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Not all kids have it within them to be so outspoken....and many have commited suicide due to being bullied.
Sounds as if the bully attitude rubbed off on you a little bit regarding that last comment.....
You don't have to be outspoken. You just have to be willing and able to stand up for yourself every once in a while. This is something everyone should be taught to do because you cannot always rely on someone intervening on your behalf, and even if they do, most of the time it's after the fact. I knew plenty of soft-spoken people who could (and occasionally did) deliver a swift smack-down when provoked and then quietly go back their unassuming lives. The creeps in my school quickly got wind of who was and who was not an easy target. Don't be an easy target and most of the time you won't get trouble if you don't look for it.
While it's often true that an aggressive response may shield someone from future bullying, the problem is that not everyone is capable of exerting enough power to do this successfully. The imbalance of power is why bullying exists in the first place. Self-defense lessons may not be enough to overcome the physical, emotional or social imbalances that lead to bullying.
I don't know what Disneyland you grew up in, but that's how it worked in my world.
Never been to Disneyland.
Maybe the bullies around me were smart enough to care about the authorities. And I was big enough that just the threat of a fight got most people to back down. And enough friends to usually outnumber them. (After middle school)
So, not sure what hell hole you grew up in... but for the most part, violence isn't the answer.
And yeah you have to stand up for yourself. And yes the majority of the bullies will take that asswhooping and go their way and find a softer target. At the same time, if a bully knows that the administration will interact if he's caught messing with you, he's not going to mess with you then either.
AND 2 good things happen there
1) The administration avoids a lawsuit on either side. and in today's sue-happy culture... administrations should be looking to avoid this.
2) The bully now has a precedent set, and if he's at all smart... won't screw with other kids either. Because, well... the trouble he's going to get in, won't be worth the reward and he'll just make fun of his friends like the rest of us do.
I have stood up to bullies in the workplace, with varying results. (I am not talking about physical assault here.) It depends on where you and the bully are in the pecking order. I agree that bullies pick on the weakest links. I have seen this in the schoolyard and elsewhere. I think some kids need a little help standing up for themselves. I also think there are no easy answers.
Oh I so wish that the Bullying laws made it where:
1. it was mandatory for the school to take action and not just sweep it under the rug to keep the reputation of the school good - you know that the schools in each county want to be the school that all of the parents want their kids to go to and the more that is found out that goes wrong at a school the worse that schools reputation is
2. also, I think that the consequences that the school imposes need to be harsher - not to just send the child home for an out of school suspension where the kid can take a vacation from school and do whatever he wants to do,
3. I think that it should be mandatory that a school resource officer file charges against the bully or he could lose his or her job,
4. that each state law made it where a judge could lock a child up for enough time to make an impact on the child that was bullying another student.
5. also, and this is an important one, that each and every student had a clear understanding of what it means to be a bully to another child and a clear understanding of the consequences.
6. cameras everywhere at school and I mean everywhere.
I happen to have an awesome child that is involved in sports, and is not a wimp, but who also has a kind caring heart, and who actually cares about people in general, he is a gorgeous, cool kid and every adult that I know really loves him. He has always been a school ambassador, and has always been voted by his classmates to get the citizenship award in his classes at school. As he gets older and goes into middle school and high school, I fear that all of these bullies will rain on his kind spirit and ruin everything, my fear is so huge about this that words can't describe it.
Oh and did I mention, that I think that adults that are bullies to kids just because they can be (and especially including parents), need to be punished with extreme consequences that will ensure that they won't bully another child ever!!!
Can you tell that I feel strongly about this? It's makes me sick! I used to work for a Juvenile Judge and judges can only give the consequences that the law will allow them to give, and sometimes you can tell that a child is going to go right back to school and do the same thing again.
We need harsher laws!!! If I knew what I could do to help, I would do it.
Unfortunately the child that gets injured and their parents are left to pay for the bully's behavior, no one else like the bully's PARENTS! I think after suing the school district, the parent of the child that is bullied, hurt or both should sue the bully's parents for monetary damages and for the child's medical bills and to have the bully be placed in a reform school by the courts. And yes - many of those bullies that were allowed to get away with this nonsense in school, grow up and make it to the working world where they usually display similar behavior and get away with it! A movement has begun by caring parents to give NOTICE to bully's, their parents or guardians that don't care. That movement is holding the school system, bully's and their parents accountable for whatever they do. FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark_22
I used to shrug off bullying as "part of growing up," but it dawned on me that behavior is occurring in our schools every day that would never be tolerated in a workplace situation. If someone assaulted me at work that person would immediately be fired and quite likely prosecuted in criminal court. If I were injured I would take that person to civil court and almost certainly recover money damages. When the same thing happens to students in our schools, a segment of our population less equipped to deal with it, we say "Tough luck kid. Boys will be boys."
I commend you for speaking up and just want to say the standard you set for your child should be the standard all PARENTS set for their children. If parents want to turn a blind eye to their children's bad behavior then the courts should be involved! The bullying laws are here to stay and hopefully become stricter. The parents that are opposed to it are parents of bully's themselves or parents that really don't care what their kids do. These parents are scared and know they will eventually be held accountable for their kids behavior!!!!!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by HParr
Oh I so wish that the Bullying laws made it where:
1. it was mandatory for the school to take action and not just sweep it under the rug to keep the reputation of the school good - you know that the schools in each county want to be the school that all of the parents want their kids to go to and the more that is found out that goes wrong at a school the worse that schools reputation is
2. also, I think that the consequences that the school imposes need to be harsher - not to just send the child home for an out of school suspension where the kid can take a vacation from school and do whatever he wants to do,
3. I think that it should be mandatory that a school resource officer file charges against the bully or he could lose his or her job,
4. that each state law made it where a judge could lock a child up for enough time to make an impact on the child that was bullying another student.
5. also, and this is an important one, that each and every student had a clear understanding of what it means to be a bully to another child and a clear understanding of the consequences.
6. cameras everywhere at school and I mean everywhere.
I happen to have an awesome child that is involved in sports, and is not a wimp, but who also has a kind caring heart, and who actually cares about people in general, he is a gorgeous, cool kid and every adult that I know really loves him. He has always been a school ambassador, and has always been voted by his classmates to get the citizenship award in his classes at school. As he gets older and goes into middle school and high school, I fear that all of these bullies will rain on his kind spirit and ruin everything, my fear is so huge about this that words can't describe it.
Oh and did I mention, that I think that adults that are bullies to kids just because they can be (and especially including parents), need to be punished with extreme consequences that will ensure that they won't bully another child ever!!!
Can you tell that I feel strongly about this? It's makes me sick! I used to work for a Juvenile Judge and judges can only give the consequences that the law will allow them to give, and sometimes you can tell that a child is going to go right back to school and do the same thing again.
We need harsher laws!!! If I knew what I could do to help, I would do it.
Can't we handle the small things ourselves anymore without turning everything into a federal case? Take the money you're spending on a lawsuit and get the kid some self-defense lessons. The minute he hands a bully's own ass to him is the minute he will never have to worry about being bullied again.
Oh, how I couldn't agree with you more! We can teach children "I feel you are...messages" etc, and that's just fine, but let's get real here - sometimes, all a bully truly understands is a size 8 boot upside the head.
Human nature - still the same after millions of years.
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My 2 cents
Your two cents are greatly appreciated!
We can teach children "I feel you are...messages" etc, and that's just fine, but let's get real here - sometimes, all a bully truly understands is a size 8 boot upside the head.
