School/Work/Parenting....how do you do it? (degree, preschool, pay)

[glass_of_merlot]

I wrote in an earlier thread about going back to school late in life.

I'm now starting a new thread and I would like it to be a "supportive" thread where people can turn for advice, ask question etc.
I'm going back to school this fall. I was accepted into the radiography program. It's a 2 year, 75 credit hr course.
I'm not going to lie. I'm worried. I have an 8 year old and he is in school all day long so that's not a problem, but I also have a 16 month old and she is a handful. My husband works long hours, gets off at 11 pm. We have no family at all here in Chicago so I will have to pay for childcare. Luckily I won't be working; Thank God... lol !

I know I can do this because I want to, but I would love to hear some tips /advice from other moms or dads who has experienced similar situations. How did you manage? When did you study? Did you go crazy at times? Was your relationship with your spouse effected?

Thanks, any help would be great!

[North Beach Person]

I did it for years. Mrs. NBP's job at the time had really random end times (residential treatment facility with school) and she never knew what would blow up right before the end of the day.

I don't know or really have any tips, I just did it. Came home, picked up the kids, made dinner, etc. Fit in groceries and laundry. Also was (and still am) involved in local government so there were commitments there as well.

I guess I just focused on what needed done and did it.

Fortunately the kids (2 apart by 2 years, a 3rd 5 years later and a 4th 6 years after that) were fairly low maintenance. The two oldest (all 3 of the oldest really) would tag along as I was doing things in the yard and what not. With the 4th the oldest two were able to watch him.

[Ginge McFantaPants]

I've been working on my degree for the past 2 years, and it gets a little bit easier each semester. My older two kids are in school, but I still have my youngest at home during the day. I am able to take most of my classes online, although I find that to actually be harder than going to classes on campus because I'm surrounded by so many distractions at home (laundry, clutter, City Data...)

Anyway, my routine is this: get the older kids off to school, work for a couple of hours on school while the little guy plays. After lunch I do my housework, do some prep work for dinner, take the little guy out to play, then work for another hour or so. The big kids come home at 3:45, so we get homework out of the way, have dinner, then if I have an on-campus class that night I leave one the Mr. comes home. If not, we just have some family time or I run the errands I can't get done during the day. Kids go to bed by 9, then I have some quality time with the Mr. and get back to studying after he goes to bed. I wrap up around 2am, and then start all over at 8am.

Weekends I usually go to the library for a few hours, and sometimes I have freelance work that I do on Sundays while everyone is at church.

[glass_of_merlot]

Wow.! Thanks so much. My daughter is so attached to me. Always want to be around me and cry if I leave. I need to work on that. Even my husband have hard time.

[Ivorytickler]

Live in the moment. When you're at work, be at work, at home be at home at school be at school. My biggest problem when I was juggling all three is my mind was on the other two no matter where I was. Once I learned to focus on where I was things went much better. When you're at school, there's nothing you can do about home and work . Ditto for the others. Be where you are.

[okaydorothy]

I did it a few years ago. I would take classes in the morning and try to be home by 1pm. The boys were on the bus at 7;30 and I would pick them up from school around 2;30pm. I think the youngest was 9 so his sibling was 10. My husband was home every night and at the weekends so he was around to help. We do not have any family here either.
The kids understood that I had homework to do and would generally leave me alone.
My husband went back when the boys were smaller ; 2 & 3 and I would take them out for the day if he had a lot to do.
Try to make sure you husband is a team player and is on board with this. Otherwise it can cause a lot of resentment.

[pobre]

Keep some materials in the car...I spent a LOT of time in carpool lines. Usually, I had some time to kill between leaving a class and picking up a kid...so I would study/read in the car.

Find yourself a favorite spot in a library...impossible to get up and clean/straighten/wash & fold, etc.

Put the household chores on a schedule. If it's not Tuesday, don't worry about the laundry. Assign EVERYONE a daily/weekly task.

When your kids sit down with homework, you do too. Now, don't expect to get in some deep thinking time, this is more about modeling.

The younger one will begin to see your routine as routine, and will begin to emulate your study time. Learn to pack your most intensive work into the times she will be in preschool/daycare or whatever. Put her to bed at a good time (probably by 8).

Don't for a minute think that you are taking away from your family.

[TabulaRasa]

I started a FT graduate program this past January, right at about the same time I got pregnant with my first. Juggling coursework while contending with all-day morning sickness the past couple of months has been...interesting, and it's possible that if I'm put on bed rest in the third trimester (fairly likely due to a uterine anomaly), I may need to take the fall semester off.

The upside is that all my master's classes are in the evening, which will allow me to be home with the baby and doing my classwork during the day, at least up until my internships. My husband will be home when I'm at class, so childcare won't be a concern right away. I'm concerned with balancing my courseload and the demands of an infant, but we'll play it by ear.

My husband is a good teammate, as far as taking a role in childcare, shopping, running errands, etc., but I already know that day-to-day housekeeping is not a top priority for him, so the bottom line is that, during these hectic years, we're gonna have a more messy house than I'd like. I already made peace with the fact that if I'm taking all these things on, my standards are going to relax somewhere, and keeping my house Martha Stewart is the place I'm most willing to let things slide. It's worth it to me to focus on my kid and my studies.

I already do a lot of studying offsite so that I'm not tempted to walk away from my books to fold that basket of laundry. The laundry can wait or be done by my husband, my homework assignment can't. It helps with focus. I have that luxury now, though, before the baby's born.

[Meyerland]

Never cook one meal at a time. Seriously. Make a double batch and freeze one. Also you can make meatloaf and spaghetti sauce at the same time. One night in the kitchen and you have four home cooked meals.

Grocery shop when the store isn't busy and make a list by area. I went early in the morning before the family is up.

[Meyerland]

Any new clothes you buy for your child need to be coordinated and socks should all match so there isn't any lost socks you have to find. I prefer plain white ones. . If you find good shoes buy one that fit now and one size up for later.

Keep cleansers in each bathroom for ease of use.

Clean one room at a time and do it once a week. Put cleanser in toilet and in bathtub. Let it soak while you spray and clean mirror and countertop. Then scrub the toilet and bathtub. Then sweep and mop floor on way out. Clean fast and hard.

Keep toy bins in the bedrooms and living areas.

Touch your mail one time. Go through it and toss trash, pay the bills that aren't on auto payments, and respond to anything else. Piled up mail can be a huge hassle and create emergencies.