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When my kid was in braces her dentist would rotate appointment times. If you had a morning appt, your next appt was scheduled for after school hours and vice versa. You didn't have a choice in the matter, but it seemed fair to me, pediatric dentists can't schedule everyone for after school.
I think it's backwards that kids and adults alike are able to take time off for funerals, but can't take time off to visit a dying relative before they pass on. I took my kids out of school to go visit my father and let them say their last goodbye to him. Call me crazy but I think that was much more important than letting them out of school to attend his funeral. And, yes, I lied about it too, because our school had the same dumb policy about only excusing a child for a death in the family or for personal illness. My place of employment has the same dumb policy so I lied to them too, especially as I have 30 unused sick days built up that they won't let me tap into unless it's a personal illness. So maybe you could just consider that your child has learned a lesson in real life.
A few things ;we are from a different country and I have never had a problem telling the teachers that we are going to Ireland for two weeks and I need to take the boys out of school for 3 days. Our teachers view that as educational as they are going to a different country.
However, one day my son said a bad word and another child told on him. The teacher asked my son what he said and he replied the word honestly. It was not the f word. Then the teacher gave him a demerit. I asked why and the teacher said it was not an appropriate word. I told her well you have just told my son to lie ; he wasnt rewarded for the truth. I try to teach him to tell the truth and now when he does,even if you didnt hear it initially, you punished him!! Yes, i think the word was not proper, but if she had just explained to him that it wasnt proper, he would have been ok. He was only 6 when this happened.
This is catholic school!! That teacher is not there anymore.
925mine, I see that now. That's not in the first sentence. And while I completely agree with DubbleT about spending time with the person before they die being perhaps more important, the "dying grandmother" card gets played too many times in some cases. I have dealt with this issue as a supervisor.
When my daughter was going to the orthodontist, they always scheduled the re-check appointments for after school. The initial exam had to be scheduled in the morning. I think this is appropriate.
I work in a pediatric office. It is amazing to me that some people call in with what seems like a life-threatening illness, but they don't want to take their kid out of school (our district requires a note from the dr. after 7 absences and our docs always comply), while others want to take them out to be seen for a cold!
As long as we call in about our kids being absent it is excused, kind of like as long as the parents know where they are its ok. We had to make an unexpected trip 3 years ago due to a death in the family, happened on a weekend. Luckily the HS principal lives behind us, I called him to let him know what was going on that we would be gone for a week or more. And there were no problems since a snowstorm hit the morning we planned on coming home and we were delayed a day longer than planned. The principal knew where we were.
Really, I think all this quibbling about WHAT the "family matter" was is stupid. The point is, the district will NOT accept anything other than "sick" as an excuse. So, if you have ANY OTHER VALID REASON for your child to miss school, you end up having to LIE in order for that absence to be excused.
I just don't get what they're trying to teach anymore.
Really, I think all this quibbling about WHAT the "family matter" was is stupid. The point is, the district will NOT accept anything other than "sick" as an excuse. So, if you have ANY OTHER VALID REASON for your child to miss school, you end up having to LIE in order for that absence to be excused.
I just don't get what they're trying to teach anymore.
They are trying to teach that they, not you as a parent, are in charge of your child. They are undermining your authority over your own children by saying that you basically have none.
Really, I think all this quibbling about WHAT the "family matter" was is stupid. The point is, the district will NOT accept anything other than "sick" as an excuse. So, if you have ANY OTHER VALID REASON for your child to miss school, you end up having to LIE in order for that absence to be excused.
I just don't get what they're trying to teach anymore.
Funny how schools want all the control, but complain when parents don't take the control.
It should make no difference what the 'family matter' is. If a parent takes a child out of school, the school should trust the parent did the right thing.
Frankly, it's none of the school's business if a parent takes a child out and says it's personal.
And lowering a grade for making an appointment is wrong. The child has no control over when appointments are made, so why punish him/her. That is so defeating to a child to work hard to earn good grades, only to have them lowered because he/she has braces, or regular doctor's appointments, or ANY appointments.
