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Old 02-03-2018, 09:39 AM
 
35,512 posts, read 17,680,674 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ComeCloser View Post
Im not talking about a 'think it over' chair... I'm talking about people raised by parents with a 'spare the rod, spoil the child' mindset. It doesn't mean they punched us out or anything, but when reason failed, they got and kept our attention, and none of us ended up in prison, or sentenced to a life taking Ritalin and other behavior oriented drugs.
Hitting a child when you're really angry feels good, and that's why parents do it.

It doesn't teach good behavior. In fact, it makes kids sneaky where they hide misbehavior from parents rather than learning not to do it. One behavior paddling does change is a child who fears being paddled is unlikely to express their anger at a parent. Because they won't be able to sit down for a few days, so they learn to keep their faces expressionless while they're feeling anger and resentment. They're taught to feign respect.

When you say "none of us ended up in prison", then what are those buildings with razor wire around them? Well, some of us ended up in prison.

And those weren't the ones who were sent to the talk it over chair or made to sit and reason why their behavior is unacceptable.

I'll agree, that most people who are raised with parents who are loving and caring and who paddle them out of the notion that that will teach them good behavior grow and do just fine.

They grow up and do just fine despite being paddled, not because of it.

And that's why we don't paddle adults. Because we don't want to be paddled. Neither do kids. And it doesn't work.

You can't beat your neighbor, you can't beat your wife, but you can beat your kids as long as you don't bruise them up too much.
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Old 02-03-2018, 09:49 AM
 
35,512 posts, read 17,680,674 times
Reputation: 50476
So let me ask this. For those who are grateful they were paddled as children, and think it's a very effective and harmless discipline tool, how about we get to paddling adults?

Some cop pulls you over for running a stop sign, how about you grab your ankles while he teaches you not to do that?

No? Why? Why isn't that a good idea.

Whatever the answer is to that question, will make my case for me that you shouldn't paddle children, the weakest and most vulnerable humans.
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Old 02-03-2018, 09:50 AM
 
Location: The Ozone Layer, apparently...
4,005 posts, read 2,057,328 times
Reputation: 7714
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
Hitting a child when you're really angry feels good, and that's why parents do it.

It doesn't help curb behavior. In fact, it makes kids sneaky where they hide misbehavior from parents rather than learning not to do it.

When you say "none of us ended up in prison", then what are those buildings with razor wire around them? Well, some of us ended up in prison.

And those weren't the ones who were sent to the talk it over chair or made to sit and reason why their behavior is unacceptable.

I'll agree, that most people who are raised with parents who are loving and caring and who paddle them out of the notion that that will teach them good behavior grow and do just fine.

They grow up and do just fine despite being paddled, not because of it.

And that's why we don't paddle adults. Because we don't want to be paddled. Neither do they. And it doesn't work.
Horse crap! The same could be said for putting them on a drug regimen to control their behavior. Taking drugs feels good, and that's why people do it.

No one I went to school with, who had 'the entire village' ready to point out when they were not acting properly, went to prison. Im sorry if you cant say the same for your 'never spanked' peers. I don't want to blame a spanking on their criminal behavior.

But, we can debate this all day, and will have to agree to disagree. In the end I feel parents should attempt reason, but if it fails to stop the child from playing with fire, then a slap on the hand might get the kids attention, imho - that is not the abuse that would turn him into a serial killer down the road.

I feel bad for teachers today. It seems like a defenseless and self-defeating profession these days where the teacher has to defend every action he takes, and a dangerous child cannot be expelled from school.

Im grateful I grew up in the type of society where not just my parents bothered to show me what behavior was acceptable.

Maybe his experience with handcuffs, police and the police station will scare him straight, but tbh - this sadly already seems too far gone, and at the ripe old age of 7.
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Old 02-03-2018, 10:02 AM
 
Location: Canada
6,615 posts, read 6,485,313 times
Reputation: 18433
Quote:
Originally Posted by EastFlatbush View Post
You're right. It's insane. I've been trying to be diplomatic on my feelings about this but your comments have made me feel a little bit better about saying this: I think any adult who feels that she needed to call the police on a child and wants to press charges has mental health issues. Not the child. The child, of course, has behavioral issues. But the adult? That person has lost complete grasp on reality.

BTW, regarding your "where will it stop" question? I'm not trying to be alarmist or facetious or anything, but I 100% believe that we're a year or two away from police gunning down a child. Maybe not as young as 7 but maybe 8 or 9. Why the hell not? Police were terrified of Justine Damond, a harmless housewife from Australia. They were terrified of a man who had a child in the backseat of a car, were terrified of a man who was made to crawl and beg for his life. If police are terrified enough of harmless people like this, why not a child?
Re: in BOLD

Did you stop to think about this: that what the teacher and police did might HELP this child behave better after finding out that it's NOT okay or acceptable to hurt other people?

I was terrified of getting the strap way back in grade school so I behaved. I didn't like getting spanked at home either, so I behaved. Beating and a good spank or a principal using the strap are two totally different things. Beating is NOT acceptable and neither is giving a spank or strap that's hard enough to bruise.

