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My nieces were bullied a little in school a few weeks ago, most of it though took place on social media. Their father passed away a few years ago and being they are my wife’s sisters daughters, in certain situations I’ve taken role of Dad, mostly school stuff, their mom isn’t dumb, she’s street smart but not much into education ( I’m no genius either).
Anyway when I found out who the kids were I phoned the parents to let them know what was going on, most were receptive, only two out of the 9 gave me difficulties. My real point of contention though wasn’t just the bullying, it was not knowing the family of the kids that were being bullied, as I said earlier my brother in law died a few years ago and although he knew right from wrong, he didn’t care, he spent numerous years behind bars on and off, and probably should have been a lifer except for a few technicalities. While I tried to explain to the parents what probably would have happened to them had he been alive, I think the translation was lost.
So today one of the parents did call me because they found out the Dad still has family in the area, after he did a background check he’s thinking about moving, lol. I told him as I told the principal of the school that somehow not knowing the family of person you are bullying, should make you wanna think twice, and that should be taught in the bullying seminars, classes, etc.... it fell on deaf ears.
As grown ups I get it, that’s kids stuff, “ Your Dad is gonna beat up my dad”, unfortunately, that wasn’t the case with my brother in law. He would of started off with taking the families pet, skinned it, then brought it back, and that’s just the start.
Bullying is cruel. It often occurs "under the radar" or blatantly in front of authority figures who don't care.
I played HS football and wrestling back in the 80s. I saw a huge amount of bullying on the football
field and the mat room. Extreme mismatches were common with athletic differences due to (1) size,
(2) speed, (3) strength, or (4) advanced training. Wrestling was horrible because the bullies on the
team had over ten years of experience by their senior year in HS. They would typically bully the
freshmen and sophomores who were barely starting out. Football was the same way. In both cases,
the coaches usually didn't care, and the teens knew it so they just kept doing it until it caught up with
them in other ways.
What I witnessed was "karma" - "What goes around comes around". One of the state champion HS
wrestlers was an extreme bully who also was the fullback. He had ridiculously hateful mood swings
and was racist against the Mexicans and Native Americans - a white supremacist with blonde hair and
blue eyes like that teen villain on "Karate Kid". One day in football practice we were going through
a scrimmage and got to a goal line stand. I remember blocking out the guy in front of me, so there
was a gap to my left. And the bully wrestler went through that gap to attempt the touch down.
But just at that moment a tall Cherokee Indian grabbed his leg by surprise. It tore the bully's knee
really badly and he instantly started crying badly. He had to be helped off the field and he cried
the whole way in extreme obvious pain. The bully had been trying to earn a college football
scholarship and another state HS wrestling championship. The injury destroyed his career. He
failed in both. I saw other examples of that "karma".
So just remember what goes around comes around. The teen world is cruel, but it often caves in
on itself.
Bullying is cruel. It often occurs "under the radar" or blatantly in front of authority figures who don't care.
I played HS football and wrestling back in the 80s. I saw a huge amount of bullying on the football
field and the mat room. Extreme mismatches were common with athletic differences due to (1) size,
(2) speed, (3) strength, or (4) advanced training. Wrestling was horrible because the bullies on the
team had over ten years of experience by their senior year in HS. They would typically bully the
freshmen and sophomores who were barely starting out. Football was the same way. In both cases,
the coaches usually didn't care, and the teens knew it so they just kept doing it until it caught up with
them in other ways.
What I witnessed was "karma" - "What goes around comes around". One of the state champion HS
wrestlers was an extreme bully who also was the fullback. He had ridiculously hateful mood swings
and was racist against the Mexicans and Native Americans - a white supremacist with blonde hair and
blue eyes like that teen villain on "Karate Kid". One day in football practice we were going through
a scrimmage and got to a goal line stand. I remember blocking out the guy in front of me, so there
was a gap to my left. And the bully wrestler went through that gap to attempt the touch down.
But just at that moment a tall Cherokee Indian grabbed his leg by surprise. It tore the bully's knee
really badly and he instantly started crying badly. He had to be helped off the field and he cried
the whole way in extreme obvious pain. The bully had been trying to earn a college football
scholarship and another state HS wrestling championship. The injury destroyed his career. He
failed in both. I saw other examples of that "karma".
So just remember what goes around comes around. The teen world is cruel, but it often caves in
on itself.
I saw that type of karma, too. We had a bully in our neighborhood. We did used to taunt him singing, "The Scotty potty twist. He does it with his fist. He twists so hard he shakes like lard. The Scotty potty twist." But, I digress. The day he turned 18 -- at that time the legal drinking age in NYS -- he went to a bar, got into a fight, and got his jaw broken so badly that it had to all be wired. There is karma...at least sometimes.
We aren't supposed to say things like this any more but I believe the best way to prevent bullying is for your child to be a hard target.
I was bullied extensively. It stopped, on a dime, when I hit early adolescence and something changed in my psychology. Before, I would just slink off. After, I would go into full-on red-haze murderous rage and scream and curse and pick up bricks and baseball bats. Almost instantly, the tormentors learned that picking on me now meant a big hassle. Would I have won a straightup fistfight? Probably not with any of them. But the bully is not looking for a challenge; he is looking for an easy target that doesn't fight back.
Teach your children that when someone tries to pick on them, they are to fight back using both physical force and mental force (bullies really hate to be ridiculed by smarter kids in front of a crowd). The bully will learn that the child is a hard target, and will just move on to an easier one.
When all you want to see is a bully, that's all you see.
OP made threats? BS, and that Anyone would think that makes me realize we are much further into Idiocracy than I'd realized. Someone saying "hey people, when your kids bully, they open doors. Sometimes there are unstable people behind those doors who react like for like" is neither threat, nor bullying. It is a flat out statement. It's true weather said or not, and would be MUCH better said.
But, sadly, because adults are pansies who are more worried with PC culture than anything else, it will take a few (not just one, but Several) cases of just what the OP was talking about. Unstable/criminal family member of bullied kid simply goes out and cuts off pinky fingers, guts/skins animals, breaks bones/noses, etc... Pretending it won't happen, or that it won't be in your back yard, is ignorance at its finest.
Anyway when I found out who the kids were I phoned the parents to let them know what was going on, most were receptive, only two out of the 9 gave me difficulties. My real point of contention though wasn’t just the bullying, it was not knowing the family of the kids that were being bullied, as I said earlier my brother in law died a few years ago and although he knew right from wrong, he didn’t care, he spent numerous years behind bars on and off, and probably should have been a lifer except for a few technicalities. While I tried to explain to the parents what probably would have happened to them had he been alive, I think the translation was lost. .
Why would you bring up your deceased brother-in law to discuss your child being bullied? That's not relevant at all and of course, I'm sure perhaps the parents thought that strange. This is not the way to deal with bullying. Address the issue itself, don't bring up other stuff. Although I was bullied myself as a child, I don't think making vague threats is the way to deal with this.
There isn't a person I know that haven't been bullied. Hell, most of my friends and relatives formed or joined gangs due to being bullied. Being Asian, I have my shared of being bullied and was called horrible names but hey, I'm old school and I believe you have to be strong and stick up for yourself.
If you have to, you do whatever it is necessary to get the job done and stop the bullying as quicklyly as possible. If you don't, you are going to be easy prey for everyone else and soon instead of having 1 person bullying you, you'll have half the school bullying you. Life is tough, they either break you or you break them.
As far as what James420, the OP stated, I completely understand. One day, those bullies is going to bully the wrong person and it's not going to end well.
Last edited by calnbs; 01-13-2018 at 12:11 AM..
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