My high schooler doesn't even get dismissed until 4:15.
Back in the 70's when I was in elementary school, my mom could take me out whenever the heck she wanted, for whatever reason she gave. As long as there was no suspicion of "playing hooky", and there was an actual REASON for the absence, no one cared, and I ALWAYS made up my work. Often she'd be able to get it before the absence if it was a matter that involved leaving town and I'd do my work then.
Never did she have to jump through the silly hoops I have dealt with since having my own kids... like basically being told I HAD to take my son to the doctor for each absence when he suffered from allergies or it would not be excused, or their current school wanting a note if they stay home sick even though they've told me themselves that if it is not a doctor's note, then it's still unexcused (so why ask for a note from me!?).
This (among many other reasons) was why I chose private school for both kids for as long as I could afford it, which was up through 5th for the eldest and 3rd for the youngest, and why I would be homeschooling if I didn't have to work. I really resent my parental judgment being constantly questioned when it comes to absences. I'm their mother and that should be good enough without the freakin' third degree. I could understand if there were any other issues, the kids were doing poorly, etc. but that isn't the case. My kids are excellent students, have good grades, are well liked, don't "skip" (as in skipping after they're dropped off), don't get into trouble ever... if I need them to be absent and I make sure they do any missed work it should be up to me within reason.
I believe it is really all about funding. Yes, excessive absences can be detrimental, but IMO we're on the other extreme these days where nothing is "excused".
They are trying to teach that they, not you as a parent, are in charge of your child. They are undermining your authority over your own children by saying that you basically have none.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 925mine
Funny how schools want all the control, but complain when parents don't take the control.
It should make no difference what the 'family matter' is. If a parent takes a child out of school, the school should trust the parent did the right thing.
Frankly, it's none of the school's business if a parent takes a child out and says it's personal.
And lowering a grade for making an appointment is wrong. The child has no control over when appointments are made, so why punish him/her. That is so defeating to a child to work hard to earn good grades, only to have them lowered because he/she has braces, or regular doctor's appointments, or ANY appointments.
Funny how common sense eludes school officials. I agree with both of you. While school attendance is mandatory I see no need to pester responsible parents and excellent students over ridiculous matters like appointments or a death in the family. It can be addressed if/when it becomes a problem. Some kids show up to school every day and are still failing students, perhaps those students should get the extra attention, not the honors student who miss one class every 6 weeks to go to the orthodontist or misses a few days for a family matter.
I don't know where some of you live, but it is RIDICULOUS to suggest that all appointments should be after school. The offices aren't open late enough to accommodate all the patients in that time frame. DS doesn't even get home until 4:20 (it wouldn't be any faster if I picked him up at school instead of riding the bus), it is 15 minutes to the orthodontist so that leaves 25 minutes for the entire appointment...and that is if there is no traffic or delay. Adjustments take at least 30 minutes. I don't set the school schedule or the hours at the orthodontist or the school rules but I have to juggle them all.
The town we lived in last was so small that we didn't even have an orthodonist or dentist in town all the time. We had one of each who came to town once a week. People went during the work day and took thier kids out of school for appointments. The only other option was to take even more time off of school (or work) and drive 45 minutes each way for an appointment 'in the city'.
A child who misses only 3 days because of a family emergency is not a truant. However, truancy is usually based on overall attendance. The 30 day count, even though it doesn't usually start in August, is one of the most critical times for public school because of funding. If auditors come in and question student attendance, it can become a problem for the school (less funding).
Just like in any part of life, if you find it necessary to do anything, there is a consequence. No one should feel that they have to lie, so tell the truth and hope that teachers will understand and let your child make up the work. Every teacher has his/her own policies that may or may not agree with the school. However, if your child misses a lot of time, no one is going to believe that grandmom was very ill. That is a very old excuse, even if it is true in some cases.
As a parent, you can request a meeting with the principal and school superintendant and ask for consideration. Don't do it if your child has poor attendance.
This is a good time to sit down with your child and explain that some things are not fair but that it is important to tell the truth.
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