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Old 02-19-2014, 08:48 AM
 
50 posts, read 84,654 times
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My son is 6 years old and in kindergarten. He went to a different school last year (pre-k) but we are out of district and they were full this year so they would not allow out of district kids in. So in August 2013 when he started Kindergarten there was a kid during recess that would tell everyone that "Brad"(my son) cant play with us because he has glasses(He is one of the only ones with glasses) He begged me not to tell the teacher and just let it go. I let it go and noticed that he was talking about playing football during recess now so I thought everything was good. Well last night my son and husband had a night together of just them at the movies and my husband came home & asked me about this kid . My son told him that they all play duck duck goose during recess and that specific kid tells everyone to never pick him. I think the reason he does not like him is because they have races and my son is the only one in the 2 classes that can beat him. He has something against him for sure and he is making his 6 year old life miserable! He is also claming that since he is the "champion" he tells everyone what to do and they have to listen. My son let me know that yes mom they let me play football with them now but it is always 6 on their team and me by myself on my team .He said sometimes they tell the new kid to be on my team. I told him he is not alowed to play football with them anymore (he comes home with his jeans tore daily and now I know why--they are all 6 tackling him and he has no chance!).How do I go about telling the teacher about this without sounding like one of "those moms" whos kid does no wrong. My son telling the teacher is out of the question--he will not even consider it because they have drilled into there heads that they will have to wear a tattle tale if they tattle on people. Also they have a color chart and my son is ALWAYS the only child on the top good behavior chart so he is convinved that he will have to move down a color if he tells on the kid. I am at a loss of what to do...my husband is considering selling our house and moving to our old school district just to get away from this bully! Thank you.....(oh and also, this is a TINY school --11 kids in my sons class and 12 in the other kindergarten class)
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Old 02-19-2014, 09:49 AM
 
20,793 posts, read 61,151,729 times
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Your child is 6. If this is happening, you need to talk to the teacher. If your son was 16, that's a different story...

Email the teacher. Tell her that your son has told both you and your husband things that are concerning you and you would appreciate if she could eyeball the situation and see if anything needs to be done. I'm not saying your child is lying, but sometimes kids stretch the truth to make themselves look different/better too and until you get all sides of the story, don't jump to conclusions. If you can remember that while your child is in school, your parenting will be so much easier. Now, it's likely that this bully is just that, however, you want to make sure. The teacher will want to know about this if the teacher is any good at her job.

Our son was the victim of a similar bullying situation. The school chose to ignore it and we eventually pulled him out of that school. That same bully ended up in a lot of trouble in high school because no one addressed his behavior....
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Old 02-19-2014, 03:37 PM
 
Location: Texas
1,029 posts, read 1,482,952 times
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Definitely, I would email the teacher. Kinder kids don't have all the skills to resolve problems on their own. The teacher can evaluate what is happening and see if action needs to be taken.

If you aren't satisfied with her class, then talk to the school counselor. At my daughter's elementary school, the counselor teaches classes on why bullying is bad and what to do about it.
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Old 02-19-2014, 04:18 PM
 
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Alert the teacher, for sure, and get some feedback, but I am dubious that a school allows tackle football to be played at recess.
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Old 02-19-2014, 04:56 PM
 
Location: SLC, UT
1,571 posts, read 2,808,361 times
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In addition to contacting the teacher, you might also become pro-active in setting up play dates with kids in his class. It can be hard being the new kid, but when he makes friends, not only will it get easier, but then there's a group of kids around him who will be less likely to listen to the bully, or will stand up to the bully with/for your son.

I was always so thankful that my daughter's birthday was right after school started. It made it so nice when we moved or when she started at a new school - we would just invite all the kids in her class to her party, and it was an instant way for her to make new friends.
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Old 02-20-2014, 04:25 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,026,928 times
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I agree that you should talk with the teacher right away. Or if you do not want to do that, make arrangements to "happen to be in the neighborhood" a few times during recess and "spy on the activities" without your child knowing that you are there (but don't be surprised if the person on duty comes up to you or even calls the police to report an adult loitering near the school).

