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I often my eyes to myself while listening to my friends drone on about how smart and advanced their kids are. Eliteism living vicariously through their kids.
I used to do stuff like that, exception being I could reassemble usually in working order. Eventually I became a mechanic.
It has been a long standing conspiracy of mine that the push to educate kids at an early age, stacking them with 2-4hrs of homework each night later in their school years, is preconditioning them to work longer hours and see it as normal.
I could reassemble them in working order. I was just fascinated by the idea that it looked just like the other pens but didn't work. In my mind, if it looked like a pen it should work like a pen. I think I thought that I willed the things around me to work . Somehow, I thought I controlled everything.
I ended up becomming an engineer. My brother, who took apart the TV, while it was still plugged in , because he wanted to show all the little people inside the Christmas tree, became a mechanic.
As to mommies bragging, I read, somewhere that 90% of mothers of 4 year olds think they are gifted. Obviously, about 98% of them are wrong. I think it's natural to want the world to see what you see in your child. I'm just not convinced that early learning does anything for the child. I have a 4 yo nephew with a photographic memory. His parents drill him all the time. One day my brother was playing ball with him outside and started drilling him. He told his dad "Daddy, my picture taker doesn't come outside when I'm playing". He just wants to be a kid. Granted a kid who remembers everything but how that will serve him is yet to be seen.
Last edited by Ivorytickler; 03-04-2012 at 04:22 AM..
I had no idea that people could lose it as they got older.
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Photographic memory is a rare element that is found in less than 10% of the population. It will often be found in children, and most of them will lose this ability by the time they become adults. The concept of photographic memory is so rare that someone people don't believe it exists.
I don't think early teaching does anything for the child. It seems more for the parents. Preschoolers don't need to be concerned with a right way or wrong way to do anything. There's plenty of time for that later. I think we need to let them be kids, let them explore their world and worry about whether or not they can recite the alphabet later. The world will not end if a 3 yo can't say his ABC's or count to 10.
I have no issue with preschool. My issue is early teaching. Preschool doesn't have to teach anything. They can go to learn how to share, play nicely and wait their turn just by being in a group. There's a reason our day care provider was a retired Montessori teacher. She used to tell us her job was to make sure our kids went home dirty and tired and she was good at it. Especially the dirty part.
I suspect we might be ahead of the game if we quit teaching kids before they go to school. I think there's a lot to be said for waiting until children are ready to learn. And there's something to be said for learning with your peers. Some are ready and some aren't when they are younger. You don't know which type you get until you try but I suspect you do more harm than good if you have one who isn't. We had a struggle on our hands teaching dd#1 the alphabet at 5. We were kind of worried they weren't going to let her go to kindergarten for a while there.
Dd#2 didn't read until she was 6 1/2. I can't imagine the damage we would have done if we'd joined the race to have her reading at 3 or 4, as parents so often do. She wasn't ready. We just let her do what she wanted to do.
I think it's great that you found a solution that worked for your kids.
The pre-schools I chose with great care worked well for all of us. Singing the ABC's, playing games that happened to teach numbers, playing with finger paint to learn the colors - I don't think any of that is too arduous. When I ask my kids what they remember about pre-school they will tell you about a certain toy, or child, or maybe the clean up song.
I wouldn't dream of saying to other parents who chose the more structured pre-school,
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Teaching kids early isn't for the kids. It's for the parents. It's so mommy can brag that her 2 yo knows the alphabet and nothing more.
People do what they feel is best for their child. I don't think most of us do it for any bragging rights. Did you choose not to send your kids to pre-school so you could say that your kids didn't need it because they were so darn smart? Of course not (even though that's maybe true). You chose what you did because you loved your kids and wanted what you felt was best for them. Please give the rest of us parents the same respect for choice.
I don't think early teaching does anything for the child. It seems more for the parents. Preschoolers don't need to be concerned with a right way or wrong way to do anything. There's plenty of time for that later. I think we need to let them be kids, let them explore their world and worry about whether or not they can recite the alphabet later. The world will not end if a 3 yo can't say his ABC's or count to 10.
I have no issue with preschool. My issue is early teaching. Preschool doesn't have to teach anything. They can go to learn how to share, play nicely and wait their turn just by being in a group. There's a reason our day care provider was a retired Montessori teacher. She used to tell us her job was to make sure our kids went home dirty and tired and she was good at it. Especially the dirty part.
I suspect we might be ahead of the game if we quit teaching kids before they go to school. I think there's a lot to be said for waiting until children are ready to learn. And there's something to be said for learning with your peers. Some are ready and some aren't when they are younger. You don't know which type you get until you try but I suspect you do more harm than good if you have one who isn't. We had a struggle on our hands teaching dd#1 the alphabet at 5. We were kind of worried they weren't going to let her go to kindergarten for a while there.
Dd#2 didn't read until she was 6 1/2. I can't imagine the damage we would have done if we'd joined the race to have her reading at 3 or 4, as parents so often do. She wasn't ready. We just let her do what she wanted to do.
