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Old 05-13-2017, 02:30 PM
 
2 posts, read 1,637 times
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DS turns 5 on August 5th and the cutoff in our area is September 1st. He should be starting Kindergarten in the fall, but his preschool teachers have been advising me to wait a year. Even though we can financially afford another year of pre-school, I really want to send him on time.

For me, it's long-term, not short-term. Redshirting means that he'll still be in high school when he's 18. It also means that he'll start his career a year later than most people. Yes, I know some people are going to talk about Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers, but as a parent, I feel like it's my duty to teach DS that he doesn't need trophies or to always be the best in order to be happy.

I also want him to fit in and not feel out of place. I can only imagine how awkward it would feel for him to be 6, while some of his classmates are still 4, 7 while some of his classmates are still 5, etc. His classmates might think there's something wrong with him if was a year older than them, and I'd hate for him to have a bad reputation for something that was not his decision, but ours.

Also, I strongly believe that the cutoff dates are there for a reason. If kids born in August kids truly weren't ready to start Kindergarten at 5, the cutoff would be earlier. The people laying the cutoffs have done thorough studies to figure out when kids should start Kindergarten. They know what they're talking about and I feel like it would be arrogant to act as if I knew better.

 
Old 05-13-2017, 02:39 PM
 
17,183 posts, read 22,758,557 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leasoap View Post
DS turns 5 on August 5th and the cutoff in our area is September 1st. He should be starting Kindergarten in the fall, but his preschool teachers have been advising me to wait a year. Even though we can financially afford another year of pre-school, I really want to send him on time.

For me, it's long-term, not short-term. Redshirting means that he'll still be in high school when he's 18. It also means that he'll start his career a year later than most people. Yes, I know some people are going to talk about Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers, but as a parent, I feel like it's my duty to teach DS that he doesn't need trophies or to always be the best in order to be happy.

I also want him to fit in and not feel out of place. I can only imagine how awkward it would feel for him to be 6, while some of his classmates are still 4, 7 while some of his classmates are still 5, etc. His classmates might think there's something wrong with him if was a year older than them, and I'd hate for him to have a bad reputation for something that was not his decision, but ours.

Also, I strongly believe that the cutoff dates are there for a reason. If kids born in August kids truly weren't ready to start Kindergarten at 5, the cutoff would be earlier. The people laying the cutoffs have done thorough studies to figure out when kids should start Kindergarten. They know what they're talking about and I feel like it would be arrogant to act as if I knew better.
If he is not ready for K, then redshirting is a good idea. This is very individual. Why are his preK teachers saying he should wait? Is he socially immature? Is he academically a bit behind? In both cases, it is a good thing to redshirt. Note that many children today are redshirted, so it is unlikely that he will be much older than other K kids.

Lots of kids are 18 in their senior year of high school. It does not make much difference. Why do you want to rush him? His classmates will not think anything of this because the ages are all very close.

There is NO study that shows kids should be in K by a particular age and more and more districts are moving the cutoff date earlier so that kids are older starting. In some states the cutoff date is December 30 or Jan 1. In most of those states, the date is being moved to September because the younger children are often not ready. Kindergarten is now doing first grade curriculum and there is less time to play. Often recess is less than it used to be and most kids need more recess than the schools provide.

All in all, I would say listen to his preK teachers and see why they think that this is a good idea.
 
Old 05-13-2017, 02:42 PM
 
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Go with your gut. My son is near cut off and if we had red shirted we would miss out on services for my son who is autistic and will need post high school services through our school district. Plus, my older daughter is friend's with a girl who is almost a year older and holding this girl back didn't give her any advantage. You see a lot of red shirting in wealthier schools because parents can afford to do this but not sure he much it helps in the long run.
 
Old 05-13-2017, 03:14 PM
 
Location: STL area
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We didn't do it. DS was very bright, academically ready but slightly immature. It's not been totally smooth sailing but we don't regret it either. He's a mid July birthday with an Aug 1 cutoff. If he had not been ready I would have held him. There are kids more than a year older than him so that isn't really a big deal. There is also 1 kid younger than he is in his small private school class. He has ADHD inattentive type, which we knew in preschool and a learning disability that we were able to treat earlier because he wasn't hiding it behind his high IQ as he would have been able to if he'd been held back. It would have shown up later and been treated later. That close to the cutoff you just have to look at your own kid. An involved parent will generally make either decision work.
 
Old 05-13-2017, 03:17 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
90,316 posts, read 120,179,658 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nana053 View Post
If he is not ready for K, then redshirting is a good idea. This is very individual. Why are his preK teachers saying he should wait? Is he socially immature? Is he academically a bit behind? In both cases, it is a good thing to redshirt. Note that many children today are redshirted, so it is unlikely that he will be much older than other K kids.

