Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Education
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-06-2023, 03:14 PM
 
Location: Southeast
1,409 posts, read 629,377 times
Reputation: 4137

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by thtltwatw View Post
That sort of transition has to happen sooner or later, and would've been much more bearable for my son had he made such a transition alongside his friends.

I wasn't redshirted (had no idea that's what it was called) in the 70s and I was behind in math every year, but I was ahead in everything else. I went to summer school for three years in high school and I still never passed Pre-Algebra, until my guidance counselor told me I didn't have to take it in my senior year.

Now I am a programmer, have been for about 30 years, and a lot of it was self-taught.

Your son will be fine. I hope you don't carry on like this in front of your son, because that's one sure way to keep him emotionally stunted.

Or is this the son whining yet again?

Last edited by clevergirl67; 07-06-2023 at 03:28 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-06-2023, 06:27 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque
884 posts, read 442,289 times
Reputation: 1992
Quote:
Originally Posted by thtltwatw View Post
The purpose is this post is to encourage parents of kids born between October and December to think long-term when deciding whether or not to send them to kindergarten at 4. Our son has a late November birthday, and when he was 4, all that mattered to us was that he was ready for Kindergarten. We didn't ask ourselves how he would do in high school or college. Thus, we sent him at 4, and he has ultimately been emotionally damaged because of it.

Now contrary to popular opinion, he didn't feel as bad about being the last to get his driver's license as one might expect. After all, it's a hard and fast rule in this country that if you're under 16, you're now allowed a driver's license. Thus, our son knew that his classmates weren't driving before him because of anything he had done wrong; he knew that it was just the law and there was no reason for him to blame himself. However, our son experienced other problems that I'm sure were an indirect result of his relative age. However, because these problems were an indirect result, he had a much harder time not blaming himself for them.

One such example is that he didn't make it into his high school's top orchestra until his senior year, while most of his orchestra friends made it in their junior year. Concerts were torture for him his junior year, as he had to sit in the audience watching his classmates perform some of the greatest classical pieces ever written.

Another example is that he failed Pre-Calculus his junior year, and had to retake it his senior year, meaning he graduated high school with no knowledge of Calculus. Whenever he got together with his friends to study during his senior year, he had to endure the shame of pulling out his Pre-Calculus textbook while all his friends pulled out their Calculus(and in some cases, Multivariable Calculus) textbooks.

But, most recently and most importantly, is that he failed to graduate from college in 4 years. Due to his immaturity when he entered college, he wasn't able to handle as much as most of his classmates, and the result was that he ended up falling a year behind. He should've graduated this spring, but he didn't. It's going to be another year before he graduates and he is miserable about it. These past weeks, he's had to endure his friends from high school as well as his friends from his first year at the university(including his old roommates) posting pictures of themselves in their caps and gowns on facebook. The moderator of that group, the other day, made a post saying, "Congratulations college grads!" which filled our son with shame. A parent of one of his friends from high school invited them to a college graduation party at their enormous house, to which our son had to gloomily decline. Even though he's graduating next year, the people he's going to graduate with are people he barely knows, whereas most people who graduate from college together have shared the full 4 years together, from start to finish.

I've never heard a parent say they regret redshirting, but I've heard many parents say they regret not redshirting, and now I understand why.
This is a very weird post for me. For one thing, in the state I live in kids who are not 5 by Sept. 30th can't start public school. Second the graduating without knowing calculus? What? that is an elective for kids who like math or want to be engineers. Where do you live?

My brother's birthday is in December and back in the olden days public school didn't have kindergarten so the kids had to be 6 by Dec. 31st to start 1st grade. He was 5, half a year younger than his classmates for the most part. He had enough credits to graduate his junior year but my mother wouldn't let him, she said "I'm not letting you loose on the world when you are only 16." So his senior year he spent half a day teaching the autoshop class since he didn't need any credits he could take only electives. The rest of the day he worked.

I suspect your son's immaturity had nothing to do with him starting school a few months early. I knew too many people who graduated a year early and finished college in 3 or 4 years, some went on to get masters and PHD degrees.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-06-2023, 06:32 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque
884 posts, read 442,289 times
Reputation: 1992
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slater View Post
IIRC, I never attended kindergarten (I'm 63), but back then we had a program called Head Start. I was 6 when I entered that program. Is it even still around?
In New Mexico Head Start used to be for the kids that did not speak english and it was for 4 - 6 year olds. Now it is more robust, helping kids learn to read before they get to kindergaten.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-06-2023, 06:50 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque
884 posts, read 442,289 times
Reputation: 1992
Quote:
Originally Posted by clevergirl67 View Post
I wasn't redshirted (had no idea that's what it was called) in the 70s and I was behind in math every year, but I was ahead in everything else. I went to summer school for three years in high school and I still never passed Pre-Algebra, until my guidance counselor told me I didn't have to take it in my senior year.

