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Old 05-14-2017, 08:31 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
24,204 posts, read 19,191,156 times
Reputation: 38266

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Quote:
Originally Posted by historyfan View Post
The old rule of thumb for school attendance is to be at least 6 years 6 months old on the first day of 1st grade. There are many factors contributing to a good educational experience. Emotional & physical maturity are just as important as being academically ready. This might not become a big deal until your child reaches junior high or high school. I would wait.
I have never heard of this so-called rule and pretty much no school has either because with your math, the kindergarten cut off would need to be 5 years 6 months, meaning a cut off date of March or April in the spring before kindergarten, rather than the normal dates that are usually August through October. There isn't a single state that has a date the previous spring.

Kindergarten Entrance Age

 
Old 05-14-2017, 08:44 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
90,297 posts, read 120,694,120 times
Reputation: 35920
Quote:
Originally Posted by pobre View Post
I did NOT say EVERY young child is less mature. I said that is was easy to tell, especially when in a classroom setting.

I don't have a "attitude" towards parents. Those are actual quotes from several of our Kinder parents. It is not all Kinder parents, but several have said that to our Kinder teachers at Kinder Round-Up, as well as to our Principal.

In the case I mentioned, the prematurity is an issue, as he should have been born in October, and would not have made the cutoff. His chronological age made him eligible, but his corrected age would have had him enter a year later.Coupled with the issues that I mentioned he had been having since Kindergarten, makes me worry about his future. He will continue to struggle.
You do not understand what I meant about prematurity. By age 2 -
3, the child has basically caught up with his/ her chronological age. It's like he should have been born in August.
FAQ
 
Old 05-15-2017, 12:34 AM
 
Location: Eugene, Oregon
11,120 posts, read 5,583,894 times
Reputation: 16596
Quote:
Originally Posted by leasoap View Post
DS turns 5 on August 5th and the cutoff in our area is September 1st. He should be starting Kindergarten in the fall, but his preschool teachers have been advising me to wait a year. Even though we can financially afford another year of pre-school, I really want to send him on time.

For me, it's long-term, not short-term. Redshirting means that he'll still be in high school when he's 18. It also means that he'll start his career a year later than most people. Yes, I know some people are going to talk about Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers, but as a parent, I feel like it's my duty to teach DS that he doesn't need trophies or to always be the best in order to be happy.

I also want him to fit in and not feel out of place. I can only imagine how awkward it would feel for him to be 6, while some of his classmates are still 4, 7 while some of his classmates are still 5, etc. His classmates might think there's something wrong with him if was a year older than them, and I'd hate for him to have a bad reputation for something that was not his decision, but ours.

Also, I strongly believe that the cutoff dates are there for a reason. If kids born in August kids truly weren't ready to start Kindergarten at 5, the cutoff would be earlier. The people laying the cutoffs have done thorough studies to figure out when kids should start Kindergarten. They know what they're talking about and I feel like it would be arrogant to act as if I knew better.

You have given us no information about the academic and social aspects of your son's situation. What reasons have preschool teachers given, for thinking he might not be ready for Kindergarten? We can't make specific comments, unless we know those things. I'm not generally in favor of holding anyone back in their schooling, but there are always exceptions, if there's good cause.
 
Old 05-15-2017, 07:41 AM
 
Location: Morrisville, NC
9,144 posts, read 14,753,437 times
Reputation: 9070
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
I would listen carefully to the reasons that the preschool teachers are giving you for wanting to wait a year. I wouldn't blindly follow their advice but I would give a lot of weigh to it because they see him every day in school. So much of school success is social and if your child is the youngest in the class he may be having social issues that will affect him academically. Ask them why they feel the way they do and really listen to their answers.



If it is long term then you really need to think long term. Redshirting in K is not about trophies. It is about allowing kids the time they need to be successful. The cutoffs work for MOST kids but not for all of them. If yours needs more time give him more time.

Lots of kids are 18 in high school. My oldest turned 18 in February of his senior year. My youngest turned 18 in March of his senior year. Neither of them were held back. Both of them have friends who are graduated/are graduating at 19.

My middle didn't turn 18 until after he graduated. Overall he has done well in college but his elementary years were rough in some ways. I think it would have been easier if we had given him another year of preschool.

I can't tell you what to do with your child but I would not use "what other people will think" as the reason to send him to K on time. Most of the reasons you gave have to do with other people, not your child. Please use your child and his needs to make your decision.
As someone who was born in mid September and made the cutoff barely, this is the the answer.

