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He is now in the 6th grade, and is doing well academically. His parents know how to deal with his issues and have tried repeatedly to get the school on board, but they insist on pushing their IEP. Once they even put a weighted jacket and headphones on the boy without the parents' consent or knowledge. His parents have decided to home school him and are in the process of getting the paperwork in order to do so, and the school has been informed of this decision. The schools have now convinced Human Services that the child is being "educationally abused" (because they are pulling him out of school to begin home schooling) and his parents are now on official record as being child abusers. This has upset the boy to the extent he wants to run away or kill himself because he is sure he has caused all of this to happen. My son's job is now in jeopardy because he has to take time off all the time to deal with all the crap the schools are putting them through.
I can't believe that the school can legally harass them this way. Has anyone else had to go through anything like this?
So if the school implements an IEP for Autism, what would the result? What is the worse case scenario?
Lots of kids with IEP's go to college and live great lives.
Does your daughter, who you admitted had some special ed needs herself, have the cognitive and psychological ability to homeschool her son?
My grandson is my son's child. My daughter's child goes to public school and is doing very well.
Spazkat: I am not upset about it, I am giving an example of things the school has done to my grandson. This was just the first thing they did.
tnff: Yes. Thank you for understanding what I was trying to say. The parents would have no problem signing an IEP based on his actual diagnosis and that they were allowed to provide input for.
Frostnip: It is pretty hard for a kid not to know what's going on when police are waiting at your door when you get home from school.
My grandson definitely has some sensory issues, which is why he became agitated from the noise in the cafeteria on the first day of school.
Agitated reaction to noisy crowded chaotic settings is yet another feature of an autistic spectrum disorder. It sounds as if your son and his wife are simply opposed to the label of the word autism. And don't think that the outside pros who evaluated the kid wouldn't have picked up on that, and guided their report to try to work with the parents, and mention the features, but not the word. Saying that a child has anxiety, OCD, sensory issues, has behavioral "melt downs", and trouble with social interaction (which you haven't mentioned, but I'm sure from the rest of the description is the case) is listing so many of the criteria for high-functioning autism, that it's practically picture-perfect. For your son and his wife to focus on the word autism, and pull him out of school, rather than working with the school on getting help for your grandson, is in and of itself diagnostic for at least one of the parents, probably the one who is controlling the behavior of the other, and it does your grandson no good at all.
If you have any sway in the matter, get this kid back into a school setting - public, or private - as quickly as possible, meaning Monday morning! He needs the group setting for help with his social skills in order to have a good outcome. School is just as much about social training as it is about academics. A happy life is far more based on social functioning than on academics.
BTW, I have frequently seen couples divorce over this. One parent (usually the father) is rigid, has obsessive ideas about child rearing, such as no immunizations, no fluoride, needs to discuss these issues obsessively with anyone who will listen. Child has issues that become obvious even to an outside observer, but father is absolutely unwilling to see it, resists evaluations, resists services. Mother sits resignedly while father goes on and on about extremist, rigid ideas. Eventually, it becomes too much for mother, she divorces father, and insists on getting the kid some help. Father brings endless, fruitless custody suits to try and "save" child from immunizations, fluoride, treatment for medical issues, special ed in school, all because he needs control - which is why mother finally left him in the first place.
True. As a Special Ed TA we did not recommend or give medication to the children. If they had a script, their medication was given to the School Nurse who gave it to them. We were required to take courses and be certified in First Aid and CPR; tested yearly and re-certified.
However, when I worked in the after school program, we were required to take a course at the local university in administering medication. No Nurse on duty after school hours. If a child needed to take a medication, or needed an EPI Pen, it was kept in a locked closet in the Nurses office. The parents brought this in themselves. Damn, we couldn't give them an aspirin on our own. When my daughters were in school, I had to bring Tylenol in to the school nurse when they had cramps from their periods. She gave that to them.
I know the feeling. Over 20 years I saved countless oranges with epipens and regular syringes.
Agitated reaction to noisy crowded chaotic settings is yet another feature of an autistic spectrum disorder. It sounds as if your son and his wife are simply opposed to the label of the word autism. And don't think that the outside pros who evaluated the kid wouldn't have picked up on that, and guided their report to try to work with the parents, and mention the features, but not the word. Saying that a child has anxiety, OCD, sensory issues, has behavioral "melt downs", and trouble with social interaction (which you haven't mentioned, but I'm sure from the rest of the description is the case) is listing so many of the criteria for high-functioning autism, that it's practically picture-perfect. For your son and his wife to focus on the word autism, and pull him out of school, rather than working with the school on getting help for your grandson, is in and of itself diagnostic for at least one of the parents, probably the one who is controlling the behavior of the other, and it does your grandson no good at all.
If you have any sway in the matter, get this kid back into a school setting - public, or private - as quickly as possible, meaning Monday morning! He needs the group setting for help with his social skills in order to have a good outcome. School is just as much about social training as it is about academics. A happy life is far more based on social functioning than on academics.
An autism spectrum disorder is really hard to diagnose. It’s usually done by ruling other things out while looking at developmental progress and behaviors. The problem is that classification is what drives an IEP, and autism is one of the categories. If you get classified as such it’s a double-edged sword. You get services but also likely placement with other autistic kids.