Now I am a programmer, have been for about 30 years, and a lot of it was self-taught.

Your son will be fine. I hope you don't carry on like this in front of your son, because that's one sure way to keep him emotionally stunted.

Or is this the son whining yet again?
That sounds like you had really crappy math teachers. Some people are good at math if they are allowed to figure it out for themselves. You obvilously understand math if you area programmer. I had a teacher in 5th grade who said "girls cannot be good at math", she was an idiot because some of us girls in her class understood math better than she did. It was her that had the problem.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-06-2023, 07:55 PM
 
Location: Arizona
2,548 posts, read 2,193,103 times
Reputation: 3888
Quote:
Originally Posted by DesertRat56 View Post
In New Mexico Head Start used to be for the kids that did not speak english and it was for 4 - 6 year olds. Now it is more robust, helping kids learn to read before they get to kindergaten.
In Tennessee way back in the 1960's a kid started first grade at age 7. I would imagine it's probably changed over the decades.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-07-2023, 08:15 AM
 
Location: So Ca
26,580 posts, read 26,462,584 times
Reputation: 24525
Quote:
Originally Posted by thtltwatw View Post
The purpose is this post is to encourage parents of kids born between October and December to think long-term when deciding whether or not to send them to kindergarten at 4. Our son has a late November birthday, and when he was 4, all that mattered to us was that he was ready for Kindergarten. We didn't ask ourselves how he would do in high school or college...
And how would you know? Many parents don't. (We certainly didn't.) No real criteria to enter school--other than age--existed when we were entering kindergarten.

In my kids' public school district, all children who were born before the age cut off for entering kindergarten had to take a test. If they passed it, they were eligible to attend. At the time, school started the second week of September and the age cut off was Dec. 1. The "test," however, did not measure emotional maturity.

Last edited by CA4Now; 07-07-2023 at 08:45 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-07-2023, 08:17 AM
 
Location: So Ca
26,580 posts, read 26,462,584 times
Reputation: 24525
Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkalot View Post
You're blaming quite a bit on him being a couple months younger than the other kids. He would probably have the same problems if held back a year.
I disagree. When a class is composed of four, five and six year olds, even a few months maturity makes a HUGE difference. Months can make the difference between something as supposedly incidental as a child possessing the motor skills to hold a pair of scissors and cut, to pay attention to groups of words on a worksheet, etc. And unfortunately, they ARE competing....they're all placed somewhere on that statistical bell-shaped curve.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-07-2023, 08:25 AM
Status: "Mistress of finance and foods." (set 15 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
49,990 posts, read 63,313,910 times
Reputation: 92465
Definitely keep him back, if you have any doubts about his maturity.

My son is January. Not only was he 5 when he went to kindergarten, but he repeated kindergarten. Our worries were the opposite of OP, wondering if he’d tower over the other kids or not be on the same maturity level, but the only consequences were favorable. He had an advantage in sports and was a varsity baseball and basketball player.

My daughter was a December birthday, and her pre testing qualified her to go to kindergarten at 4. The school counselor said something that helped us decide to keep her back a year. She said, “she’ll still be just as smart next year as she is now, so let her enjoy just being a kid for another year.”
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-07-2023, 08:30 AM
Status: "Mistress of finance and foods." (set 15 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
49,990 posts, read 63,313,910 times
Reputation: 92465
Quote:
Originally Posted by CA4Now View Post
I disagree. When a class is composed of four, five and six year olds, even a few months maturity makes a HUGE difference. Months can make the difference between something as supposedly incidental as a child possessing the motor skills to hold a pair of scissors and cut, to pay attention to groups of words on a worksheet, etc. And unfortunately, they ARE competing....they're all placed somewhere on that statistical bell-shaped curve.
Tell me about it. I volunteered to read a story every week to a kindergarten. One kid was always sound asleep when I came, some were engaged and participated, and some were something in between. Kindergarten now, is very different than it was when I went. The children are learning things that I learned in first and second grade. It’s not just naps, coloring and snacks anymore.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-07-2023, 10:01 AM
 
Location: Arizona
8,218 posts, read 8,536,627 times
Reputation: 27468
Quote:
Originally Posted by CA4Now View Post
I disagree. When a class is composed of four, five and six year olds, even a few months maturity makes a HUGE difference. Months can make the difference between something as supposedly incidental as a child possessing the motor skills to hold a pair of scissors and cut, to pay attention to groups of words on a worksheet, etc. And unfortunately, they ARE competing....they're all placed somewhere on that statistical bell-shaped curve.
Then explain the millions that started early and are successful today. I'm sure some may have had problems, but they got over them. My sister was one. You can't blame everything on the age he was when he started. Remember the OP's kid started school on time, not early.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Education

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:29 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top