Kindergarten children are very self-centered and many times it is difficult for them to see the whole picture. I am not saying that your son is not telling the truth ---- but his version of the truth may differ somewhat than how an adult would view the situation. The bully may really be a bully (hiding under the radar) or may be a bossy child or may be a young leader (that the other children respect & look up to) or just a more vocal, verbal child. It may be hard for your child to tell the difference----but the teacher would know what is accurate.

The adult on recess duty would clearly put a stop to any game that involved 6 kids on one side and 1 or 2 children on the other side, plus tackle football is against playground rules in every elementary school that I know. So, perhaps this happened once or twice and your son is telling you that it is a frequent occurrence when it is not.

Bottom line, get involved to know what is happening. Since he is new to the school it probably would be helpful to set up a few play dates so that he will get to know the other children better. This may also build his social skills.

Good luck.
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Old 02-21-2014, 09:14 AM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,393 posts, read 30,852,352 times
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When i was in pre school I had a bully for some time. I had long hair so he called me a girl every day. My dad told me to stand up to a bully and not listen to him. The next class he was teasing me so i went to him and socked him in the face. The teacher got really mad at my dad, however.. that kid never messed with me again.
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Old 02-25-2014, 03:21 PM
 
Location: USA
5,738 posts, read 5,421,872 times
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Something has to be done. It's easiest to do deal with when kids are being outright mean, but it sounds like the other one is being a little psychological devil and, sadly, happens to command some respect around the playground.

Tell him that other kids don't have the right to make him feel bad. Whatever mean thing the other kid does to him, he is perfectly fine doing it doing it right back. And he doesn't have to act like he's okay or not mad at anyone. Tell him that the underlings aren't any different from or better than him, and they're deciding out of weakness to follow the other kid around. A little lesson on understanding others that he'll hopefully be able to grasp, which should boost his relative self esteem.

Violence is an option, too. Adults have the luxury of walking away from jerks, kids do not. And the penalties for an adult are much worse. But sometimes that's all someone else's mean kid will respect.
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Old 03-24-2014, 09:36 PM
 
50 posts, read 84,654 times
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Thanks for all the replies. It started up again after a month of nothing extreme happening. Today my son got hit in the eye with a ball and the "bully" was making fun of him and laughing at him. I finally have had enough and let the teacher know. (email) I am curious to see what she says. They do allow tackle football in his school (its a small tiny farm school) and its normally just innocent football but this kid is making it ridiculous! My husband and I are considering moving schools (selling our house we bought 2 years ago) all due to this bully!
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Old 03-24-2014, 09:38 PM
 
50 posts, read 84,654 times
Reputation: 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by It'sAutomatic View Post
Something has to be done. It's easiest to do deal with when kids are being outright mean, but it sounds like the other one is being a little psychological devil and, sadly, happens to command some respect around the playground.

Tell him that other kids don't have the right to make him feel bad. Whatever mean thing the other kid does to him, he is perfectly fine doing it doing it right back. And he doesn't have to act like he's okay or not mad at anyone. Tell him that the underlings aren't any different from or better than him, and they're deciding out of weakness to follow the other kid around. A little lesson on understanding others that he'll hopefully be able to grasp, which should boost his relative self esteem.

Violence is an option, too. Adults have the luxury of walking away from jerks, kids do not. And the penalties for an adult are much worse. But sometimes that's all someone else's mean kid will respect.
I agree with you HOWEVER my husband refuses to see it this way. He just tells our son to turn around and walk away and be the bigger person while I would love for him to defend himself...for example he took his candy my son earned by getting good behavior today and ate it. I would love if my son would have atleast went and let the teacher know instead of just walking away and moving on. Maybe I am wrong... I just dont know the right way to deal with this
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