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I have a very well-behaved child in 5th grade in a small school. This school has been quite authoritarian (you can't bring up any concerns without fear of retaliation!) for many years. I would have home-schooled a long time ago were it not for my husband who thought it wouldn't work. I think a child shouldn't live in fear every day of being punished for any small infraction. I think they should at least first get a warning. Also, children are humans and probably more likely to commit the ultimate infraction of bringing the wrong notebook to class. I also think many teachers are power-hungry and bullies to children. I know there are also a lot of nice teachers, but how can the bad ones keep their jobs for so long? My son has been stuck with one certain teacher who has been there forever and was evidently born without an ounce of patience. You have to have patience to teach kindergartners. This teacher teaches every grade from K-8 music and computer classes. Both my sons were so frightened of her they wanted me to sit in on her class with them and I did when they were in kindergarten. This woman you would think would be on her best behavior knowing a parent was right there. But she was so impatient with any kid who couldn't remember something it was astonishing and it makes me want to cry knowing those innocent 5 year olds have to put up with her.
Complaining to the administration does no good since they're following policy set by the school board. That is where you should direct your questions and concerns over discipline policy. And the school board is reacting to what is sees as the desires of the public.
Suspensions are measured and rated under NCLB, as are incidents that require police intervention. Those results are published and schools are rated on safety from those statistics.
It's called drawing a line in the sand. If you enforce "minor" issues, you don't have to deal with big ones.
When my step son was little, he didn't like going to church or having to dress up so we argued every Sunday about him wearing a tie. He, rarely, wore one but I never had to argue with him about going to church or wearing dress slacks and a nice shirt . Sometimes, you pick battles to control the battleground. Dress code violations are one area where I've seen administrators do this. By enforcing dress codes, there is a whole host of other issues they never deal with. Some kids just have to push the boundaries. Setting those boundaries back where you don't mind dealing with them is a good idea.
It's called drawing a line in the sand. If you enforce "minor" issues, you don't have to deal with big ones.
When my step son was little, he didn't like going to church or having to dress up so we argued every Sunday about him wearing a tie. He, rarely, wore one but I never had to argue with him about going to church or wearing dress slacks and a nice shirt . Sometimes, you pick battles to control the battleground. Dress code violations are one area where I've seen administrators do this. By enforcing dress codes, there is a whole host of other issues they never deal with. Some kids just have to push the boundaries. Setting those boundaries back where you don't mind dealing with them is a good idea.
Excellent point.
I'd also say the best way for kids to overcome their fear of punishment in school is to actually be punished a few times. Then they see it's not that big a deal. The fear of it is far worse than the reality.
I'd also say the best way for kids to overcome their fear of punishment in school is to actually be punished a few times. Then they see it's not that big a deal. The fear of it is far worse than the reality.
The punishments for those minor offenses are minor too. Keeps everything on the low side.
You know, if schools only punished major offenses, then parents would complain that we were waiting until things were so bad we were throwing the book at the child. We can't win.
The punishments for those minor offenses are minor too. Keeps everything on the low side.
You know, if schools only punished major offenses, then parents would complain that we were waiting until things were so bad we were throwing the book at the child. We can't win.
That's right. Punishing minor offenses often prevents major ones. Kids need to rebel in one way or another, and if smaller infractions are ignored, they'll step their offenses up to the level that is pushing the limits.
I'd always err on the side of a stricter school. Without discipline, no learning can take place. And it's good for kids to learn that being punished isn't that big a deal. I think parents do them a disservice when they act as if being punished by the school is such a huge deal. It isn't.
I was punished in school many times. I spent many hours either sitting in detention or doing work details after school. The fear of it was much worse than the reality.
It seems that schools are forgetting that these are children who will make mistakes and that these mistakes should be used as teaching opportunities.
Strict consequences ARE teaching AND learning opportunities. You're SUPPOSED to learn from them. I'm a big fan of strict policies and consequences. It's a lot easier to be strict and then lighten up than to start out too lax and then try to toughen things up. Zero tolerance garners a lot more respect than wishy-washy policy following. A no-nonsense disciplinary policy is really the only good, consistent way to go. By ignoring minor infractions, all you do is set a tone that rule-breaking is tolerated, and that's setting yourself up for some pretty ugly snowballing. Consistency and boundaries are key.
Strict consequences ARE teaching AND learning opportunities. You're SUPPOSED to learn from them. I'm a big fan of strict policies and consequences. It's a lot easier to be strict and then lighten up than to start out too lax and then try to toughen things up. Zero tolerance garners a lot more respect than wishy-washy policy following. A no-nonsense disciplinary policy is really the only good, consistent way to go. By ignoring minor infractions, all you do is set a tone that rule-breaking is tolerated, and that's setting yourself up for some pretty ugly snowballing. Consistency and boundaries are key.
You're right. Discipline is a learning opportunity. It has its routes in the word "teach," not punish.
If schools ignore infractions, they are teaching something too -- that you don't have to follow rules in life. This is just unrealistic.
Schools are supposed to teach more than book knowledge.
I went to both strict and lax schools. I would take a strict school over an overly lax one any day of the week, even though I was sometimes subject to their discipline. The overall environment there is more conducive to learning.
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. Sometimes, you pick battles to control the battleground. Dress code violations are one area where I've seen administrators do this. By enforcing dress codes, there is a whole host of other issues they never deal with. Some kids just have to push the boundaries. Setting those boundaries back where you don't mind dealing with them is a good idea.
The punishments for those minor offenses are minor too. Keeps everything on the low side. 
