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How interesting. I had no idea that some states had such a late cutoff date that it was possible to have a late November birthday and start K as a 4-year-old. Here the cutoff is September 1st and schools starts the last week of August.
OP, I understand what you are saying about your son struggling because he was the youngest in his class. But realistically, unless you manipulated things to make him the EXTRA youngest in his class (for example, if the cutoff date in your state was Sept 1st and you somehow manipulated things to get him in with a late November birthday--some parents do this to avoid paying for an extra year of daycare) then this would have happened to him or some other kid anyway. In any class, kids will be spread out in age across an entire year, age wise. They will also have natural differences in developmental speeds.
He didn't make the top orchestra until he was a senior. I was a music teacher. Some kids make the top orchestra/band as freshmen. We had kids make the all-state band as freshmen. Some kids never make the top orchestra/band, even as seniors. It probably had very little to do with his age/maturity and more to due with talent level and how much he practiced. Sorry if that's hard to hear.
As for calculus, and for needing an extra year in college... some students need an extra year in college. And that's okay! I took five years to graduate. There is nothing wrong with me. And yes, I was one of the youngest in my class and so I get the maturity issue thing. Might I have benefitted from being one of the older kids? Maybe, maybe not. I was reading by the age of 4 so holding me back to start K at 6 rather than 5 when I did would have meant I would have been even more bored academically. There is no perfect answer a lot of the time and I think it doesn't help to wring your hands now and kick yourself for the "What ifs". You don't actually know that anything would have been better or different. As a teacher, I do NOT advocate parents manipulating things to get a kid who is TOO young to start K into the class. But also, kids are going to develop the way they are going to develop--as individuals--and I think there's a lot of second guessing and overthinking here. Your son shouldn't be sitting at home sulking when his friends are graduating college. He should be celebrating with them, just like they will celebrate with him when it's his turn. And if your attitude is feeding his bad attitude, then help him see that he's on the right path FOR HIM.
How interesting. I had no idea that some states had such a late cutoff date that it was possible to have a late November birthday and start K as a 4-year-old. Here the cutoff is September 1st and schools starts the last week of August.
OP, I understand what you are saying about your son struggling because he was the youngest in his class. But realistically, unless you manipulated things to make him the EXTRA youngest in his class (for example, if the cutoff date in your state was Sept 1st and you somehow manipulated things to get him in with a late November birthday--some parents do this to avoid paying for an extra year of daycare) then this would have happened to him or some other kid anyway. In any class, kids will be spread out in age across an entire year, age wise. They will also have natural differences in developmental speeds.
He didn't make the top orchestra until he was a senior. I was a music teacher. Some kids make the top orchestra/band as freshmen. We had kids make the all-state band as freshmen. Some kids never make the top orchestra/band, even as seniors. It probably had very little to do with his age/maturity and more to due with talent level and how much he practiced. Sorry if that's hard to hear.
As for calculus, and for needing an extra year in college... some students need an extra year in college. And that's okay! I took five years to graduate. There is nothing wrong with me. And yes, I was one of the youngest in my class and so I get the maturity issue thing. Might I have benefitted from being one of the older kids? Maybe, maybe not. I was reading by the age of 4 so holding me back to start K at 6 rather than 5 when I did would have meant I would have been even more bored academically. There is no perfect answer a lot of the time and I think it doesn't help to wring your hands now and kick yourself for the "What ifs". You don't actually know that anything would have been better or different. As a teacher, I do NOT advocate parents manipulating things to get a kid who is TOO young to start K into the class. But also, kids are going to develop the way they are going to develop--as individuals--and I think there's a lot of second guessing and overthinking here. Your son shouldn't be sitting at home sulking when his friends are graduating college. He should be celebrating with them, just like they will celebrate with him when it's his turn. And if your attitude is feeding his bad attitude, then help him see that he's on the right path FOR HIM.
Long thread, but for me, I'm old enough that the calendar year was the cut-off date for K, not the beginning of the school year, I think, too young to really know, but there were other late year birthdays in my class. Heck by HS, I wasn't the youngest in the class anymore. My point was being 4 for most of the first half of K didn't put me back, it was a rocket to push me forward faster in life.
Age and class standing are just a number. My brother took 6 years to get through college.......he makes 5 or 6 times the money I make, and I could have graduated college in 3 years. Amazingly, being good at school work didn't translate into $$ in the real world!
Last edited by westsideboy; 07-14-2023 at 10:12 AM..
... this would have happened to him or some other kid anyway. In any class, kids will be spread out in age across an entire year, age wise. They will also have natural differences in developmental speeds.
True. And some of those youngest students will be retained. In my kids' kindergarten classes, there were 6-7 students who had been retained in kindergarten. The reason given by parents and teachers was that they were "too young." The second time around they ended up the oldest in the class and with a lot more confidence. However, many parents don't want their child to undergo retention.
"A child’s birthday determines when they can enter kindergarten, and states vary on age cutoffs — some require that kids be 5 years old before Sept. 1 to enroll; others use Jan. 1 or other dates. As a result, school classes are composed of kids whose ages span as much as a year. In states with a Sept. 1 cutoff, a child born on Aug. 31 will be 364 days younger than a classmate born on Sept. 1.
At an early age, an additional year of life is no small thing. The oldest kids in a kindergarten class could have as much as 20% more experience here on planet Earth, not to mention the accompanying physical growth, than the youngest kids. But teachers and school systems apply the same set of expectations for everyone in that class."
We were together with the grown grandchildren this week and the subject came up. Their family moved to a different school district when their oldest was finished with second grade. He did not meet the age requirement for third grade in the new district, so had to repeat.
He turned out fine, but he’s a super brilliant kid and he was totally bored repeating second grade. So what, though? It’s a first world problem.
We were together with the grown grandchildren this week and the subject came up. Their family moved to a different school district when their oldest was finished with second grade. He did not meet the age requirement for third grade in the new district, so had to repeat.
He turned out fine, but he’s a super brilliant kid and he was totally bored repeating second grade. So what, though? It’s a first world problem.
Same thing happened to us when we moved to 2 different states. My son repeated a grade and my daughter bumped up to a higher grade. Then he ended up doing self study in high school and graduated early. It's all fine.
This was the funny takeaway though. It was the New Mexico schools that were further ahead than the top ranked Ohio and southern CA schools.
We were together with the grown grandchildren this week and the subject came up. Their family moved to a different school district when their oldest was finished with second grade. He did not meet the age requirement for third grade in the new district, so had to repeat.
He turned out fine, but he’s a super brilliant kid and he was totally bored repeating second grade. So what, though? It’s a first world problem.
My sister-in-law skipped two grades. In high school, she graduated at 16 instead of 18. It was a disaster in college. She wasn't as mature as the other students. It made dorm life considerably harder for her.
One year might be be okay.
On the other hand, I wish I held back both my kids. My kids were advanced intellectually. However, most of their classmates had been redshirted.
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