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The purpose is this post is to encourage parents of kids born between October and December to think long-term when deciding whether or not to send them to kindergarten at 4. Our son has a late November birthday, and when he was 4, all that mattered to us was that he was ready for Kindergarten. We didn't ask ourselves how he would do in high school or college. Thus, we sent him at 4, and he has ultimately been emotionally damaged because of it.
Now contrary to popular opinion, he didn't feel as bad about being the last to get his driver's license as one might expect. After all, it's a hard and fast rule in this country that if you're under 16, you're now allowed a driver's license. Thus, our son knew that his classmates weren't driving before him because of anything he had done wrong; he knew that it was just the law and there was no reason for him to blame himself. However, our son experienced other problems that I'm sure were an indirect result of his relative age. However, because these problems were an indirect result, he had a much harder time not blaming himself for them.
One such example is that he didn't make it into his high school's top orchestra until his senior year, while most of his orchestra friends made it in their junior year. Concerts were torture for him his junior year, as he had to sit in the audience watching his classmates perform some of the greatest classical pieces ever written.
Another example is that he failed Pre-Calculus his junior year, and had to retake it his senior year, meaning he graduated high school with no knowledge of Calculus. Whenever he got together with his friends to study during his senior year, he had to endure the shame of pulling out his Pre-Calculus textbook while all his friends pulled out their Calculus(and in some cases, Multivariable Calculus) textbooks.
But, most recently and most importantly, is that he failed to graduate from college in 4 years. Due to his immaturity when he entered college, he wasn't able to handle as much as most of his classmates, and the result was that he ended up falling a year behind. He should've graduated this spring, but he didn't. It's going to be another year before he graduates and he is miserable about it. These past weeks, he's had to endure his friends from high school as well as his friends from his first year at the university(including his old roommates) posting pictures of themselves in their caps and gowns on facebook. The moderator of that group, the other day, made a post saying, "Congratulations college grads!" which filled our son with shame. A parent of one of his friends from high school invited them to a college graduation party at their enormous house, to which our son had to gloomily decline. Even though he's graduating next year, the people he's going to graduate with are people he barely knows, whereas most people who graduate from college together have shared the full 4 years together, from start to finish.
I've never heard a parent say they regret redshirting, but I've heard many parents say they regret not redshirting, and now I understand why.
The purpose is this post is to encourage parents of kids born between October and December to think long-term when deciding whether or not to send them to kindergarten at 4.
Where do you live?
Kindergarten cutoff is August 1st in our district. Some are July 1st.
Sending a 4 year old is not even an option.
It is what we call holding them back until next year.
Interesting. Never heard that term. I am curious about the OPs location. Every school that my kids have been in, probably about a dozen between the 3 of them due to military, they had to be 5 to go to kindergarten. I have never heard of going when your 4.
IIRC, I never attended kindergarten (I'm 63), but back then we had a program called Head Start. I was 6 when I entered that program. Is it even still around?
IIRC, I never attended kindergarten (I'm 63), but back then we had a program called Head Start. I was 6 when I entered that program. Is it even still around?
I was in Head Start as well. Its still around in MN. Dont know if its everywhere, but my nephews were in it. I went in it when I was 4 and then into kindergarten when I was 5.
IIRC, I never attended kindergarten (I'm 63), but back then we had a program called Head Start. I was 6 when I entered that program. Is it even still around?
Yes, and it always was a preschool program in my area.
6 year olds went to first grade.
Interesting. Never heard that term. I am curious about the OPs location. Every school that my kids have been in, probably about a dozen between the 3 of them due to military, they had to be 5 to go to kindergarten. I have never heard of going when your 4.
Up until fairly recently many states had later cutoffs (some still do) for Kindergarten entry, typically between turning 5 by October or even later.
Three of my four kids have November birthdays, those three turned 5 the first couple months of Kindergarten.
None of them felt any sort of bad for being one of the youngest kids in class nor did they have any of the social/academic issues outlined in the original post. One did have some issues but he was an idiot (despite having both parents being teachers he didn't catch on for years that the answers were in the book!).
Last edited by North Beach Person; 07-03-2023 at 08:05 AM..
Location: Full Time: N.NJ Part Time: S.CA, ID, Coastal GA
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Just a personal anecdote.
Our oldest (boy) is 4. He is a late august bday, but was early, should have been mid/late September. We will likely hold him back to start. He is clearly very smart, but we think he would benefit from that extra year (where he should have been anyway if not born a few weeks early).
I'm a summer bday, and was always young for my class. I personally felt I would have benefited from another year of development. In fact, I took time off and worked between HS and college and found it tremendously beneficial.
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