Lots of kids are 18 in their senior year of high school. It does not make much difference. Why do you want to rush him? His classmates will not think anything of this because the ages are all very close.

There is NO study that shows kids should be in K by a particular age and more and more districts are moving the cutoff date earlier so that kids are older starting. In some states the cutoff date is December 30 or Jan 1. In most of those states, the date is being moved to September because the younger children are often not ready. Kindergarten is now doing first grade curriculum and there is less time to play. Often recess is less than it used to be and most kids need more recess than the schools provide.

All in all, I would say listen to his preK teachers and see why they think that this is a good idea.
And the red-shirting continues. With a December 31 cut-off, people red-shirted kids with fall birthdays. When the cut-off was moved to September, summer birthday kids got red-shirted. I've even heard of some places with a July cut-off, which would mean spring red-shirting. How long is this going to go on?

I think lots of pre-school teachers just buy into the meme that these kids should be held back. I'd ask the pre-school teachers why they think the child should be red-shirted.

Didn't we just discuss this a few weeks ago?
 
Old 05-13-2017, 03:18 PM
 
Location: So Ca
26,580 posts, read 26,455,782 times
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Lots of info here: //www.city-data.com/forum/educa...d-threads.html
 
Old 05-13-2017, 03:28 PM
 
Location: My beloved Bluegrass
20,098 posts, read 16,018,813 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leasoap View Post
DS turns 5 on August 5th and the cutoff in our area is September 1st. He should be starting Kindergarten in the fall, but his preschool teachers have been advising me to wait a year. Even though we can financially afford another year of pre-school, I really want to send him on time.
These are people who are very familiar with your child's functioning in a school type of environment and who also see lots of other children his age. If they say he is not ready you probably need to listen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by leasoap View Post
For me, it's long-term, not short-term. Redshirting means that he'll still be in high school when he's 18. It also means that he'll start his career a year later than most people. Yes, I know some people are going to talk about Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers, but as a parent, I feel like it's my duty to teach DS that he doesn't need trophies or to always be the best in order to be happy.

I also want him to fit in and not feel out of place. I can only imagine how awkward it would feel for him to be 6, while some of his classmates are still 4, 7 while some of his classmates are still 5, etc. His classmates might think there's something wrong with him if was a year older than them, and I'd hate for him to have a bad reputation for something that was not his decision, but ours.
Most grades in school span at minimum 3-4 ages. A typical 6th grade class will have many 11 and 12-year olds at the beginning of the year, which will shift to mostly 12-year olds as the school year progresses. The class will also contain 10-year olds and 13-year olds. I assure you, your "redshirted" August baby will not be the oldest kid in his class at any time throughout his school career.

Quote:
Originally Posted by leasoap View Post
Also, I strongly believe that the cutoff dates are there for a reason. If kids born in August kids truly weren't ready to start Kindergarten at 5, the cutoff would be earlier. The people laying the cutoffs have done thorough studies to figure out when kids should start Kindergarten. They know what they're talking about and I feel like it would be arrogant to act as if I knew better.
Frankly, they are there mainly to prevent parents from sending them too young. There is an upper age at which children must be in school, but it is over a year beyond the "typical" age. Males tend to be ready for formal schooling later than females.

What reason have they given that they think he needs to wait?
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Old 05-13-2017, 03:30 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,063 posts, read 106,896,974 times
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OP, we've had several threads on this exact topic in the last few months. Use the search function to bring them up. I think you'll find all the material there you'll need to make a decision.

And btw, you're exaggerating how "awkward" any kid would feel, having younger classmates. They don't even notice, trust me. This is a non-issue.
 
Old 05-13-2017, 03:35 PM
 
11,642 posts, read 23,806,553 times
Reputation: 12270
Quote:
Originally Posted by leasoap View Post
He should be starting Kindergarten in the fall, but his preschool teachers have been advising me to wait a year. X
I would listen carefully to the reasons that the preschool teachers are giving you for wanting to wait a year. I wouldn't blindly follow their advice but I would give a lot of weigh to it because they see him every day in school. So much of school success is social and if your child is the youngest in the class he may be having social issues that will affect him academically. Ask them why they feel the way they do and really listen to their answers.

Quote:
Originally Posted by leasoap View Post
For me, it's long-term, not short-term. Redshirting means that he'll still be in high school when he's 18. It also means that he'll start his career a year later than most people. Yes, I know some people are going to talk about Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers, but as a parent, I feel like it's my duty to teach DS that he doesn't need trophies or to always be the best in order to be happy.
If it is long term then you really need to think long term. Redshirting in K is not about trophies. It is about allowing kids the time they need to be successful. The cutoffs work for MOST kids but not for all of them. If yours needs more time give him more time.

Lots of kids are 18 in high school. My oldest turned 18 in February of his senior year. My youngest turned 18 in March of his senior year. Neither of them were held back. Both of them have friends who are graduated/are graduating at 19.

