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Old 09-09-2020, 09:27 AM
 
1,476 posts, read 377,407 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hickoryfan View Post
No one likes doing anything alone.
Says who?
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Old 09-09-2020, 09:28 AM
 
10,428 posts, read 3,907,131 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KemBro71 View Post
Wrong again MU.

Why do you keep pushing this narrative?

Sorry your life wasn't pleasing to you but that doesn't make it true for everyone with kids in school.
But I think it IS for a segment of the student population. It is what he thought was reality at the time. It's what I thought was reality at the time. I don't know how old MU is, but I think he's younger than I am...and I can relate to what he says here, on this topic.


But I definitely don't think it applies to everyone.


An example from my childhood...5th or 6th grade-ish.


Kids start "pairing up" at that young of an age. I WANTED to be paired up. I WANTED a boyfriend. Back then, a boy would give a girl his I.D. bracelet, and she would oh so proudly wear it.


One time, some random boy walked up to my best friend and gave her his I.D. bracelet. THAT WAS IT! She officially had a boyfriend. Why couldn't that have happened to me????? I would've had an I.D. bracelet to show the world! I would've officially had a boyfriend! I would've been 'important'.


My best friend who recieved the bracelet...she had more sense than me. She was confused and thought it weird that some guy would just walk up to her and do that. Dang...I wish he would've given it to me instead of her. Clearly she was more worthy than I was.


All this stuff was me back then. If I wasn't "coupled up" there was something wrong with me. And if you think there's something wrong with you, then you're afraid everyone will point and laugh and make fun of you, so you don't go to the dances, etc.


I didn't know THEN, that my POV was not necessarily shared by everyone else. I didn't realize THEN that there were other ways of looking at the situation.
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Old 09-09-2020, 09:32 AM
 
Location: NorCal...The Bay Area
4,950 posts, read 1,211,853 times
Reputation: 3675
Quote:
Originally Posted by hickoryfan View Post
No one likes doing anything alone.




That's what support & friendship & casual dating is for & schools can help provide it. Healthy relationships tho are about wanting somebody that is a good fit.....BUT...NOT because we NEED them to keep from being alone.
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Old 09-09-2020, 09:41 AM
 
1,476 posts, read 377,407 times
Reputation: 4072
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
But I think it IS for a segment of the student population. It is what he thought was reality at the time. It's what I thought was reality at the time. I don't know how old MU is, but I think he's younger than I am...and I can relate to what he says here, on this topic.


But I definitely don't think it applies to everyone.


An example from my childhood...5th or 6th grade-ish.


Kids start "pairing up" at that young of an age. I WANTED to be paired up. I WANTED a boyfriend. Back then, a boy would give a girl his I.D. bracelet, and she would oh so proudly wear it.


One time, some random boy walked up to my best friend and gave her his I.D. bracelet. THAT WAS IT! She officially had a boyfriend. Why couldn't that have happened to me????? I would've had an I.D. bracelet to show the world! I would've officially had a boyfriend! I would've been 'important'.


My best friend who recieved the bracelet...she had more sense than me. She was confused and thought it weird that some guy would just walk up to her and do that. Dang...I wish he would've given it to me instead of her. Clearly she was more worthy than I was.


All this stuff was me back then. If I wasn't "coupled up" there was something wrong with me. And if you think there's something wrong with you, then you're afraid everyone will point and laugh and make fun of you, so you don't go to the dances, etc.


I didn't know THEN, that my POV was not necessarily shared by everyone else. I didn't realize THEN that there were other ways of looking at the situation.
The OP refuses to consider that his sole experience 20 years ago and the effects that he believes it has had on him for 20+ years are NOT universal, not then and more importantly not now. It's at obsession level.
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Old 09-09-2020, 09:43 AM
 
1,476 posts, read 377,407 times
Reputation: 4072
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
But I think it IS for a segment of the student population. It is what he thought was reality at the time. It's what I thought was reality at the time. I don't know how old MU is, but I think he's younger than I am...and I can relate to what he says here, on this topic.


