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Old 09-08-2020, 01:35 PM
 
1,685 posts, read 713,711 times
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I have 3 kids in school, elementary, middle, and high, and have not at all seen what you are talking about.
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Old 09-08-2020, 02:18 PM
 
10,427 posts, read 3,904,506 times
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I think what OP is referring to is a 'thing', for a portion of the student body. I'm 63 years old, and I can remember wanting a boyfriend for all the wrong reasons, and NOT having one, and NOT going to dances or proms for that primary reason.


Maybe (probably) I wasn't mature enough for it anyway, or in the right head space for it. I would've felt awkward and weird attending by myself, and the few friends that I had...I don't think they went to prom either...but maybe I'm wrong. At any rate, I did not have the confidence in myself to go with a group and actually have fun. Soooo...I know there is that element.


But that said, my life was not ruined by not attending dances or prom. Life goes on and people grow up, and so on and so forth, and I've had plenty of fun and exciting experiences since, and I'm happily married to a great guy.
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Old 09-08-2020, 02:54 PM
 
Location: interior Alaska
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What besides school dances are couple-centric? I think nowadays it's as common to go with friends as to go with a romantic partner.
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Old 09-08-2020, 08:24 PM
 
Location: Crook County, Illinois
4,855 posts, read 2,228,874 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
I think what OP is referring to is a 'thing', for a portion of the student body. I'm 63 years old, and I can remember wanting a boyfriend for all the wrong reasons, and NOT having one, and NOT going to dances or proms for that primary reason.
...
But that said, my life was not ruined by not attending dances or prom. Life goes on and people grow up, and so on and so forth, and I've had plenty of fun and exciting experiences since, and I'm happily married to a great guy.
Yes, that's exactly what I was referring to. Like you, I didn't bother going to any school events, because I didn't have a girlfriend, and didn't want to look stupid. I was able to fly under the popular kids' radar, so they largely ignored me; the last thing I wanted was for them to catch me going stag. This caused me to rush headstrong into a relationship with the first willing taker when I started college, because I wanted to have a date for upcoming events. I did have a date for the events, but she was all wrong for me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frostnip View Post
What besides school dances are couple-centric? I think nowadays it's as common to go with friends as to go with a romantic partner.
Maybe it was just the schools I went to. Or maybe it's a generational thing: I went to school when you were "supposed to" be in a relationship to attend its events, while that's not the case for today's kids. Of course, now, schools are a big 'Rona circus, with everything up in the air and all over the place, but that's a topic for a whole 'nother thread.
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Old 09-08-2020, 09:52 PM
 
Location: interior Alaska
5,395 posts, read 3,869,660 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
Yes, that's exactly what I was referring to. Like you, I didn't bother going to any school events, because I didn't have a girlfriend, and didn't want to look stupid. I was able to fly under the popular kids' radar, so they largely ignored me; the last thing I wanted was for them to catch me going stag. This caused me to rush headstrong into a relationship with the first willing taker when I started college, because I wanted to have a date for upcoming events. I did have a date for the events, but she was all wrong for me.
I think you might consider the possibility that even then the "popular kids" probably wouldn't have much noticed or cared if you'd gone stag. If they had noticed, what's the worst that would have happened?

Quote:
Maybe it was just the schools I went to. Or maybe it's a generational thing: I went to school when you were "supposed to" be in a relationship to attend its events, while that's not the case for today's kids. Of course, now, schools are a big 'Rona circus, with everything up in the air and all over the place, but that's a topic for a whole 'nother thread.
My experience is that nowadays it's frowned upon among teen girls to put your boyfriend ahead of your friends, so the kids who go to events as couples, as friends, or individually, all just end up hanging out in a glob anyway. Plus their concept of what constitutes a boyfriend or girlfriend, and what dating involves, seems to be a lot more ephemeral now than it was when I was young.
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Old 09-09-2020, 12:12 AM
 
3,026 posts, read 1,355,840 times
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The idea is to have fun.
Singles go to dances to meet new friends, a new love interest, and socialize directly with one another.
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Old 09-09-2020, 05:09 AM
 
Location: Crook County, Illinois
4,855 posts, read 2,228,874 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kitty61 View Post
The idea is to have fun.
Singles go to dances to meet new friends, a new love interest, and socialize directly with one another.
Yes, on paper. But in practice, it ends up being a social competition that only top dogs can win. Which includes coming with a date. Not saying this isn't reflective of real life, but I just don't think this has a place at school dances.

I really like the dance practice parties at a dance studio near me. (Well, before the 'Rona Flu, that is.) Most people there are 30 thru 50, although there's a good number of outliers. A lot of mingling happens, and everyone dances with everyone. These parties are what school dances should be like, but can't be, due to how kids thing and how school officials subtly push the message.
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Old 09-09-2020, 07:25 AM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
22,982 posts, read 24,620,771 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
My children graduated in 2001 and 2006 and their HS wasn't like that. Very often groups of friends would go to the formal homecoming dance together. And, even prom had some people going as singles or with groups of friends (either same sex friends or boys and girls as friends). This was even more true in their MS. It was rare for the students to "couple up" at school activities even for the dances.

Is it possible that you were looking at a few prominent couples and thinking that everyone else were couples, too?
This was true for my kids as well - graduated in 2008 and 2012.
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Old 09-09-2020, 07:30 AM
 
1,476 posts, read 375,595 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post

I really like the dance practice parties at a dance studio near me. (Well, before the 'Rona Flu, that is.) Most people there are 30 thru 50, although there's a good number of outliers. A lot of mingling happens, and everyone dances with everyone. These parties are what school dances should be like, but can't be, due to how kids thing and how school officials subtly push the message.
Wrong again MU.

Why do you keep pushing this narrative?

Sorry your life wasn't pleasing to you but that doesn't make it true for everyone with kids in school.
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Old 09-09-2020, 08:26 AM
 
Location: From the Middle East of the USA
1,067 posts, read 784,699 times
Reputation: 1137
No one likes doing anything alone.
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