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Old 11-12-2006, 06:43 AM
156 posts, read 792,532 times
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We've had our kids in private and public schools (depending on where in the country we were living at the time). I'm just curious, do/did your kids attend public, private, or do you choose to homeschool? What was the reasoning behind the choice that you made? Thanks in advance for your feedback.
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Old 11-12-2006, 07:08 AM
Location: New Jersey
986 posts, read 2,808,869 times
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Our son went to public school. When it came time for our daughter we put her in catholic school. Wow what a difference. I wish we would have made that decision with our son. The kids are completely different. They are so well mannered.
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Old 11-12-2006, 07:56 AM
Location: in the southwest
13,395 posts, read 45,034,677 times
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We chose public schools because:

1) The public schools were good where we lived, with much time spent on core subjects, many extracurricular programs and much parental involvement

2) We were an active part of our sons' education, at home and at school/sports.
To me, teachers and parents should be partners and work together. Parents who do not try to meet the teachers halfway are not doing their children any favors.

3) We liked our kids experiencing the diversity of the students at public school

Having said all this, that doesn't mean that we were never disappointed or displeased--not true. But for the most part, we feel our kids got a really good education.
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Old 11-12-2006, 08:03 AM
Location: Springfield, Missouri
2,815 posts, read 12,989,349 times
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I went through all public schools, but I was fortunate where I grew up in California that the schools were excellent. My sister has my niece in a private school where she's advanced far beyond most of the kids her age. She's very bright...but...she's 8 and already too precocious in my opinion as well. She has been taught that she's brilliant and smarter than other kids and I think when she finds herself someday in a situation where they're smarter or brighter than she is, she'll have a meltdown and become a rebel. I wish my sister would keep her grounded with the advanced education. I live in SW Missouri and the kids across the road are all homeschooled. All three of them. The oldest just left to go to college this year in Joplin, Missouri. They've been homeschooled for religious reasons and because their parents believe the public schools are too corrupting at impressionable ages (even here). Those kids are the nicest, best mannered, fun loving, yet responsible kids I've met in years. They're well-spoken and just glow with health and life. My own dad would have been a terrible homeschool teacher, but the parents of these kids did a wonderful job. Their kids are exceptional. I think if you're going to homeschool, you have to make a total commitment to go all the way as it's a huge responsibility. Public schools offer exposure to other people and ideas and your child learns to adapt to change and differences...but that depends on where you're located too. I wouldn't have wanted to go to some schools growing up which were full of gang violence or racial issues, etc. Private schools can be a good alternative and it seems most kids going to them advance faster. I just worry when they're young that the boost is too much and they get a false idea of life.
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Old 11-12-2006, 08:30 AM
Location: Central Jersey - Florida
3,377 posts, read 14,632,129 times
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I went to Catholic school pre-k through 8 (thank you sister Mary McBreakmyknuckles cause they still hurt), Just kidding (I really want to go to heaven!). Tech school 9-12. I have met a number of children that were / are home schooled and most seem fine. However I did coach my sons team when he played little league. There were two children that played (one on my team one on another) that were home schooled. I think their social skills were lacking when it came to interacting with the other boys. The boy I had played with us when he was 12 and 13. He never seemed to fit in. The other 11 kids were into the same things that most children their age were except for this one kid. As a little joke for winning the league championship when they were thirteen I wanted to treat them to lunch by taking them to White Castles. I told all the kids to ask their parents if that was OK. All said yes and most parents wanted to come as well. All but that one kid whose parents told me that they preferred their son didn't eat there. I asked if was dietary issue or perhaps we could go get Pizza instead and they said no. I think he was devasted that he couldn't join in. I felt bad for him because you could see he wanted to go but didn't ask them twice, as would most kids his age. I just couldn't figure them out. I first met him and his parents when we were grading kids prior to the season starting. He had no skills and couldn't figure out why he was even trying out. He showed up with a plastic glove that was about three sizes too small. I told his parents that the glove was inadequate and they needed to get him a properly sized glove for safety concerns, they asked if the league provided them. I told them no but they could get him a cheap leather one for $25.00. It seemed to bother them. When he showed up for his first practice he still had the plastic glove. Since I wasn't going to let him play with it I wound up giving him an extra I had to use for the season. I never interacted personally with these parents (other than baseball) but I know of others that did. Their take on these people was they don't / won't let their kids be kids. I think that's a sad thing, but hopefully it's not the norm. Anyway that's my experience, has anyone else had a similar one?

Last edited by exhdo1; 11-12-2006 at 08:47 AM..
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Old 11-12-2006, 11:13 AM
Location: Grand Rapids, MN
571 posts, read 2,530,556 times
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I've known some home-schooled kids and agree that (at least the ones whose parents actually take it seriously and aren't using it as a way to excuse their out of control kids from school) most of them are very polite, bright and happy.

I would also agree that a lot of them lack social skills though. One home-schooled girl I knew who was considering transefering to public school for her senior year admitted she was very naive about the world and said her parents raised her in a "bubble". Definite disadvantage when it comes to real-world things like college and work where you have to intereact with "real" people, many of whom aren't as well-intentioned as mom and dad.

My husband taught at a private school once and said he saw similar things, but to a lesser degree. The kids were polite and bright for the most part and did have some social skills since they actually interacted with other kids...but they only interacted with other wealthy/white kids and seemed rather naive to some of the real world issues outside their "cushy" neighborhoods.

