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Sometimes its just a matter of a kid being a little slow to catch on or developing at different rates. There isn't necessarily a "learning disability" when someone isn't performing well on cue.
I disagree with the poster above who thinks it's stressful to work with your kids at home if they are struggling. WHAT? That's what parents are supposed to do...long before "testing" and "IEP" and "disability" became everyday words when talking about preschoolers and kindergarteners. Schools and teachers are great and all, but they don't absolve parental responsibilities when it comes to education. Some people will have to work harder than others to make the grade, that's life not a label.
OP, I hope you find the help you need.
I think that poster meant it was stressful for the CHILD....
I disagree with the poster above who thinks it's stressful to work with your kids at home if they are struggling. WHAT? That's what parents are supposed to do...long before "testing" and "IEP" and "disability" became everyday words when talking about preschoolers and kindergarteners. Schools and teachers are great and all, but they don't absolve parental responsibilities when it comes to education. Some people will have to work harder than others to make the grade, that's life not a label.
You have no idea what you are talking about. I love helping my kids with academics and have helped them extensively through the years. However, there is a world of difference between helping a child with normal needs and helping a child with a learning disability and/or other problems.
I would sit with my ld child for hours on end while she struggled with the most basic things. I remember when she was trying to read a book once that had the word "dolphin" in it repeatedly. Over and over again, she could not read that word. She would struggle through it once, and then it would come again, and it was like she had never seen the word before even though she had just read it--over and over and over and over again. She of course would get upset. Therefore, there was the crying and meltdowns. It could take her an hour to complete one word problem in math.
I would work to come up with new ways to explain things, but she was so frustrated she would just yell at me when I would try new things. Kids are generally less likely to do that with educators who are not their parents. My dd was comfortable enough at home to have meltdowns and screaming fits when she was frustrated. However, she was aware enough not to do this at school because it would embarrass her.
In addition, special education teachers are trained to deal with these problems. A reading specialist had techniques I would have never thought of doing because she had experience and training I did not have. She helped my daughter overcome her reading difficulties. Some of my dd's other problems were more challenging. For the past three years, my daughter has had a math teacher with more than 30 years of teaching experience. She has been able to help my dd in math in ways many other teachers and I have not been able to. My dd's previous math teacher fully endorsed the move to this other math teacher's class mid-year because the previous teacher recognized that she was unable to help my daughter.
I am well educated and have read as many things as I could get my hands on to try to help my daughter and my other kids for that matter. However, I am humble enough to admit I certainly did not have all the answers. Some of the educators who helped my daughter were like angels to me coming to the rescue. I respect the knowledge and helpful techniques they brought to the table. If I had tried to do it on my own, I think my dd would be failing out of school right now and would not have made the tremendous progress she has made.
ellar, I am completely with you. My otherwise well-behaved happy child threw complete fits over reading--would throw her homework in the potty :-), hit me, kick me, cry. Truly, I could not get close enough to her to teach her her letters! It was not until she was diagnosed w/ an LD and we started getting her remediation that she calmed down about it. Now we enjoy our homework time together. Thank goodness for the professionals!
I never said they are "out to get" anyone, nor did I ever, ever mention they are out to harm a child. My goodness. What I said was in agreement with another poster that the district as a whole is not necessarily your "friend" when it comes to special education.As I mentioned in my previous post, I personally have had nothing but very good experiences with the two districts we've worked with, and we LOVE our principal and teachers--but others we know have not been so fortunate. Budgets are extremely tight (some states more than others), and that doesn't always work in the favor of children who might be on the edge of the spectrum, or dyslexic, or that have sensory issues. Sometimes you DO need the help of an attorney. Sometimes you don't. However, it's best not to go into your first meeting all starry-eyed as if everyone there didn't already have 4 other IEP ARDs that day, or even the ability to remember your last name, let alone what is going on with your kid because they're just as stretched and tired as anyone else. But this is the real world: prepare for the worst, hope for the best. I would never recommend anyone go charging into an ARD on the offense; that's just silly and gets your child absolutely nowhere. I always looked at everyone in our ARDs as a team. We are all working together for the good of our little Feebs. Does the district care about that? Well, on the surface, no. They're an administrative and an executive role and numbers (budgetary and testing) are going to be the first priority.
As for my husband and myself, we've never even entertained the thought, and I am baffled at your assumptions all around that I and every other parent like me out there automatically do, as if we're all just sucking money out from other children because we can and by golly, we will. I'm rather put off by that attitude, since you know absolutely nothing about me, my daughter, or our situation. So if you think comments like mine make you mad, you should have seen me after reading yours.
Yes, this is a very thoughtful post. I work very well with my district since I have kid with a 504 and another with an IEP receiving Spec Ed. Advocating is not necessarily hitting administration over the head but doing everything for your child. That has been my focus and I have done it without lawyers. The IEP process here in Portland, OR was actually very straight forward and the district provided our family, an autistic specialist, who was very helpful.
I need some help on what to do and where to go. so I thought I could ask the group here.
I have a 6 yr old daughter that is in kindergarten this year and is struggling with school. Learning her letters, sight words, etc.
