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You're not off-base. However, as a teacher myself, I know that it can be challenging to sufficiently differentiate for all of your students. The teacher may be overwhelmed, who knows. What will get the school and teacher to pay attention is you having your son assessed by a neuropsychologist. These are the specialists who test students' learning skills. Don't frontload the visit by telling the doctor that your son has such and such skills and is bored. Just see what the assessment results are and if they match your own assessment. If so, set up a meeting with the teacher (explaining why) and take your results along. Ask how you can work together to make sure that your son is engaged at school. For his part, you could encourage him to do his best - behaviorally as well - so that she notices just how advanced he is.
I'll say this, and hold my peace after: this is not to declare that your child is not gifted or exceptional or inquisitive. However, it is VERY common to mistake young kids hitting developmental milestones early for giftedness. There is a big difference between performing at an advanced level for one's age, and being genuinely gifted. The latter usually involves the former, but the former often does not involve the latter, and there's not a good way to be sure until the child is older, as the intelligence tests and skill batteries used by diagnosticians tend to reward abstract thinking, which is very much tied into neurological development that comes with maturing. Be careful not to wrap up too much of your own self-worth or the child's sense of identity in being "the smart one." I've seen a number of those kids crash hard once things level out in preadolescence, because they're not accustomed to being around average. There are more persistent virtues and attributes that it can be more psychologically healthy and developmentally appropriate to focus on.
I am not saying not to advocate for the child. But you seem very hyperfocused and reluctant to consider alternative scenarios. If you make all your interactions with the school about how far above everyone else he is, it may backfire in the long run.
Well, what they're doing now is stuff that he was happily, of his own accord, doing in workbooks about two and three years back, I think at least. Some stuff, like counting to 100 he was doing before he was three. So it's not just that he's a bit ahead and they're repeating some stuff he already knows, it's going back to a level of a three year old for him - which, as you would agree, is a HUGE difference from six.
Maybe, maybe not. Lot of children can count to high numbers without having strong numeracy, particularly children who were early talkers. It can be like being able to sing a song without understanding what the lyrics mean. There is a difference between being able to count to one hundred, and being able to conceptualize what one hundred means. Et cetera. Sure, it's possible your kid learned all this from workbooks or whatever. But you might consider that the possibility of a bigger picture, too.
You're right.
The reason I posted here in the first place because this forum is fairly active, with lots of folks who have worked in teaching or education, so I was hoping to maybe get good advice beyond armchair psychoanalysis for myself.
I have read some gifted-parent boards but they seem to be sort of dead for the most part, with lots of parents like myself coming on to write about their kids and challenges but no one actually responding with valuable feedback or answers.
Sadly, that is an issue on all message boards. As someone with a little background in psychiatric nursing (not much, mind you) it drives me batty! (No pun intended)
LOL. Why do people on here love assumptions and conjecture so much?
The reason I even remembered this thread is because his statement about not liking school took me by surprise. Up until then I assumed he enjoyed it, and I was very happy about his social progress - and honestly it was enough for me at this point. Trust when I say that I have not, in any way, shape or form indicated to him that I'm displeased with what he's doing in school - in fact I wasn't even really displeased. I have said nothing to him about school except only positive and encouraging feedback. Seriously. It was him saying this that sort of came out of the blue that really upset me.
Again, my expectations are not the issue here at all. I don't care what he's learning there or isn't, as long as he he's happy and eager to go. He gets plenty of development opportunities at home.
All that bothers me is his own perception of school, his potential boredom, and all the negative consequences it may lead to down the road - from acting out and goofing off, to underperformance, to the potential risk of school refusal down to the road. I pray none of it will happen, but being continually understimulated for a kid that needs stimulation cannot lead to good things
Read any basic psychology or research on gifted kids to see that these are all very real and common issues, and not something I made up as a crazy helicopter mom. Geez.
Ignore all the people who say that he's learning something, if he hates school it's your fault, you're projecting, etc. etc. There is no reason for a child to spend an entire day at school and learning very little academically. Kids who do that do end up hating school very often because they feel there is no reason for them to be there. Unfortunately, many schools no longer care about the higher performing kids as they're already going to pass the standardized tests. All the money and attention goes to the lower performing kids. My suggestion? Don't let him go another year sitting at his desk learning nothing and being multiple grade levels ahead because it'll likely end badly.
You son sounds like my niece in Kindergarten. She's now in advanced classes in junior high and still experiencing this. Do not let it get to that point.
Sadly, that is an issue on all message boards. As someone with a little background in psychiatric nursing (not much, mind you) it drives me batty! (No pun intended)
Developmental psych and special education background, here.
I always love it when people figure you have zero background or credibility to back up what you are saying. Shocker, some people actually can speak with authority on development, psychology, and learning, because they've extensively studied, earned degrees, and worked in fields where such topics are integral. That said, if it makes people feel better to dismiss anything they don't want to hear/don't agree with as "armchair psychoanalysis," hey, their prerogative. Like the previous poster said, "Ignore all the people with whom you disagree."
Developmental psych and special education background, here.
I always love it when people figure you have zero background or credibility to back up what you are saying. Shocker, some people actually can speak with authority on development, psychology, and learning, because they've extensively studied, earned degrees, and worked in fields where such topics are integral. That said, if it makes people feel better to dismiss anything they don't want to hear/don't agree with as "armchair psychoanalysis," hey, their prerogative. Like the previous poster said, "Ignore all the people with whom you disagree."
Well, I have plenty of developmental psych experience, having worked in pediatrics most of my 40+ year career. Not so much with adults, though. But I hate this armchair psychoanalysis that people do on boards. Most real psychologists, etc will not make a diagnosis based on a post on City-Data or any other forum for that matter.
Totally agree that nobody should be making any type of diagnosis without actually performing an intake or consultation, and no trained therapist would, without breaching his or her ethics code.
But those speaking from a background of knowledge and experience are typically dismissed, because somebody wants to rant and only be agreed with and told, "You're so right."
Totally agree that nobody should be making any type of diagnosis without actually performing an intake or consultation, and no trained therapist would, without breaching his or her ethics code.
But those speaking from a background of knowledge and experience are typically dismissed, because somebody wants to rant and only be agreed with and told, "You're so right."
EThics aside, no specialist would conclude anything just from reading some posts online about a specific topic, without knowing the person, their family, circumstances, personality, or anything about them. The people who love most to read between the lines, make assumptions, label, and search for hidden motives that have nothing to do with the person's original question tend, in fact, to be little more than armchair psychologists - regardless of their professional credentials.
To give an example...this is sort of like coming on the work and employment board to ask how to work towards a more fulfilling and better paying career because your current job isn't, and be told that career fulfillment doesn't matter, you should just chill and be happy where you are, and that plenty of smart people are perfectly happy and fulfilled in spite of crappy low-paying jobs. Maybe true, but does that help the person at hand?
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