I'm not knocking private schools or homeschooling at all, but I think some parents do their children a disservice by overprotecting them.
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Old 12-04-2006, 07:58 PM
Location: north
45 posts, read 279,400 times
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Default public, private, homeschool

We started out in public school and did not fare too well. We made it to 6th grade before the bottom fell out. I noticed with my son, his self esteem take a nose dive, he was being bullied, teased, and ridiculed because he is shy, he has freckles, he is not rude, he would rather turn away from a fight. He struggled with some of his studies, and he took it very personally. He came home crying he was stupid, dumb. We did everything possible. Sylvan, home tudoring etc, and finally had him tested. He does have ADD, the medicines do have a positve affect as far as concentration, but it is the other side affects that he suffers from, that we quit giving it to him. The final straw was the day he made a 32 on a test. The teacher stood in front of the whole class and announced his grade. I have homeschooled my son from that day forward. He is now in 8th grade, above average. The downfall of course is socialization. We do have a homegroup and so on, and that is very positive, but I still feel there could be more. We do all we can to compusate in that area. Personally, I have no regrets, for I know it was best for us. It just infuriates me that it got to this point. There should be something implemented in schools for the kids that can easily fall through the cracks
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Old 12-05-2006, 07:14 AM
Location: Concord, NC
1,417 posts, read 6,909,556 times
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I am a male and I home school my two sons (13/11). I was in an accident in '95 that left me to where I couldn't work any longer. My wife and I changed roles, and now I'm home and she went back into teaching. For us, home schooling has been a great experience. Socialization issues (the "S" word as we home schoolers call it) are a non-issue from what I've seen, being that we home school and my wife has taught both public/private schools. Children are only as sheltered as any individual parent makes them. We're in a home school group of over 200 families here in suburban Charlotte, and socialization is not a problem at all. We could never do all of the activities that are offered. We also do many projects and activities with other outside groups. Trust me, before I started HSing, I had the same questions, misgivings, and misconceptions as I'm sure many of you do and have seen expressed on this thread. But I found in reality, nearly all were totally false. HSed kids, I've found in general, tend to play, interact, and get along with kids of all age group, not just their own. My boys rank in the 95th percentile in their national tests, do volunteer work, play basketball, are in scouts, hate racism/sexism of all types, know how to do ALL house chores, can balance our check book, have a deep value of sex and marrage, say yes sir/mamm, and know kids from most races from our church, neighborhood, rec basketball, and other groups. This is true for nearly every HSer I know. I will never condemn a parent's choice to school their children by public, private, or home school means. But we HSers do feel most look at us as odd, convent-like, or sepatratist, and it's just not true. Relying on knowing one family's experience ("I know this one HSed girl who had no social skills..."), ignorance, and/or misinformation is just as wrong as saying public school kids are dumb and brainwashed. It's simpley not true. They're all valid means of education. That's what "diversity" is all about (right?), not just our narrow view of it. Just because something is different than what you do doesn't mean it's bad or of lower grade. This is a great thread and I'm glad it was started. Thanks!!
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Old 12-05-2006, 10:42 AM
Location: Just a few miles outside of St. Louis
1,921 posts, read 5,623,287 times
Reputation: 1251
My daughter went all the way through the public school system, graduating in 2000, and she turned out fine. I have no regrets with allowing her to have the public education. My son went through public school up until half-way through his sixth grade. He started to have ear problems, which eventually led to two surgeries. We simply could not keep up with his school work, and they started questioning whether I was letting him stay home. Needless to say, the school and I went 'round and 'round about the situation. I finally got fed up, and during the Christmas vacation, I walked in, gave them all of his books, told them I was pulling him out of school. So, began our adventure in homeschooling. What a learning experience it was, for both of us. He is a little shy, and quiet, and was not interested in many of the social things that went on, in our local homeschool group. I didn't push him, and he took his time, until the middle of high school. Since that time, he has made plenty of friends, and enjoys "hanging out". He goes to swing dance, and seems to be quite popular with the girls. We took the homeschooling year by year, and he did graduate, as a homeschooler. I've never regretted my decision, and he has turned out fine. Most homeschool families do very well, and it is a mistake to judge them, simply because they have chosen the homeschooling route. There is nothing wrong with having choices. What works for one family does not work for another. I tend to get a little defensive about it, because I have had people try to treat me and/or my son, as though we were too stupid or lazy to go the public school route. Both of my kids are very bright, intelligent, and caring human beings. They just simply had different educational experiences.

Last edited by CelticLady1; 12-05-2006 at 10:58 AM.. Reason: missed a word
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Old 12-05-2006, 03:50 PM
Location: north
45 posts, read 279,400 times
Reputation: 36
Default homeschool

I am so glad I read the last two posts, like I said earlier, I too pulled my son out of public school and am currently homeschooling. I will quit dragging my feet with the homeschool group, for this will only make it more positive for him. This has been a learning experience for him and myself. I would not trade it for the world. We are having fun, and believe it or not, I am learning along with him. Its great. My son is very shy, and sometimes it is misinterpreted. Hopefully this homeschool group will be a positive in his life.

Thank you for the positive post on homeschooling.
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