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Maybe it's because this has, on rare occasion, turned out to be the case with other posters, but this account sounds to me more like the son's point of view than the parent's.
(Edit for clarification: I mean it sounds, to me, more like the son's account of his own point of view, rather than a parent's account of what they think their child has been going through.)
YES, it sounds like that member who was previously banned under several user names, who blamed all his twenty-something problems on his parents who didn't hold him back for kindergarten.
That sort of transition has to happen sooner or later, and would've been much more bearable for my son had he made such a transition alongside his friends.
But life happens and now’s the time for it to be awkward and uncomfortable. He’s got to get used to life not being fair or easy. This is so incredibly minor in the grand scheme of things. Presumably he’s about 21 or 22…time for a dose of real life medicine where peers do not all exactly align.
I would look at the silver lining in this. By the time he graduates, his friends will have been working at their companies for a year. Having connections is a good thing. Maybe his friends can recommend him for jobs.
I wish we had redshirted our son too. We didn't because I couldn't afford another year of preschool and jumped at the chance to put him in kindergarten. He's done fine, but I think he struggled socially for having been smaller, he had a harder time in sports, and he was actually bullied by a teacher at one point. Lots of small things (the bullying was a pretty big thing), added up over the years, and I definitely have regrets.
Our son has an early August birthday. We had him do kindergarten twice so he would be one of the oldest boys in the class instead of one of the youngest. It's worked out for him. I sometimes wish my parents had done the same for me.
Our son has an early August birthday. We had him do kindergarten twice so he would be one of the oldest boys in the class instead of one of the youngest. It's worked out for him. I sometimes wish my parents had done the same for me.
For both my son and me, our birthdays are close to the magic date but on the wrong side. Meaning both of us had to wait a year and were among the oldest in class. In fact, the only kid older than me had already flunked a couple of times. It worked out OK for both of us, but the biggest impact is we were both emotionally ready to be out of school by end of 11th grade. 12th grade just seemed like a big holding pattern, kind of like when you're stuck at a railroad crossing for a slow freight, that just delayed us graduating and getting on with our lives.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff
For both my son and me, our birthdays are close to the magic date but on the wrong side. Meaning both of us had to wait a year and were among the oldest in class. In fact, the only kid older than me had already flunked a couple of times. It worked out OK for both of us, but the biggest impact is we were both emotionally ready to be out of school by end of 11th grade. 12th grade just seemed like a big holding pattern, kind of like when you're stuck at a railroad crossing for a slow freight, that just delayed us graduating and getting on with our lives.
I think this is precisely the point. Managed correctly, that extra year of maturity, especially for boys, helps build a stronger base for college and/or entering the workforce.
Oldest grandson started Kindergarten at four (his birthday is in November). He was already reading at a second grade level, knew most of his times tables, was doing double digit addition and subtraction...and identifying all the planets in the solar system and the 50 United States on a map. DD and grandson met with the principal at the elementary school in their district. Grandson could recite the alphabet forward in about ten seconds and then BACKWARD (a trick I taught him). DD said it was pretty obvious that principal didn't know what to do with a kid like him and didn't want to deal with it. But she wouldn't let him start Kindergarten that year.
In hindsight, if he would have started Kindergarten the following year, at almost SIX, he would have been bored witless being in a class so far behind where he was. He'd already developed the habit of showing his impatience with others (including me, his grandmother) who didn't know as much as HE did. And yes, I could see him correcting and contradicting the teacher.
So, DD and son in law had him test for enrollment at a private school for gifted students, about 45 minutes away. He had to have a full day's battery of academic, IQ, and psychological testing. The specialist who administered the testing asked DD if she was familiar with "The Big Bang Theory". They had him pegged as a Young Sheldon long before the TV show. He ended up skipping the second grade and, at 9, he will be taking sixth grade courses this fall. Except for math...he'll be taking 9th grade algebra. Ask him what an exponent is, and he'll tell you. Youngest grandson will be 7 in October (he also started Kindergarten at 4) and will be entering third grade this fall. He's not so much a "Sheldon", he's more a "Leonard". He loves Cub Scouts, plays soccer, and takes dance classes.
They've since switched to the cyber school program...more convenient than the 45 minute commute to school.
The mindset their school district has of automatically "holding them back makes them bigger for sports", and the fact that they have no programs for gifted children is aggravating. The disgust is shared by most of the members of the home schooling association DD and son in law are involved in.
Last edited by Mrs. Skeffington; 07-04-2023 at 04:40 PM..
I think this is precisely the point. Managed correctly, that extra year of maturity, especially for boys, helps build a stronger base for college and/or entering the workforce.
My point is we were naturally older; we weren't artificially held back a year, nor gain an "advantage" by it. And even as it was, we were naturally ready a year sooner which translates to the natural graduating age of someone who wasn't redshirted and graduates with their natural peer group. In terms of our social peer group, we related better to the kids who were are natural age group but were a year ahead in school. I'm trying to point out that it wasn't a major life changing deal being older and there's no huge advantage to redshirting based on age, though there may be based on the kid's natural maturity.
I have heard some interesting discussions about this topic with regards to sports. Megyn Kelly has had some guests talk about it.
I was a "young" birthday and I had an interesting experience regarding sports.
In school sports I was average at best as I was younger than a lot of the other fellows.
However in baseball it was age group. The way it worked out that at age 10, 12, 14 I was one of the oldest kids. At age 9, 11, 13 I was just ok. Held my own. At 10,12, and 14 I was a holy terror on the baseball field. Threw the hardest in the league, one of the better batters. Most of the other kids that had the same situation were the same. Not all that great at school sports, but really good baseball players in that year were we were the older kids.
It was amazing the difference being one of the oldest compared to being one of the youngest.
Then came high school. I was ok, but not one of the best.... as once again, I was younger than the other kids I was playing with or against.
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