I think most of us (including myself) agree that early teaching doesn't do much for the child and can even a detriment for a lot of kids, including my dd that I mentioned in an earlier post. The problem is that preschools (particularly state funded ones that are in a lot of states) are under a lot of pressure to get kids "reading ready" before they start K because of the high stakes testing that is making its way into earlier and earlier grades. For example, here in GA they start the testing in 1st grade. Not too many parents *want* their child held back in kindergarten, and they buy into the (what I firmly feel is a false) notion that earlier is better.
I agree with the majority, and it's why we've chosen to homeschool our kids. They weren't pushed or prodded to learn to read and do basic math... they just did so when they were ready. My son read at 7 1/2, my daughter at 8 1/2. Now at 11, my son reads well above grade level, and at almost 9, my daughter reads on grade level (yes, she's only been reading for a few month and reads like a third grader!). It's been the same with math.
We're considering sending them to school again in the near future (they went to a debacle of a charter school that closed after 4 months... major, major problems there!), but I don't know if I want to bother, since it will be about high-stakes testing... I wish there were a happy compromise for parents who don't necessarily want their kids learning in 45-minute "chunks" and taking useless tests, but still want some learning to take place outside the home/away from mom. (They do take some outside classes, but I'm ready for them to spend several hours away from home on a daily or several-times-weekly basis.) We thought that the progressive charter school that we had found would be the answer but yikes, we were very wrong!
I think most of us (including myself) agree that early teaching doesn't do much for the child and can even a detriment for a lot of kids, including my dd that I mentioned in an earlier post. The problem is that preschools (particularly state funded ones that are in a lot of states) are under a lot of pressure to get kids "reading ready" before they start K because of the high stakes testing that is making its way into earlier and earlier grades. For example, here in GA they start the testing in 1st grade. Not too many parents *want* their child held back in kindergarten, and they buy into the (what I firmly feel is a false) notion that earlier is better.
OTOH, many parents are keeping children out of Kindergarten for an extra year especially boys.
In 2008, the most recent year for which census data is available, 17 percent of children were 6 or older when they entered the kindergarten classroom. Sand tables have been replaced by worksheets to a degree that’s surprising even by the standards of a decade ago. Blame it on No Child Left Behind and the race to get children test-ready by third grade: Kindergarten has steadily become, as many educators put it, “the new first grade.â€
What once seemed like an aberration — something that sparked fierce dinner party debates — has come to seem like the norm. But that doesn’t make it any easier for parents.
There are no good studies about whether the practice is good or bad, but people are doing it. There are many states that are changing the cutoff date as well.
My son's birthday fell in December so I didn't have to hold him back one year but I would have if his birthday was earlier in the year. He just wasn't ready.
I think most of us (including myself) agree that early teaching doesn't do much for the child and can even a detriment for a lot of kids, including my dd that I mentioned in an earlier post. The problem is that preschools (particularly state funded ones that are in a lot of states) are under a lot of pressure to get kids "reading ready" before they start K because of the high stakes testing that is making its way into earlier and earlier grades. For example, here in GA they start the testing in 1st grade. Not too many parents *want* their child held back in kindergarten, and they buy into the (what I firmly feel is a false) notion that earlier is better.
In our area kids are tested in 2nd grade. Those that "make the cut" have the option of enrolling in advanced academic courses. Those that don't make the cut stay in "regular" classes with their other "average" (or below average or merely above average) peers. After 2nd grade the kids are out of the advanced academic "screening pool". So at 7 years old, their academic track is set in stone.....
Or at least that's the way the whole process can make a parent feel.
And we wonder why 90% of the parents brag about their gifted preschoolers.
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Last edited by springfieldva; 03-04-2012 at 03:23 PM..
There are no good studies about whether the practice is good or bad, but people are doing it. There are many states that are changing the cutoff date as well.
I was referring to parents not wanting their child to have to do kinder twice.
Starting kindergarten a year late is becoming pretty common where it is allowed, and I wish more states would allow it. In my state, the cut off is Sept 1. While kinder is not compulsory here, they would then have to start 1st grade the following year. With all of the expectations our 1st graders have, including testing, I imagine that would make things even more difficult for the child. I like the idea of moving the cut off date to get around all that.
There are no good studies about whether the practice is good or bad, but people are doing it. There are many states that are changing the cutoff date as well.
As you probably know, this has been going on for decades. It seems that every time the cutoff date is changed, it just results in people holding back a different subset of kids. For ex, if the cutoff date is Sept. 30 (as in my district), people hold back kids with "summer birthdays", which sometimes means May as well. If you bump the cutoff back to July, parents start holding back kids with spring birthdays.
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my eyes to myself while listening to my friends drone on about how smart and advanced their kids are. Eliteism living vicariously through their kids. 
, because he wanted to show all the little people inside the Christmas tree, became a mechanic.
