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Hi, first off, I'm so very happy that my child is smart! This isn't about me it's about him. I had my 8 year old tested by a psych the other day because he's a very emotional child. What came out of that meeting shocked me and now I'm at a loss as to what to do!
My son has always been way ahead of the curve in reading and now simple math and when they tested him the other day, the psych tells me he's reading at a 8th grade level (he's in 2nd grade) and 5th grade math level. He also mentioned to me that his IQ is 138.
So, I'm at a loss as to what to do now.
To me, he's a kid. Like soccers, his brothers, playing and everything just like every other kid. He does seem to get really frustrated really quickly and he can't express himself very well. It's like his mind out paces his mouth and he has a hard time communicating how he feels, so this causes him to explode emotionally.
Am I doing something wrong? Am I putting him into the wrong environment by letting him do "normal" kid stuff? Is this a source of his frustrations because of his intelligence?
He's in public schools, should I consider applying to a magnet school?
How reliable is an IQ test at age 8?
I have so many questions and don't know where to turn so I thought I'd reach out to see if anyone has been through what I'm going through and if so how'd you come out the other side!
Thanks in advance for any advice you may have.
First off, the only thing IQ tests is how well a person will do academically. It is useless for determining things like Common Sense, Emotional development, or Wisdom. From personal experience with friends who had very high IQ's (160+) the worst thing you can do is focus on the IQ. Let your son be a kid. Put him in accelerated classes at school, but DO NOT let them jump him a grade level. He needs to socialize at with his own age group because they are all going through the same "development stages" and they need to relate those issues within their peers.
Finally, you may want to seek out and perhaps even get your kid into MENSA. MENSA is an organization for people with IQ's above 130. They have fun games, and organized gatherings that will stimulate your son. You can find out more at: About Mensa International | Mensa International
Hi, first off, I'm so very happy that my child is smart! This isn't about me it's about him. I had my 8 year old tested by a psych the other day because he's a very emotional child. What came out of that meeting shocked me and now I'm at a loss as to what to do!
My son has always been way ahead of the curve in reading and now simple math and when they tested him the other day, the psych tells me he's reading at a 8th grade level (he's in 2nd grade) and 5th grade math level. He also mentioned to me that his IQ is 138.
So, I'm at a loss as to what to do now.
To me, he's a kid. Like soccers, his brothers, playing and everything just like every other kid. He does seem to get really frustrated really quickly and he can't express himself very well. It's like his mind out paces his mouth and he has a hard time communicating how he feels, so this causes him to explode emotionally.
Am I doing something wrong? Am I putting him into the wrong environment by letting him do "normal" kid stuff? Is this a source of his frustrations because of his intelligence?
He's in public schools, should I consider applying to a magnet school?
How reliable is an IQ test at age 8?
I have so many questions and don't know where to turn so I thought I'd reach out to see if anyone has been through what I'm going through and if so how'd you come out the other side!
Thanks in advance for any advice you may have.
It is very important that your son do normal kid things even if he is very smart. All children should have the ability to develop all aspects of their personality.
My kids were all in gifted programs in elementary school. When they went to 6th grade we moved them to a private, college prep school because we did not feel that the local public schools offered an appropriate education for them. However, we were very careful to make sure that they did not become automatons who were unable to do anything but read books and take tests.
While the kids were young they took music lessons (piano, drums, guitar, trumpet). They played sports (football, lacrosse, wrestling, weightlifting, roller hockey). They went to birthday parties. They participated in the school musical. They watched tv and played video games. If they had been interested in art we would have encouraged that. They went to the movies and the beach. They did all the things that every other kid does.
It is really important that gifted kids are valued as people and that they learn other skills besides those taught in school. It is important that parents understand that even if their child reads on a college level at age 10 they are still 10. Gifted kids are different from typical kids in some ways but they aren't THAT different.
They should understand that you love them because of who they are and not because they are smart.
It is very important that your son do normal kid things even if he is very smart. All children should have the ability to develop all aspects of their personality.
My kids were all in gifted programs in elementary school. When they went to 6th grade we moved them to a private, college prep school because we did not feel that the local public schools offered an appropriate education for them. However, we were very careful to make sure that they did not become automatons who were unable to do anything but read books and take tests.
While the kids were young they took music lessons (piano, drums, guitar, trumpet). They played sports (football, lacrosse, wrestling, weightlifting, roller hockey). They went to birthday parties. They participated in the school musical. They watched tv and played video games. If they had been interested in art we would have encouraged that. They went to the movies and the beach. They did all the things that every other kid does.
It is really important that gifted kids are valued as people and that they learn other skills besides those taught in school. It is important that parents understand that even if their child reads on a college level at age 10 they are still 10. Gifted kids are different from typical kids in some ways but they aren't THAT different.
They should understand that you love them because of who they are and not because they are smart.
