Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It's sad how it's considered "typical" for kids who were previously sponges to get mired down with the bureaucracy and absurdity of today's school system to the point that they begin to hate school and, later, learning.
We homeschooled the kids until middle school. Then they went to a Montessori school. My daughter (7th grade) has chosen to stay home now for the next two years and my son (9th grade) has chosen to go to high school. They have these options and so they can really immerse themselves in their interests and topics that they find fascinating. Granted, they still have to do math and vocabulary (at home, I mean), which are not so much fun, but at least the majority of the time, they like what they're doing.
I am not saying that you have to or should pull your daughter and bring her home! Many families do not have that option. But think about what the other options are. Is there another school she can try, preferably one that does not spend the year teaching them how to pass The Test? Maybe a democratic school or some other type of alternative? Before you write it off as too expensive, look into free charter schools and also scholarships for whatever private schools are in your area. Or talk to the principal of the current school and see what the options are. Is there a gifted program? Maybe some special enrichment class that she can take that might help to balance out all of the drudgery?
It's a shame for a smart child to become so burdened with boredom that they just shut down, and it sounds like this is what his happening with your daughter. Although you commonly hear the refrain, "but she should get used to being bored because that is life," I don't think that's really applicable. First, are most adults bored out of their minds every day? I hope not! Secondly, even if that is the case, kids dont need to spend 12 years practicing how to be bored so they can be good bored adults. That's just silly. See what you can do to modify the current situation by advocating for your child.
It's sad how it's considered "typical" for kids who were previously sponges to get mired down with the bureaucracy and absurdity of today's school system to the point that they begin to hate school and, later, learning.
Really, though, the OP didn't say anything about "bureaucracy and absurdity" miring anybody down. She's stated that her kid seems to be less enthusiastic, at this point, about learning opportunities that are not being presented in an electronic format, which seems to be what she sees as fun/entertaining/worthy of her attention. She's stated that her kid enjoyed school for a couple of years, and now finds increased expectations and shifts in subject matter content to be boring.
If a child has decided that anything that doesn't involve a particular type of entertainment, generally provided via an electronic device, to be "drudgery," it's likely that some less-than-beneficial habits, behavioral patterns, and attitudes have already been reinforced and allowed to become entrenched.
The issue at hand IS NOT that "kids should just accept that life is boring," it's that it's beneficial to raise and teach kids in such a manner that you are not reinforcing the erroneous message that if it doesn't have a touchscreen, it's by definition, boring, stupid, and/or uninteresting. Those are the kids who are DOOMED to be bored in life. Not the ones with constant exposure to a wide variety of new, disparate, interesting things, activities, subject matter, formats, etc.
Really, though, the OP didn't say anything about "bureaucracy and absurdity" miring anybody down. She's stated that her kid seems to be less enthusiastic, at this point, about learning opportunities that are not being presented in an electronic format, which seems to be what she sees as fun/entertaining/worthy of her attention. She's stated that her kid enjoyed school for a couple of years, and now finds increased expectations and shifts in subject matter content to be boring.
If a child has decided that anything that doesn't involve a particular type of entertainment, generally provided via an electronic device, to be "drudgery," it's likely that some less-than-beneficial habits, behavioral patterns, and attitudes have already been reinforced and allowed to become entrenched.
The issue at hand IS NOT that "kids should just accept that life is boring," it's that it's beneficial to raise and teach kids in such a manner that you are not reinforcing the erroneous message that if it doesn't have a touchscreen, it's by definition, boring, stupid, and/or uninteresting. Those are the kids who are DOOMED to be bored in life. Not the ones with constant exposure to a wide variety of new, disparate, interesting things, activities, subject matter, formats, etc.
Wanted to further clarify, AFAIK, I did not state that unless the learning opportunity is being presented in an electronic format that she is bored. This is really not an anti/pro electronics topic. She does not have to have the materials presented in an electronic format to be "interactive" (which is the word that I said). Interactive in kinder and first wasn't electronic at all. It was more "hands on".