But I definitely don't think it applies to everyone.


An example from my childhood...5th or 6th grade-ish.


Kids start "pairing up" at that young of an age. I WANTED to be paired up. I WANTED a boyfriend. Back then, a boy would give a girl his I.D. bracelet, and she would oh so proudly wear it.


One time, some random boy walked up to my best friend and gave her his I.D. bracelet. THAT WAS IT! She officially had a boyfriend. Why couldn't that have happened to me????? I would've had an I.D. bracelet to show the world! I would've officially had a boyfriend! I would've been 'important'.


My best friend who recieved the bracelet...she had more sense than me. She was confused and thought it weird that some guy would just walk up to her and do that. Dang...I wish he would've given it to me instead of her. Clearly she was more worthy than I was.


All this stuff was me back then. If I wasn't "coupled up" there was something wrong with me. And if you think there's something wrong with you, then you're afraid everyone will point and laugh and make fun of you, so you don't go to the dances, etc.


I didn't know THEN, that my POV was not necessarily shared by everyone else. I didn't realize THEN that there were other ways of looking at the situation.
Furthermore, the OP's "dance practice parties" (whatever those are) could easily be countered with examples of nightclubs where nobody dances with anyone they didn't bring, yada yada. The point being that you can't cherry pick your experiences and consider them universal.
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Old 09-09-2020, 10:47 AM
 
10,428 posts, read 3,907,131 times
Reputation: 23870
Quote:
Originally Posted by KemBro71 View Post
Furthermore, the OP's "dance practice parties" (whatever those are) could easily be countered with examples of nightclubs where nobody dances with anyone they didn't bring, yada yada. The point being that you can't cherry pick your experiences and consider them universal.

I COMPLETELY agree with what I bolded. But...some people don't figure that out for a very long time, if at all.
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Old 09-09-2020, 02:10 PM
Status: "Finally in Durham!" (set 6 days ago)
 
Location: Durham, NC
24,906 posts, read 35,563,921 times
Reputation: 35133
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
My children graduated in 2001 and 2006 and their HS wasn't like that. Very often groups of friends would go to the formal homecoming dance together. And, even prom had some people going as singles or with groups of friends (either same sex friends or boys and girls as friends). This was even more true in their MS. It was rare for the students to "couple up" at school activities even for the dances.

Is it possible that you were looking at a few prominent couples and thinking that everyone else were couples, too?
I’m an 06 grad myself and made the stupid mistake of going to a homecoming dance stag during me senior year. All couples, no groups of friends. Kind of a waste of time and money if you are single.
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Old 09-09-2020, 02:32 PM
 
Location: NorCal...The Bay Area
4,950 posts, read 1,211,853 times
Reputation: 3675
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
I’m an 06 grad myself and made the stupid mistake of going to a homecoming dance stag during me senior year. All couples, no groups of friends. Kind of a waste of time and money if you are single.




I graduated in 07 & ofc dances are for couples....no "stag" IMO that's the 1 time you are expected to have a date or don't go....it's not like athletic games or sitting with friends at lunch. BUT....you still sit at the table with other friends & their dates....so friends are still a part of it.
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Old 09-09-2020, 04:04 PM
 
9,817 posts, read 8,350,928 times
Reputation: 8476
Mixers are for singles to mingle and possibly become couples. They occur at the beginning of the school year, and kids are expected to develop socially during the year without it. The original poster spends a lot of time blaming other people.

Some people only date people they think they will marry. That is a common complaint I heard. So they don't hardly date at all.
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Old 09-09-2020, 04:17 PM
 
Location: NorCal...The Bay Area
4,950 posts, read 1,211,853 times
Reputation: 3675
Quote:
Originally Posted by lchoro View Post
Mixers are for singles to mingle and possibly become couples.

Some people only date people they think they will marry. That is a common complaint I heard. So they don't hardly date at all.






Are you talking about the 1960s or 70s....or earlier?
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