My middle didn't turn 18 until after he graduated. Overall he has done well in college but his elementary years were rough in some ways. I think it would have been easier if we had given him another year of preschool.

I can't tell you what to do with your child but I would not use "what other people will think" as the reason to send him to K on time. Most of the reasons you gave have to do with other people, not your child. Please use your child and his needs to make your decision.
 
Old 05-13-2017, 04:38 PM
 
Location: East Coast
4,235 posts, read 3,674,474 times
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I've been thinking about and reading about this issue for 13 years because it frequently came up in a parenting group I'm in. Then I had a baby on September 1. From the moment I heard the due date was 9/2, my first thought was "what will I do about Kindergarten?"

My personal inclination was to start my 9/1 baby on time - when he had just turned 5. I felt like it was a wasted year at the other end -- he'd be 19 when he went to college, when he could have gone at 18. And I remember when I was 18, I was SOOOOOO ready to get outta Dodge and onto college, where I had the greatest 4 years of my life. And when I was a kid, the cutoff was 12/31, my birthday was in June, and I was perfectly in the middle. I actually felt bad for kids who lived in other places but couldn't start when they were 5 because they had birthdays in October, November, or December, and the cutoff in their school district was sometime in September.

People used to ask me if I was going to redshirt my June baby. I was like, WTF? His birthday is in June. And for my frame of reference, also having a June birthday, no way did I even consider it a possibility. That June baby, though, was always very mature. Even at 4, I thought that if K had been that year, he would have been ready. And he went on time and was and has been fine.

But, for that 9/1 baby, he was a totally different story. He was nowhere near as mature. Even when he was turning 5, I worried about his readiness.

Every single person I ever heard give advice said to hold back. Every educator. And almost every parent. I heard from lots of parents who started kids on the early end and said things were more or less okay in elementary, but in middle school, differences really started to emerge, and they found their children were about a year behind their friends socially and in maturity. They regretted sending the kids early and thought they'd have done better with another year.

Also, SO many people redshirt these days (for perceived advantages in sports - especially scholarships to colleges, and also for perceived academic advantages.) So, if you start your kid on time/early, in some areas, they could actually be almost 2 YEARS younger than some other kids in the class, which just exacerbates the advantages.

The biggest downside to starting your kid a year later is thinking, "I guess they would have been fine if I'd started him a year earlier." BUT, the downside to starting early can be intense problems, especially in K and 1, and even the possibility of having to repeat a grade, which is essentially the worst case scenario.

We knew a family who had kids who were almost two years apart -- one born in November, and then a later one born in September, two years later. The younger one, born in September, missed the cutoff of 9/1 in the district. But, it surprised me (because one of the parents was a teacher), that they had him tested to start early (and get a special exemption.) His mom said that he was clearly smart enough and ready, because he used to sit next to his brother every night and do the same homework along with the brother and got it all right.

Then, I heard that that kid had to repeat 5th grade. The school found his behavior so bad that they would not move him onto 6th. And part of this was due to the starting early and all the extra effort the teachers had to give this kid (at the expense of the rest of the class, I might add.) This kid was intelligent enough to do the work, but his lack of maturity really hurt him. And now the poor kid had the social trauma and stigma of not being allowed to go on to 6th grade with all the kids he'd been with for his whole elementary school career.

I had my 9/1 baby do a year at a private K (that was at the daycare he had attended). Because I just wasn't sure what to do. I didn't feel he was really socially or emotionally ready for K. And for the first few months I was so glad I did because he used to cry and carry on about going to school -- had he done that at the bus stop for the regular school, I don't think he would have gotten on the bus. He then did well, and at the end of the year, I had the dilemma again -- do I put him in first? Or do I have him go to K at the public school?

I asked his teacher, and she said he'd be fine. Academically, he did great and had mastered all the material. He still was a little emotionally immature, and she said he would likely have a bit of a rough adjustment, but that he would be fine. I thought and thought, but decided to put him in K. I just felt safer that way. I'm still not certain it was right, but again, I felt the worst downside to sending late was minor compared to the worst downside of sending early. We ended up moving halfway through the K year, and we had a few week school gap, because our new district wouldn't let us start too far before moving into the house. So, i was actually glad that he was in the middle of K, and didn't worry at all about him missing any of the academic stuff. He's finishing up first grade, and is doing really well -- especially academically. I do think that starting him right at first may have been overwhelming. Especially because, as much as anything, K is an introduction to the school rhythm itself, and a lot of kids who go right to first from a private K (especially ones that are affiliated with a daycare they'd attended since infants), have rougher adjustments.

In your case, especially since your preschool teacher is advising you to wait, I think you should wait. If everyone was saying your child was very mature and totally ready for K, I'd likely say the opposite. But it is a big thing that his current teacher is advising waiting. He will NOT be the oldest in his class.
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