Me, I always had trouble socially in school. I was always the youngest in class. Feeling left out by kids, feeling much more at ease with people a year behind me in high school, last to be able to drive, etc. Evidently my parents even thought of holding me back a year in like 2nd or 3rd grade but decided against it because I was academically gifted and always scoring high on standardized tests. Well, real life is much more about feeling comfortable socially than it is about taking tests. I've gradually worked through much of this and turned out mostly OK, but I'd say this had a lot to do with my lack of success going to college as well. Never felt comfortable right out of high school.
 
Old 05-15-2017, 07:53 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
90,297 posts, read 120,694,120 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sherifftruman View Post
As someone who was born in mid September and made the cutoff barely, this is the the answer.

Me, I always had trouble socially in school. I was always the youngest in class. Feeling left out by kids, feeling much more at ease with people a year behind me in high school, last to be able to drive, etc. Evidently my parents even thought of holding me back a year in like 2nd or 3rd grade but decided against it because I was academically gifted and always scoring high on standardized tests. Well, real life is much more about feeling comfortable socially than it is about taking tests. I've gradually worked through much of this and turned out mostly OK, but I'd say this had a lot to do with my lack of success going to college as well. Never felt comfortable right out of high school.
The thing is, there are lots of kids who have trouble socially at school. They aren't all the youngest in their classes, either. It's a bit of a stretch to blame being sent to kindergarten young with lack of success in college, where age isn't such a big issue.
 
Old 05-15-2017, 09:13 AM
 
Location: Florida
7,195 posts, read 5,722,107 times
Reputation: 12342
Age is still an issue in college. There's a difference between a 17 year old and an 18 year old in terms of maturity. I was 17 when I graduated from high school and would have been a 17-year-old freshman in college, but I chose to defer for a couple of years. I just wasn't ready to be that responsible for myself. At 19, I moved out and was able to juggle college, a full-time job, and, at 20, being a wife as well. There was tons of growth happening during those two years.

My own son is 16 and I can't imagine that in one year he'd be ready to go away to school. He is a sophomore, so he has just over two years before he would be in the position to do so anyway.
 
Old 05-15-2017, 10:40 AM
 
Location: Central IL
20,726 posts, read 16,352,228 times
Reputation: 50372
Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy in Wyoming View Post
When anyone is a year behind, people assume that he is stupid and was refused promotion.. It will follow him the rest of his life.
Really? So how does this work for all the wealthy parents who do it and STILL manage to have that leg up on other kids and college and even later, with employers?

It's only a problem when kids get held back because they "flunked" because ALL the kids know about that.
 
Old 05-15-2017, 10:49 AM
 
16,715 posts, read 19,400,390 times
Reputation: 41487
Quote:
Originally Posted by leasoap View Post
as a parent, I feel like it's my duty to teach DS that he doesn't need trophies or to always be the best in order to be happy
So you'd rather he always be behind, and seen as slow to the other kids? I wished my parents had held me back; I struggled through school.

I would listen to the teachers; they're the ones that have been with your child most of the day, 5 days a week.
 
Old 05-15-2017, 10:54 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
90,297 posts, read 120,694,120 times
Reputation: 35920
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherTouchOfWhimsy View Post
Age is still an issue in college. There's a difference between a 17 year old and an 18 year old in terms of maturity. I was 17 when I graduated from high school and would have been a 17-year-old freshman in college, but I chose to defer for a couple of years. I just wasn't ready to be that responsible for myself. At 19, I moved out and was able to juggle college, a full-time job, and, at 20, being a wife as well. There was tons of growth happening during those two years.

My own son is 16 and I can't imagine that in one year he'd be ready to go away to school. He is a sophomore, so he has just over two years before he would be in the position to do so anyway.
Several points:

The OP is not talking about sending her son early; she's discussing whether to send him "on time" or to "red-shirt" him. While there is a difference in the same child between 17 and 18, that does not necessarily mean that all 18 year olds are more mature than all 17 year olds. There are probably more differences in "maturity" among 17 year olds and among 18 year olds than between the two groups, ie, some 17 year olds are very mature and some aren't; ditto 18 year olds.

This kid will not be entering college at 17 unless he starts before his August birthday.

It is always hard for parents to picture their high school students off at college. BTDT. You get used to it, in fact, you're usually ready for it when it happens.

Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
So you'd rather he always be behind, and seen as slow to the other kids? I wished my parents had held me back; I struggled through school.

I would listen to the teachers; they're the ones that have been with your child most of the day, 5 days a week.
That is a real logic fallacy; the OP didn't say the bold.

Last edited by Katarina Witt; 05-15-2017 at 11:06 AM..
 
Old 05-15-2017, 10:54 AM
 
16,715 posts, read 19,400,390 times
Reputation: 41487
Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy in Wyoming View Post
When anyone is a year behind, people assume that he is stupid and was refused promotion.. It will follow him the rest of his life.
Oh please. It will not.
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