I truly believe, that if more kids were treated like this, and not funneled through public school systems, we would find that we have far more "gifted" children than we thought. Public schools rely on a one size fits all system, and the first rule about children that you will learn if you look at them as individuals, is that one size does not fit all, in fact, it fits very few.
To the OP: Don't be scared of stigmas or state propaganda when looking at alternatives to public schooling, your kid is already smart, he probably knows better than the teachers what he should be learning. He sure as hell knows what he is interested in, and kids actually learn when allowed to study what they are interested in. Your child has a natural gift in that department, you don't need to find a way to school him, you need to keep out-dated school systems from getting in his way.
First off, the only thing IQ tests is how well a person will do academically. It is useless for determining things like Common Sense, Emotional development, or Wisdom. From personal experience with friends who had very high IQ's (160+) the worst thing you can do is focus on the IQ. Let your son be a kid. Put him in accelerated classes at school, but DO NOT let them jump him a grade level. He needs to socialize at with his own age group because they are all going through the same "development stages" and they need to relate those issues within their peers.
Finally, you may want to seek out and perhaps even get your kid into MENSA. MENSA is an organization for people with IQ's above 130. They have fun games, and organized gatherings that will stimulate your son. You can find out more at: About Mensa International | Mensa International
Thank you, I've heard of mensa but know almost nothing about it.
I truly believe, that if more kids were treated like this, and not funneled through public school systems, we would find that we have far more "gifted" children than we thought. Public schools rely on a one size fits all system, and the first rule about children that you will learn if you look at them as individuals, is that one size does not fit all, in fact, it fits very few.
To the OP: Don't be scared of stigmas or state propaganda when looking at alternatives to public schooling, your kid is already smart, he probably knows better than the teachers what he should be learning. He sure as hell knows what he is interested in, and kids actually learn when allowed to study what they are interested in. Your child has a natural gift in that department, you don't need to find a way to school him, you need to keep out-dated school systems from getting in his way.
I'm looking into magnet schools, but they really don't get cranked up here in SC until high school years. There are some prep schools for earlier ages but they range in tuition from High to Insane, and I can't see me spending 30K per year to get him this type schooling.
I'm looking into magnet schools, but they really don't get cranked up here in SC until high school years. There are some prep schools for earlier ages but they range in tuition from High to Insane, and I can't see me spending 30K per year to get him this type schooling.
I don't know about your local availability, but have you considered homeschooling under an umbrella school?
From Wikipedia:
Quote:
An umbrella school is an alternative education school which serves to oversee the homeschooling of children to fulfill government educational requirements.
Umbrella schools vary greatly in what they offer and cost. Some offer group classes, a defined curriculum, sports, field trips, standardized testing, and more. Others exist only to collect the minimal legal requirements, allowing parents to choose their curriculum and methods of teaching, as well as freedom from an annual evaluation or testing requirements. Additionally, some umbrella schools follow a specific faith, while others are secular.
This option puts you and your child in charge of his education, it also lets you select your educator, and instruct them on how to educate your child. (Public schools instruct you on how to parent.)
I am not a huge fan of magnet schools, they just seem like glorified public schools to me. The state is inefficient and pretty crappy at providing services, even if you select a "higher tier" of their service... they are notorious for it. They still don't have to provide results for their money, in fact, the worse they do, the more money they get.... the opposite is true among private educators, they only get money by providing results. This weeds out the poor performing schools, and drives down the cost of the good ones. (The only reason that private tuition can be so expensive is the existence of public schooling.)
There are also online schools, you can customize your child's education and hire a daycare provider that will provide the social interactions, and make sure your child gets his online education done as well... but with the flexibility, he can have more play time with his friends during the day, and do some extra studying with you in the evening. You can even sign him up for private sports leagues if he wants to play with his peers. These are just some ideas, but my main suggestion is stay involved.
(I survived public schools with my intellect until sophomore year in high-school, when under advice from my parents, I dropped out... tested for my GED and ACT and I started college at 16 years old. My younger brother is "unschooled" from 8th grade on, he is 22 and recently landed a 60k/year job and is on a solid career path. That is my personal experience on the matter, the rest is stuff I have learned from extensive studying on the matter.)
I too was bored in school until I found a goal. I was working on a farm at age 15 when I saw the Blue Angels fly by. I decided I wanted to be a Navy pilot. I did that. It isn't supposed to be easy. It was for me.
You have to learn patience and tolerance. In Maine such people are called "wicked smaht". Sometimes you need to keep quiet about some issues. What you know can be done to solve a problem will not always appeal to others.
My parents put me in a private school, which helped.
Get him tested for any learning disabilities or mental issues (and do it a couple times over a period of a few years - kids go through phases so what might seem like one thing is actually another thing). I had undiagnosed ADD and no one realized it - I did GREAT in school, but my social skills were TERRIBLE and I had a hellish academic experience because of it. Eventually graduated as valedictorian, but it was a hard haul and more than a decade before anyone figured out what was wrong.