Please don't misunderstand my post as having anything for or against electronic devices or even going down that road of excessive electronic usage. FWIW, 30+ years ago there weren't any electronic devices and I too at one point felt the same way she did. If she is anything like me, she really enjoyed things that she could do hands on or have more interaction with the teacher. You don't have to have a touchscreen to interact/be hands-on.
To clarify, too, I'm not in any way opposed to electronics being used as educational tools.
Overall, there's no way, without being there to observe, to tell precisely why your daughter found school reinforcing until second grade, and then suddenly became overwhelmingly disinterested by it, unfortunately. As far as how to motivate, motivation comes from both intrinsic and extrinsic positive reinforcement.
Punitive measures demonstrably do little to reinforce behavior, but positive reinforcement can, provided it is sufficiently valued and consistently accessible. One type of positive reinforcement, which others have mentioned, is a token economy system, where your kid is given something for exhibiting preferred behavior that they may then exchange for a desired item or experience. Whether that's getting paid money for certain grades, points toward earning something desired for x number of hours, minutes, days, whatever engaged in working on subject x, whatever. This can work to keep people behaviorally engaged. It may or may not make them love school/love learning. Just as you might go to a job you despise every day, because you earn a paycheck you value for doing so, your kid might buckle down and do the homework if they know they'll get paid x for y grade, but this isn't necessarily going to make them "love school," so it really depends on what your purpose is.
If you are aiming more to foster a genuine interest in learning than in just doing the work without balking, but not particularly deriving any intrinsic pleasure from learning, you have to look more at the intrinsic motivation. Kids like school when it's interesting to them. If it's not interesting to your kid, and it once was, the only answer is to find out why, and to examine ways that she could access more meaningful learning experiences. Not all teaching styles work equally well for all kids. She may have teachers whose methods aren't particularly engaging. I'm not saying blame the teacher, or that that means your kid is justified in screwing off if she's not feeling entertained, or anything like that. I'm just acknowledging that every style isn't optimum for every personality type, and sometimes, you just have to deal with that reality. As a parent, you can offset something like this by helping provide learning opportunities that ARE engaging. If I'm a hands-on, active kid, I may not enjoy sitting in the classroom reading about different types of trees, or even watching a video about different types of trees or playing a tree identification memory game on a tablet. But I might really enjoy going for a weekend nature hike, collecting some different kinds of leaves and needles, making rubbings with them, and bringing them in and showing them to my class and explaining the different kinds I found. Or, if I'm artistic, pressing them in a book, drying them, and turning them into a suncatcher or other art projects.
Kids who are easily bored or distracted often require more creative, interesting teaching techniques. No teacher is going to be able to be everything to all students, but parents know their kids and can supplement in ways that may strike a chord and make the child more interested in what's going on in school.
We have a lot of fields around here. My wife tells the kids if they don't want to go to school then they will have to work in the fields. If you have never picked strawberries for hours on end you have no idea how motivating that is to stay in school.
I hated math too. I also had severe undiagnosed ADD. That made math EXCRUCIATING. There was no story to hold my interest like there was in literature, history or even science. And for the record, despite being only diagnosed at nearly 30, I still managed to excel academically and graduate high school as the valedictorian.
I'd get her evaluated for any learning disabilities just to be sure. And I'd do what my parents did. School was my job. It was ingrained into my brain that my future success and freedom (with respect to choices and opportunity) was dependent on my academic success. And I was awarded privileges, extra cash, activities and toys based on how I did in school. I got a lot of Christmas and birthday gifts, but it wasn't some free-for-all bonanza - I knew the excess was there because I'd worked my tush off studying. (And let's face it - it was also because I was an only child.)
But yeah, school was my priority and my focus. It was my responsibility. As long as I worked hard and tried my best, I had a lot of great things come my way, but if I slacked off stuff got taken away.
Your info says Round Rock and she's learning Texas History, so unless she is in a private school somewhere, she should have just started school yesterday. I certainly would not base anything off one day, or even one week, in school which is typically used for getting everyone and everything settled.