Some of these kids don't have a CLUE how to act because they get away with murder at home AND at school. Those parents who are saying "my poor child" need an arse-kicking and some guidance on how to discipline their children and teach them how NOT to behave.

Last edited by gouligann; 02-03-2018 at 10:12 AM..
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Old 02-03-2018, 10:05 AM
 
Location: The Ozone Layer, apparently...
4,005 posts, read 2,057,328 times
Reputation: 7714
Quote:
Originally Posted by gouligann View Post
Re: in BOLD

Did you stop to think about this: that what the teacher and police did might HELP this child behave better after finding out that it's NOT okay or acceptable to hurt other people?

Some of these kids don't have a CLUE how to act because they get away with murder at home. Those parents who are saying "my poor child" need an arse-kicking and some guidance on how to discipline their children and teach them how NOT to behave.
I totally agree. This is the second time this child has physically attacked his teachers, but Mom, who calls him 'my love', claims he doesn't have a problem with aggression.
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Old 02-03-2018, 10:06 AM
 
Location: Canada
6,615 posts, read 6,485,313 times
Reputation: 18433
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
Hitting a child when you're really angry feels good, and that's why parents do it.

It doesn't teach good behavior. In fact, it makes kids sneaky where they hide misbehavior from parents rather than learning not to do it. One behavior paddling does change is a child who fears being paddled is unlikely to express their anger at a parent. Because they won't be able to sit down for a few days, so they learn to keep their faces expressionless while they're feeling anger and resentment. They're taught to feign respect.

When you say "none of us ended up in prison", then what are those buildings with razor wire around them? Well, some of us ended up in prison.

And those weren't the ones who were sent to the talk it over chair or made to sit and reason why their behavior is unacceptable.

I'll agree, that most people who are raised with parents who are loving and caring and who paddle them out of the notion that that will teach them good behavior grow and do just fine.

They grow up and do just fine despite being paddled, not because of it.

And that's why we don't paddle adults. Because we don't want to be paddled. Neither do kids. And it doesn't work.

You can't beat your neighbor, you can't beat your wife, but you can beat your kids as long as you don't bruise them up too much.
Paddling them, or beating them, absolutely NOT, but a good smack on the butt works wonders with many kids. Sometimes sitting them in a corner or putting them into their room isn't enough to be efficient at stopping the behaviour.
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Old 02-03-2018, 11:04 AM
 
Location: Independent Republic of Ballard
8,061 posts, read 8,284,170 times
Reputation: 6218
The parents are in denial and only making excuses for, and enabling, what is anti-social behavior. This child, who looks to be big for his age, seems more like an "entitled" bully than a victim, at least of the school or other students.

When I was a kid (a long time ago), if I had physically attacked a teacher, I would have been taken into a backroom and paddled, with not just one "swat", but several. Yes, while it was often abused and frequently inappropriate, the threat of it did help maintain order among the "rapscallion" horde, in the classroom (and lunch room, hallways, and playground). I'm not advising a return to those days, but do believe that teachers need to be supported in maintaining discipline, rather than being abandoned and disarmed. Unfortunately, a "bully" can be violent due to being physically abused at home by a parent (the father?), which might very well be the case in this instance.
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Old 02-03-2018, 11:54 AM
 
8,085 posts, read 5,194,247 times
Reputation: 22680
Quote:
Originally Posted by comecloser View Post
horse crap! The same could be said for putting them on a drug regimen to control their behavior. Taking drugs feels good, and that's why people do it.

No one i went to school with, who had 'the entire village' ready to point out when they were not acting properly, went to prison. Im sorry if you cant say the same for your 'never spanked' peers. I don't want to blame a spanking on their criminal behavior.

But, we can debate this all day, and will have to agree to disagree. In the end i feel parents should attempt reason, but if it fails to stop the child from playing with fire, then a slap on the hand might get the kids attention, imho - that is not the abuse that would turn him into a serial killer down the road.

I feel bad for teachers today. It seems like a defenseless and self-defeating profession these days where the teacher has to defend every action he takes, and a dangerous child cannot be expelled from school.

Im grateful i grew up in the type of society where not just my parents bothered to show me what behavior was acceptable.

Maybe his experience with handcuffs, police and the police station will scare him straight, but tbh - this sadly already seems too far gone, and at the ripe old age of 7.
+1.
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Old 02-03-2018, 12:38 PM
 
8,583 posts, read 15,948,472 times
Reputation: 11355
Quote:
Originally Posted by gouligann View Post
Paddling them, or beating them, absolutely NOT, but a good smack on the butt works wonders with many kids.
Personally I think a paddling by a parent can sometimes adjust an attitude of a defiant kid really fast,
but I can't figure out why you think a "smack on the butt" differs from a "paddling" ?

One of my boys never needed a paddling. Not because he was perfect, but because other consequences
changed his behavior. But the other kid was more strong willed and needed an occasional paddling.

Both are responsible & respectful adults now.
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Old 02-03-2018, 12:47 PM
 
1,142 posts, read 1,127,338 times
Reputation: 3128
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237 View Post

Both are responsible & respectful adults now.
Are you sure? According to the "experts" on this forum, the paddled child should have grown up to be a serial killer.
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