I'm going to say the following are good ideas:
1) Get him involved in something active, whether it's hiking, traditional team sports, tennis, running, dog sports, whatever. It will help him settle down.
2) Research "enrichment" type programs in your area. My parents sent me to a really nerdy "college" camp where we took classes. It was a lot of fun. He will know that he's not the only one with brains like his.
3) Volunteer together. He needs perspective and empathy.
4) Look into meditation geared for kids. He needs to know how to shut off his brain. It can be very stressful when you can't do that.
5) Provide structure. Your kid needs a schedule, responsibilities and consequences.
And just remember you're not the only person dealing with this. I have a family member with three young sons, and one is just as scary smart as your kid. He's dealing with exactly the same problems you mentioned. He and his wife have made all of their children's educations and growth the center of their lives, while still prioritizing their marriage. They do it mostly by very organized scheduling and a methodical approach to any "issue" that arises.
My parents put me in a private school, which helped.
Get him tested for any learning disabilities or mental issues (and do it a couple times over a period of a few years - kids go through phases so what might seem like one thing is actually another thing). I had undiagnosed ADD and no one realized it - I did GREAT in school, but my social skills were TERRIBLE and I had a hellish academic experience because of it. Eventually graduated as valedictorian, but it was a hard haul and more than a decade before anyone figured out what was wrong.
I'm going to say the following are good ideas:
1) Get him involved in something active, whether it's hiking, traditional team sports, tennis, running, dog sports, whatever. It will help him settle down.
2) Research "enrichment" type programs in your area. My parents sent me to a really nerdy "college" camp where we took classes. It was a lot of fun. He will know that he's not the only one with brains like his.
3) Volunteer together. He needs perspective and empathy.
4) Look into meditation geared for kids. He needs to know how to shut off his brain. It can be very stressful when you can't do that.
5) Provide structure. Your kid needs a schedule, responsibilities and consequences.
And just remember you're not the only person dealing with this. I have a family member with three young sons, and one is just as scary smart as your kid. He's dealing with exactly the same problems you mentioned. He and his wife have made all of their children's educations and growth the center of their lives, while still prioritizing their marriage. They do it mostly by very organized scheduling and a methodical approach to any "issue" that arises.
Good luck
Fantastic approach. I have to concur. Especially with #1 and #2. Not all kids like team sports but keeping active is good for kids with active minds. Find what he likes and do that. There is no one magic activity but something with movement (including theater or dance) will help settle down an over active mind.
My son went to two different nerdy college camps when he was in middle school. He doesn't have time for one this summer because he will be going to lacrosse camps this summer (college recruiting starts early in lacrosse). He really enjoyed the camps he attended. He did the Duke program one year and the Vanderbilt program another year. He thought the Vanderbilt program was more social and he enjoyed it more than the Duke program. He made is decision based on the course offerings (there are many college based programs for middle school kids).
Private school does help. Even if your child is one of the smartest kids in the room he will not be alone. All of my kids were in gifted programs in public school. All of them benefited from moving to private school in 6th grade. My youngest is by far the smartest and gets frustrated when he is in a group of kids that he perceives as stupid. It has taken a lot of work on our part to get him to understand that people are different and he needs to have patience.
He likes sports and sports has helped him develop patience because he is a good athlete but not an elite athlete. No matter how hard he works there is a limit to what he can achieve because he is not that big (5'9" at age 15) and not that fast. He can't do anything about his size and although he has developed good running technique he will never be a speed demon. Sports (and other social activities like music, theater, art class, etc) can help kids realize that people have different abilities and that while one person may have superior intellect, others can have other positive attributes.
My parents put me in a private school, which helped.
Get him tested for any learning disabilities or mental issues (and do it a couple times over a period of a few years - kids go through phases so what might seem like one thing is actually another thing). I had undiagnosed ADD and no one realized it - I did GREAT in school, but my social skills were TERRIBLE and I had a hellish academic experience because of it. Eventually graduated as valedictorian, but it was a hard haul and more than a decade before anyone figured out what was wrong.
I'm going to say the following are good ideas:
1) Get him involved in something active, whether it's hiking, traditional team sports, tennis, running, dog sports, whatever. It will help him settle down.
2) Research "enrichment" type programs in your area. My parents sent me to a really nerdy "college" camp where we took classes. It was a lot of fun. He will know that he's not the only one with brains like his.
3) Volunteer together. He needs perspective and empathy.
4) Look into meditation geared for kids. He needs to know how to shut off his brain. It can be very stressful when you can't do that.
5) Provide structure. Your kid needs a schedule, responsibilities and consequences.
And just remember you're not the only person dealing with this. I have a family member with three young sons, and one is just as scary smart as your kid. He's dealing with exactly the same problems you mentioned. He and his wife have made all of their children's educations and growth the center of their lives, while still prioritizing their marriage. They do it mostly by very organized scheduling and a methodical approach to any "issue" that arises.
Good luck
Thank you~ All very good ideas!
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