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I don't think there is any pressure to put a kid in school early. A kid who misses the cut off, whatever month it might be, is generally going to get another year.
I think the question is whether or not it's necessary or advisable to "red shirt" a child who would not otherwise be missing the cut off. I'd say that is a very individual decision.
Usually, when a parent makes the decision to red shirt their child and give them an extra year before they start K it is because they are concerned that their child is socially immature, possibly not fully potty trained and often small for their age. Those can all be very valid concerns and good reasons to delay entry into K.
But, likewise, a kid that is socially on par with his peers, fully potty trained, tall for their age could potentially really hate being in a classroom full of younger kids. So red shirting can backfire, too, if not done for a valid reason.
Since all of Op's son's friends are the same age as the Op's son is, that indicates that he was socially on par with his peers and not being rejected by his classmates for being immature by comparison.
Academics wise, we did a lot of supplementing at home, too. The social aspect was a big part of school, though.
From the OP:
The purpose is this post is to encourage parents of kids born between October and December to think long-term when deciding whether or not to send them to kindergarten at 4. Our son has a late November birthday, and when he was 4, all that mattered to us was that he was ready for Kindergarten. We didn't ask ourselves how he would do in high school or college. Thus, we sent him at 4, and he has ultimately been emotionally damaged because of it.
The above is what I hear a lot. Ready for kindergarten because? they can read? they can do math?
I agree, there can be a myriad of reasons to delay, but to have them start early just makes no sense to me.
From the OP:
The purpose is this post is to encourage parents of kids born between October and December to think long-term when deciding whether or not to send them to kindergarten at 4. Our son has a late November birthday, and when he was 4, all that mattered to us was that he was ready for Kindergarten. We didn't ask ourselves how he would do in high school or college. Thus, we sent him at 4, and he has ultimately been emotionally damaged because of it.
The above is what I hear a lot. Ready for kindergarten because? they can read? they can do math?
I agree, there can be a myriad of reasons to delay, but to have them start early just makes no sense to me.
Again, Op's son did not miss the cut off date for his school system. He went to school on time. He did not go early even if you and I might think that 4 seems early to start K.
My husband started K at the age of 4 even though he missed the cut off for K and was technically supposed to wait a year. His mom convinced the school that he was ready - socially, maturity wise. And he was ready. She was afraid that he would be bored at home with all of his friends heading off to start K. And, knowing my husband, I think she was right.
Will he still be a year behind in life when he's 40?
If a fully grown man is still blaming his loving mother for not red shirting him as a Kindergartner....Oh, boy.
The fact is, this will all be long forgotten by the time he reaches 40. He won't care when he was potty trained, how old he was when he first slept through the night in his own crib/bed, when he got his first taste of solid food, either. This is all stuff that moms fret over until they realize that none of it matters in the grand scheme of things.
My son's birthday was 3 days before the cut off date and we held him back as we felt it would be better for him to be among the oldest in class rather than the youngest.
Where we were living at the time it was common to hold kids back who had birthdays close to the cut off date. He was in a private school for kindergarten and the 2 classes were divided as to age. My son's class, the older group, had a teacher who was widely regarded as"the best" and she was able to advance the kids beyond usual kindergarten level.
I'm not sure if a public school would be able to do this.
If a fully grown man is still blaming his loving mother for not red shirting him as a Kindergartner....Oh, boy.
The fact is, this will all be long forgotten by the time he reaches 40. He won't care when he was potty trained, how old he was when he first slept through the night in his own crib/bed, when he got his first taste of solid food, either. This is all stuff that moms fret over until they realize that none of it matters in the grand scheme of things.
Forty? He should have gotten over it when he was ten.
What? Wouldn't the oldest kids in class get to drive first?
Oops, thanks for catching that. Thinking back about the old days and mixing up memories. The youngest in our class were just as smart and no one cared that the oldest kids were driving the rest of us around.
I don't think there is any pressure to put a kid in school early.
That reminded me. My grandma lied about my mom's birthday so she could get her in school early. Mom did fine, always near the top of her class and in lots of activities. So my mom did the same to my younger sister, lied about her birth date so she could get in early. Sixty years ago it was probably easy to do. Today, not so much.
eh - my oldest sibling skipped a grade. He graduated from high school at 16 - and was the valedictorian. He did fine.
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