If some time goes by and she keeps uttering those kind of sentiments, then I'd have a sit down meeting with her teacher and ask how she interacts during class. Perhaps she has a fine time and is only answering that way to you to get your reaction as it comes.
If the teacher, after some time, says she doesn't engage then ask her for more information as to what is going on and for suggestions to help on your end. Honestly, it's really the teacher who should be working on getting her engaged if it's an issue.
However, there are plenty of things you can do at home to help combat that answer she gives you whether or not it's accurate. For Texas History for instance, you are right at the heart of so much of Texas History. Take her to the Capital or the LBJ library which is ripe with Texas history. or head a couple hours south to San Antonia and visit the Alamo. Seeing these things in person will bring a different light to what she hears in class and likely cause her to talk about what she saw or learned there.
I hated math too. I also had severe undiagnosed ADD. That made math EXCRUCIATING. There was no story to hold my interest like there was in literature, history or even science. And for the record, despite being only diagnosed at nearly 30, I still managed to excel academically and graduate high school as the valedictorian.
I'd get her evaluated for any learning disabilities just to be sure. And I'd do what my parents did. School was my job. It was ingrained into my brain that my future success and freedom (with respect to choices and opportunity) was dependent on my academic success. And I was awarded privileges, extra cash, activities and toys based on how I did in school. I got a lot of Christmas and birthday gifts, but it wasn't some free-for-all bonanza - I knew the excess was there because I'd worked my tush off studying. (And let's face it - it was also because I was an only child.)
But yeah, school was my priority and my focus. It was my responsibility. As long as I worked hard and tried my best, I had a lot of great things come my way, but if I slacked off stuff got taken away.
I was about to mention ADHD. It is possible to be a genius and at the same time have 'spells' of inability to pay sufficient attention to her work. My premature daughter had problems that sound a lot like your daughter's. They don't necessarily manifest themselves at a specific time.
I hated math too. I also had severe undiagnosed ADD. That made math EXCRUCIATING. There was no story to hold my interest like there was in literature, history or even science. And for the record, despite being only diagnosed at nearly 30, I still managed to excel academically and graduate high school as the valedictorian.
I'd get her evaluated for any learning disabilities just to be sure. And I'd do what my parents did. School was my job. It was ingrained into my brain that my future success and freedom (with respect to choices and opportunity) was dependent on my academic success. And I was awarded privileges, extra cash, activities and toys based on how I did in school. I got a lot of Christmas and birthday gifts, but it wasn't some free-for-all bonanza - I knew the excess was there because I'd worked my tush off studying. (And let's face it - it was also because I was an only child.)
But yeah, school was my priority and my focus. It was my responsibility. As long as I worked hard and tried my best, I had a lot of great things come my way, but if I slacked off stuff got taken away.
Personally, I have no learning disabilities, but was also a very good, generally motivated student who struggled with math, and definitely struggled with staying positive about it and interested in it. I found it intimidating, felt behind and embarrassed, and avoided it. Then I felt MORE behind, and it snowballed. I never did enjoy it or find it rewarding or reinforcing. At most, I learned to do my best and tolerate it and get through it. Struggling in math was an isolated situation in my schooling, and it didn't affect my overall love of school or individual love of learning in other subjects. Learning was valued in my family, and academic success was reinforced with social praise, which was more valuable currency to me than many other sorts of reinforcement. It was always a given that my opportunities for college were greatly increased by my doing very well in school K-12, which was incentive enough for me, as was the idea of the consequence of losing a shot at the college opportunities that were important to me if I slacked off.
Because I generally loved school, it overall never felt overwhelmingly like a chore (some individual assignments, sure. But overall, no). It wasn't a chore, per se, but it was absolutely a focus and priority. For the most part, academics were where I was most able to shine, so that in and of itself was quite motivating. Being a really good student was and is part of my identity.
Spend more time with your child and parent them…stop wanting to be their friend!
This comment is not helpful. For starters, it doesn't mean anything. It's an empty phrase that is thrown around these boards by mean spirited people. Additionally, the OP is asking a question that very much proves that she wants to act in a way that improves her child's future. That is very much what a parent does.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
