certianly there were long term consequences besides the image of your mother being shot burned into your skull. I haven't seen that she has done anything newsworthy in the last couple years.
Personally, I'd rather my child not be a progidy if it results in weirdos coming over and shooting me to get access to my kids.
The story of the 6 year old in my calculus class is very bizarre. Her parents were very poor, and many people felt that they thought their 6 year old child progidy was a meal ticket for them.
But along the way, they ran into a beneficator who lived in the east coast became obsessed with the child progidy and decided that it was his job to run her life. When the girls mom refused and blocked access to her daughter, he came over to hear house (west coast) and shot the mother five times. The mom survived, but certianly there were long term consequences besides the image of your mother being shot burned into your skull. I haven't seen that she has done anything newsworthy in the last couple years.
Personally, I'd rather my child not be a progidy if it results in weirdos coming over and shooting me to get access to my kids.
Thanks to the few of you who actually tried to talk about the topic. I did not expect such vitriol. That's an interesting thing to me. Perhaps many people feel threatened? Being smart is not a detriment as some on here have suggested. Children will not hate you for taking the time to work with them. My children love me. I'm not some loon like the moms from one of those beauty pageant reality shows who have some unrealistic expectation of perfection.
I do push my children somewhat, I don't apologize for it. I'm not simply going to send them to school and let the teachers do all the work.
I'm not going to criticize the way you raise your kids.
There exist many theories and opinions on early learning. Many products are available such as the brillbaby.com products to which I posted a link earlier in this thread.
There certainly is a great deal of science behind it. I thought perhaps some of the parents here were using one method or another. I brought up physical attributes because I've done peer reviewed research in the field of motor learning, albeit with adults not babies.
Yes I know many kids excel without using any learning methods.
You should know that many kids excel using them though. Many of our top universities are filled with highly intelligent kids who had parent that worked with them starting at an early age. It's hardly a radical approach and us parents who partake in these methods are not nazi like loons trying to engineer humanity
.
Perhaps many of you all read a little to much into what I was saying and jumped to conclusions?
Anyhow, I take some of the blame, perhaps I just poorly communicated. I still can not believe that parents would be so against the idea of pushing your kids to excel. Oh well.
Here would be a scholarly article written about the subject. It's just an opinion. Don't let it upset you.
I think one person here feels threatened, and that is the OP. She feels threatened when we don't believe that you can push a baby into being a child prodigy, and rather than listening to our opinions, she lashes out in anger that we don't believe her.
Oh well.
Good luck with your little progidys. The fact that you won't even answer how know how your two year old can read speaks volumes.
I must be on her ignore list. That is because I posted that there was a 6 year old in my engineering calculus class, and she must have gotten annoyed by that.
I think that learning is important. Perhaps the OP can learn tolerance and patience, and a willingness to hear the opinions of others.
No, and tolerance is a two-way street.
There is a fine line between pushing your kids to succeed and pushing them off a cliff though. They have to be self motivated on some level, we just have to put them in the optimal position to learn.
I'm really talking about infant learning though as opposed to that sort of thing. What can we do when they are babies to put them in the best position to succeed later in life?
If you already have a gifted child, teaching them is very different.
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