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Old 11-15-2016, 08:47 AM
 
Location: Sun City West, Arizona
50,421 posts, read 23,999,031 times
Reputation: 32728

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Riley09swb View Post
It's not about liking the kids or not liking the kids. One of the girls takes great satisfaction in not allowing others to play with them. It's about exclusion. It's the typical mean girl routine and it shouldn't be happening in a 2nd grade classroom.

We have the school counselor involved and a dialogue has started with the moms of the girls. We plan to get together as moms to start with and then go from there. Our kids are in a program that will have them potentially together for the next 3 years. Hopefully, the classes won't loop like they did last year and the girl will end up in the other class.
But then, as with most bullying scenarios, the bullies just move on to someone else.
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Old 11-15-2016, 08:54 AM
 
4,039 posts, read 4,930,618 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phetaroi View Post
But then, as with most bullying scenarios, the bullies just move on to someone else.
We are trying to take care of the problem this year so there isn't a problem next year. I would still like for the girl to be in the other class.
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Old 11-15-2016, 09:10 AM
 
4,315 posts, read 3,973,873 times
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My experience was involving my step son.

He was a junior........5'6, 150 lbs ......and was being picked on by a senior....5'10, 190
The senior could get served in bars and was in lots of trouble.

I stayed out of it until my step son started to come home from school with a bloody lip and ripped clothes.

The attacks would happen on school property right after dismissal for the day.
I called the school asking why this was tolerated and the school secretary ( who fielded all calls ) said ......" we don't get involved in student on student issues "

I imagine that has changed now.

By the way.........the bully kept getting his name in the court reports of the newspaper for 20 years after graduating.

Still leading a life of bullying and crime.
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Old 11-15-2016, 11:41 AM
 
17,183 posts, read 22,822,566 times
Reputation: 17473
Quote:
Originally Posted by Riley09swb View Post
It's not about liking the kids or not liking the kids. One of the girls takes great satisfaction in not allowing others to play with them. It's about exclusion. It's the typical mean girl routine and it shouldn't be happening in a 2nd grade classroom.

We have the school counselor involved and a dialogue has started with the moms of the girls. We plan to get together as moms to start with and then go from there. Our kids are in a program that will have them potentially together for the next 3 years. Hopefully, the classes won't loop like they did last year and the girl will end up in the other class.
Ask the school counselor to look at You Can't Say You Can't Play by Vivian Gussin Paley. Paley taught Kindergarten but her book extends the analysis through 5th grade.

https://www.amazon.com/You-Cant-Say-Play/dp/0674965906

https://coe.k-state.edu/events/schoo...ufman-Play.pdf

This American Life has a couple of episodes in the archive

https://www.thisamericanlife.org/rad...children?act=3
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Old 11-15-2016, 01:00 PM
 
Location: Sun City West, Arizona
50,421 posts, read 23,999,031 times
Reputation: 32728
Quote:
Originally Posted by Riley09swb View Post
We are trying to take care of the problem this year so there isn't a problem next year. I would still like for the girl to be in the other class.
I'm just curious what you think about this:

In my experience, and I mean my personal experience as well as professional experience, parents most often don't want their child playing with certain other children. Is that bullying, too?
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Old 11-15-2016, 01:02 PM
 
633 posts, read 578,934 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hbk4894 View Post
during school , i had a bit of name calling due to having large ears which i can laugh about it now but hurt at the time , just wondering if anyone here has any experiences with bullying?
Most bullies were also bullied
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Old 11-15-2016, 01:06 PM
 
633 posts, read 578,934 times
Reputation: 715
Quote:
Originally Posted by David A Stone View Post
My experience was involving my step son.

He was a junior........5'6, 150 lbs ......and was being picked on by a senior....5'10, 190
The senior could get served in bars and was in lots of trouble.

I stayed out of it until my step son started to come home from school with a bloody lip and ripped clothes.

The attacks would happen on school property right after dismissal for the day.
I called the school asking why this was tolerated and the school secretary ( who fielded all calls ) said ......" we don't get involved in student on student issues "

I imagine that has changed now.

By the way.........the bully kept getting his name in the court reports of the newspaper for 20 years after graduating.

Still leading a life of bullying and crime.
Why didn't you call the Dad? I recall way way way back I was in a heap load of trouble with this other kid. Dad starts screaming pulls out belt gives me a hit and yells to other kid your next. Kid backs up and yells back I am going down the block to get my Dad. My father yells back there is plenty of leather left in this belt for the both of you go get him.

That kid never came back up the block. If he was smart he would have said nothing. Cause odds are his Dad would have gave him the belt. Or even better, get the belt, he comes up the block, my Dad gives him the belt and then back down the block for another round of the belt.
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Old 11-15-2016, 01:16 PM
 
17,183 posts, read 22,822,566 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phetaroi View Post
I'm just curious what you think about this:

In my experience, and I mean my personal experience as well as professional experience, parents most often don't want their child playing with certain other children. Is that bullying, too?
It depends. If the child simply goes about his or her business and does not play with someone, that's one thing. When the child insists that others not play with that same someone, it is bullying. Also, it really does depend on the reasons for the exclusion. Often these things are not based on real traits of the child who is being excluded.

Also, in a school setting, children should be able to play with others in their classroom or even with others in their school. Outside of school, the parents do not have to invite a child over to play.

The problem is when kids are excluding others from the group in school.

Really read "You Can't Say You Can't Play" by Vivian Gussin Paley for the perspective of the kids and how teachers can encourage children to be inclusive.
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Old 11-15-2016, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Sun City West, Arizona
50,421 posts, read 23,999,031 times
Reputation: 32728
Quote:
Originally Posted by nana053 View Post
It depends. If the child simply goes about his or her business and does not play with someone, that's one thing. When the child insists that others not play with that same someone, it is bullying. Also, it really does depend on the reasons for the exclusion. Often these things are not based on real traits of the child who is being excluded.

Also, in a school setting, children should be able to play with others in their classroom or even with others in their school. Outside of school, the parents do not have to invite a child over to play.

The problem is when kids are excluding others from the group in school.

Really read "You Can't Say You Can't Play" by Vivian Gussin Paley for the perspective of the kids and how teachers can encourage children to be inclusive.
So let's say that your daughter doesn't want to play with Betty during recess because Betty picks her nose. Your daughter is then excluding Betty. Is that bullying?

We had a case where a parent came to the school (middle school) to complain about how here child was being bullied. I asked what form the bullying was in. "Jane didn't invite my daughter to her birthday party."
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Old 11-15-2016, 01:44 PM
 
4,039 posts, read 4,930,618 times
Reputation: 4772
Quote:
Originally Posted by phetaroi View Post
I'm just curious what you think about this:

In my experience, and I mean my personal experience as well as professional experience, parents most often don't want their child playing with certain other children. Is that bullying, too?
No, I don't think that is bullying. There are kids that I don't want my daughter to play with 1:1 in our neighborhood.
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