So let me backup into her history. She has always been in a daycare (learning center). We started at a Goddard school in infancy, then when she turned 3 we moved and she was in a primrose school till about 4 1/2. We moved again and then she was in a church Pre school in there Pre-k program. FYI - she has a june 1st B-day. When she was 4 we noticed that she was very sensitive and would get very upset if she could not do something - this continues to that day. From 4 years old on - each teacher would tell us that she was lagging behind the other children in regards to the curriculum. Before each school year we would tell the upcoming teacher and she would get extra help. This continued through her Pre-K year. At the end of the Pre-K we asked the Pre-K teacher if she should take an extra year of Pre-K to see if another year of maturity would help and everyone decided that it would be best to go to kindgarten in part because of all her friends that were in Pre-K were going to kindergarten and to the same class. So we did and almost immediately in the 1st month the teachers and the administration told us she was not recognizing as the other kids were and so she was enrolled in the IEP program. At that same moment - our Work/personal lives changed and we moved from Atlanta to Cleveland, OH. Because of that move we decided it would be best to put her into Pre-K for another year in Cleveland. This past year she had been into Pre-K and the teachers there saw the same things again and worked with her more but she was still struggling. So come august she went to kindergarten. This past 6 months she has done ok but the teachers saw something/lagging behind and our daughter was enrolled in the Title 1 program which basicially is having another teacher work with her one on one. Well, that has not helped and she is still lagging behind. And these past 4 months we have gotten her a tutor that comes to work with her after school. That brings us up to this point.
We have always thought she might have a learning disability and even got her tested last summer and we were told she was OK. This coming week we will be meeting with the school and they are going to dicuss with us next steps. However, I am not even sure what questions I need to be asking or where to go next. What are my rights for my child? Do I tell them to do testing? Do I tell them they need to put my child into the IEP program? Where do I go to learn about what questions to ask?
Sorry for the long post but wanted to give as much info as possible. thx in advance for any suggestions!
Has she been tested for dyslexia?
What really hits me from this post is all the moves, new schools, constant adjustment, no stability for the child. My thought is that the problem is emotional/psychological, not learning or intelligence-based. This child has been uprooted and moved more in her 1st 6 years of life than most kids in their first 22 years. You might try finding a good child psychologist for her. Anxiety and insecurity may be her problem.
Just an aside: "sight words"?! What is that, don't tell me some schools are still using the "see and say" method, instead of phonics? That's a terrible method, and has been proven not to work for teaching reading skills. It's been an unmitigated failure in California. Are you in a position to put her into a private school, where they teach phonics?
What really hits me from this post is all the moves, new schools, constant adjustment, no stability for the child. My thought is that the problem is emotional/psychological, not learning or intelligence-based. This child has been uprooted and moved more in her 1st 6 years of life than most kids in their first 22 years. You might try finding a good child psychologist for her. Anxiety and insecurity may be her problem.
Just an aside: "sight words"?! What is that, don't tell me some schools are still using the "see and say" method, instead of phonics? That's a terrible method, and has been proven not to work for teaching reading skills. It's been an unmitigated failure in California. Are you in a position to put her into a private school, where they teach phonics?
Schools use a combination of sight words and phonics in most cases.
Note that despite the hype for phonics, it isn't necessarily the best way to teach reading to all children or even most children. It's not that we should abandon phonics, but that we need to teach more than phonics and that children who already read for meaning do not need phonics instruction.
From long-term studies conducted by the National Institutes of Health, it is known that an effective reading program should include the following components.
Recognize that students learn to read in a certain order: first they must understand that words are made up of different sounds, then associate sounds with written words, and finally they can decode words and read groups of words.
Students who have trouble learning to read need to be specifically taught the relationships of letters, words and sounds. (Awareness of letter/sound relationships is the main tool good readers use to decode unfamiliar words.)
Each child needs a different amount of practice to be a fluent reader.
Phonics instruction should be based on individual student needs and taught as part of a comprehensive, literature-based reading program.
Abundant opportunities for children to read at their own reading level help them to learn to read for meaning and enjoy reading.
Highly trained teachers can help children develop good, overall literacy skills: good vocabularies, knowledge of correct syntax and spelling, reasoning skills and questioning skills.
What really hits me from this post is all the moves, new schools, constant adjustment, no stability for the child. My thought is that the problem is emotional/psychological, not learning or intelligence-based. This child has been uprooted and moved more in her 1st 6 years of life than most kids in their first 22 years. You might try finding a good child psychologist for her. Anxiety and insecurity may be her problem.
My kids moved as often as this, if not more. A high percentage of military kids do, it's just the nature if the beast. It didn't seem to adversely impact them all, nor most of our friends' kids. It might have bothered this child, and maybe it is something the parent wishes to explore, but moving a lot when they are young doesn't automatically cause problems, especially if those moves aren't tied to other issues such as divorce.
Quick update: My 6 year old daughter has progressed this year, we go her in the title 1 program at her kindgarten (program before EIP), got a private tutor and we have worked with her. We also got a psychologist. The psycolgoist diagnosed anxiety non specific. We are going to sessions every other week to help her deal with anxiety.
However in terms of learning she has really progressed - the extra help the school has given her has really helped. Now she will sit down with me and WANT to read with me. she is till behind the other kids but the fighting and crying has really been at a minimum. I post after the school year on where she is then.
Thanks for the update! I have seen kids with serious learning issues overcome them and go on to great things in high school and college. Struggling in the early grades doesn't mean your child will always struggle. Good luck to you and your dear child.
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Wow.