My youngest has sensory issues and meltdowns. But now that he’s 11 he’s developing more self control. No autism, but if you looked at him at age 6 you would have thought so.
I’d be very wary of diagnosing another person’s child without personal knowledge. I do agree that socialization is a good thing.
Well, most autistic children develop better self-control and learn ways to manage situations, as they get older. So I'd say that the fact that your son has improved in these areas doesn't mean that he is not autistic.
Autism, for those who see it frequently in a clinical setting, is often a relatively easy diagnosis. Clinicians get really good at recognizing a constellation of symptoms - poor eye contact, obsession with certain topics of interest, poor social skills, certain classic behaviors, such as a child who uses a parent's hand as a tool. There are many characteristic features at various ages which help to identify those with autism.
I've seen kids who had frank autism at age 3, who were significantly improved by age 5. I've seen kids who had the classic presentation - rapid head growth, language regression, even using other people's hands as a tool. With help and time, by the time they were 8 yrs old, a casual outside observer would not be able to tell the difference between the kid and his neurotypical siblings, but the mother and the clinician still could - and the peer group is always best at "sniffing it out". People who specialize in working with kids with high-functioning autism will say, "These kids DO mature - they just do it later than neurotypicals." So the fact that your son improved with getting older is common.
No one is diagnosing anyone over the internet. But general statements, such as this constellation of symptoms goes with such and such, and would benefit from such and such, is very appropriate. And in this case, a child has been pulled out of school, when that child desperately needs what the school has to offer, because the parent(s) cannot stand that the word autism should appear on his IEP.
In today's educational world of mainstreaming, no one who can possibly be educated in a mainstream setting gets pulled out. So your statement that kids with a diagnosis of autism get placed with other kids with autism is incorrect. However, kids with poor social skills and anxiety DO get group therapy with other kids with poor social skills and anxiety, together with example kids with great social skills to help them. But this young man isn't going to get any of it, if he's been pulled out to be "homeschooled" by parents who never had any intention of becoming educators.
I think the answer to your question is in the first paragraph of the OP:
The OP's point seems to be the grandson has been diagnosed with anxiety and OCD by medical professionals but the school is trying to force an IEP based on autism. There is apparently a direct conflict in diagnosis between the medical professionals and the school. It appears the parents are going by the medical professionals' advice and if the IEP were written based on that advice, they'd probably sign it.
I can't speak to either OCD or autism. For comparison, when our oldest was in elementary, she was being treated for a medical condition by a specialist at one of the nation's largest children's hospitals. This required about once a month visits which meant she was out of school. Well the principal called us in for a "talk" where she threatened us with child services if we kept taking her out of school. She directly stated that the school nurse had determined there was nothing wrong with our child and that the school nurse was more qualified to make that diagnosis than the specialist. Fortunately that principal eventually retired and the new principal was more rational.
It sounds like your daughter's absences could have been addressed with a 504; was that ever presented as an option to you?
Actually I think the OP's grandchild's OCD & anxiety could also be addressed more appropriately with a 504 rather than an IEP & that would likely eliminate the constant edging towards IEP/Autism interventions.
Well, most autistic children develop better self-control and learn ways to manage situations, as they get older. So I'd say that the fact that your son has improved in these areas doesn't mean that he is not autistic.
Autism, for those who see it frequently in a clinical setting, is often a relatively easy diagnosis. Clinicians get really good at recognizing a constellation of symptoms - poor eye contact, obsession with certain topics of interest, poor social skills, certain classic behaviors, such as a child who uses a parent's hand as a tool. There are many characteristic features at various ages which help to identify those with autism.
I've seen kids who had frank autism at age 3, who were significantly improved by age 5. I've seen kids who had the classic presentation - rapid head growth, language regression, even using other people's hands as a tool. With help and time, by the time they were 8 yrs old, a casual outside observer would not be able to tell the difference between the kid and his neurotypical siblings, but the mother and the clinician still could - and the peer group is always best at "sniffing it out". People who specialize in working with kids with high-functioning autism will say, "These kids DO mature - they just do it later than neurotypicals." So the fact that your son improved with getting older is common.
No one is diagnosing anyone over the internet. But general statements, such as this constellation of symptoms goes with such and such, and would benefit from such and such, is very appropriate. And in this case, a child has been pulled out of school, when that child desperately needs what the school has to offer, because the parent(s) cannot stand that the word autism should appear on his IEP.
In today's educational world of mainstreaming, no one who can possibly be educated in a mainstream setting gets pulled out. So your statement that kids with a diagnosis of autism get placed with other kids with autism is incorrect. However, kids with poor social skills and anxiety DO get group therapy with other kids with poor social skills and anxiety, together with example kids with great social skills to help them. But this young man isn't going to get any of it, if he's been pulled out to be "homeschooled" by parents who never had any intention of becoming educators.
My nephew has autism with an IEP. When he was 10, he was punching my older children without warning. He had no self-control and would explode. By the time, he was 16, he was a different kid. He's 21 now and you would never know his issues. He is an engineering major at a good college. He has friends and is well behaved.
However, without mainstreaming in a good school system with occupational therapy, a social worker/therapist, and other support, this transformation would not be possible.
Don't get hung up on a label, get the help he needs.
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