Help! My 4 year old does NOT want to learn!!! (SAT, school, computers)
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I agree with everyone on here. I seriously doubt a 4 yr old "doesn't want to learn". What he may not want to do is sit still. That is normal - especially for boys. He doesn't start school for almost an entire year. Why don't you enjoy him now, provide more active and tactile learning experiences for him and worry about school when/if you need to? Relax. Regardless of what some other, very competitive parents try to tell you, mostly all that stuff evens out as they get older anyway.
My son loved to learn and is extremely advanced academically, so it's not always a boy thing. :-)
The easiest way for kids to learn is to make it part of everyday life, especially those who are less inclined to do the desk/paper/pencil type of learning.
When serving food, for example, instruct him to take 2 spoonfuls of vegetables, 10 raisins, and 3 chicken fingers.
When it's bath time, give him the sponge letters/numbers and have him locate certain ones and hide them in the bubbles. Do the same with colors.
While driving look for letters of the alphabet on the signs in alphabetical order-A in albertsons, B in bread, C in coke...etc. See if you can find all the letters before you reach your destination.
Anytime you are not in motion, find common shapes in things around you. The table is a square/round, the napkin is a rectangle, the stop sign is an octagon.
Use things like a Magna doodle to play pictionary with him....draw a simple picture and have him guess what it is. Also, write his name or other words he can identify and have him guess what they are. Good ones are familiar words, such as McDonald's, Target, Toys R Us, from signs that he sees frequently. Or toys he plays with all the time - Thomas the train, legos, Hot wheels, etc.
For other fun ways to practice writing/drawing, use sidewalk chalk, shaving cream on a table, salt in a dark pan, watercolors.
When you see birds in the lawn, count how many, discuss what size they are, what color they are and where they might live or eat.
Help him to spell out his name using legos while he's building other things. Ask him to give you just blue ones to do that with. Then make a pattern and ask him to give you the next color.
All these types things are in his normal daily activities that you are simply extending. It's fun and easy as well.
We kept our grandson at our place of business for a couple of years. I always took him to the bank with me. As we walked along the sidewalk, I made a point of saying, "let's count the cars." He quickly learned to count them by himself.
I would also get him to look at the names or other lettering on the cars. I would say things like, "How many letters in this car's name? Four, they are F, O, R, D. That spells Ford." It got so that he also got interested in spotting certain cars.
You could do the same sort of thing, pointing out certain letters, and counting cans in the supermarket. You don't have to make a lesson out of it. He will absorb a lot just by hearing you say it. He'll learn that there is a use for letters and numbers. Say things like, "two cans of beans and three of corn is how many cans?" If he doesn't answer, just say five, and show him how you counted them.
My son is supposed to start school in the fall of 2009. He is 4 years old, and I am so worried that he's not going to be ready. I cannot for the life of me, get him to count or learn his alphabet or almost anything! He knows the basic count to 5, ABC, all his shapes and colors. The detailed things though he just gets so bored with so quickly, no matter how I try to come up with different ways for him to learn! His younger sister, who's 11 months younger has picked up on EVERYTHING and if my son doesn't learn what he needs to soon, he's going to be held back and end up in the same grade as his sister. That worries me long-term for him. Please, please any suggestions on ways to interest his learning????? Help!!!!
Relax. He's four. He does not need to know all of this. So very much happens in a year's time, and chances are that in a year he'll be all "caught up" to his kindergarten peers.
How are you "teaching" him? When you give him cookies or pretzels or baby carrots, just count them out to him. Ask him if he'd rather have 10 M&Ms or 5, and then have him count out his answer. Sing the ABC song to him after his bedtime story each night.
This is really not worth getting stressed out over... just enjoy him, he's so little!
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Originally Posted by BABsMom
My son is supposed to start school in the fall of 2009. He is 4 years old, and I am so worried that he's not going to be ready. I cannot for the life of me, get him to count or learn his alphabet or almost anything! He knows the basic count to 5, ABC, all his shapes and colors. The detailed things though he just gets so bored with so quickly, no matter how I try to come up with different ways for him to learn! His younger sister, who's 11 months younger has picked up on EVERYTHING and if my son doesn't learn what he needs to soon, he's going to be held back and end up in the same grade as his sister. That worries me long-term for him. Please, please any suggestions on ways to interest his learning????? Help!!!!
Please, for your son's sake - CHILL! I'm the mother of twins (now in their twenties) and I understand your concerns - however, your munchkin is still developing. The biggest mistake I made was in sending my sons to school too early and worrying too much about the other children!
Take a deep breath - remember that boys come up to speed a whole lot later - enjoy your 4 year old. It goes by faster than you can possibly imagine!
My son is supposed to start school in the fall of 2009. He is 4 years old, and I am so worried that he's not going to be ready. I cannot for the life of me, get him to count or learn his alphabet or almost anything! He knows the basic count to 5, ABC, all his shapes and colors. The detailed things though he just gets so bored with so quickly, no matter how I try to come up with different ways for him to learn! His younger sister, who's 11 months younger has picked up on EVERYTHING and if my son doesn't learn what he needs to soon, he's going to be held back and end up in the same grade as his sister. That worries me long-term for him. Please, please any suggestions on ways to interest his learning????? Help!!!!
Most boys develop slower than girls, so I think it's unrealistic for you to compare him to his sister. It also could be the case that he's very sensitive and that he senses your desperation, which "freezes" him and causes him to focus more on your distress than on his task. Perhaps, another person can teach him the alphabet or teach him how to count.
Thanks for all the great ideas! I'll be sure to try and incorporate the new ones into what I already do with him. I have looked into a half day preschool, 5 days a week, and he can start after Winter break. I'm considering that too, it'll just be so hard to be away from him!! I probably do need to chill out a little more, I just hear about "my 3 year can read!" or "listen to my 2 year old do her entire alphabet!" and it makes me wonder if he should as well. I know he has his own pace, I just have to get used to what that is, I guess. Thanks so much and have a wonderful Christmas holiday!
Goodness, how worried young parents are!!!
Sitting down and learning didn't appeal to my kids at all. I used reverse psychology (Mom, whatcha doin'? Reading. Can I ? No, you're too little - this is BIG PEOPLE stuff. AWWW, Moooom! OKAY, c'mere, I'll show you, but just for a minute.), and lots of hands-on, real-time stuff - how to cook and measure, how to figure out things like WHY. Instead of asking, "Mom, why is the sky blue?" My 4 year old asked, "Mom, what's a Quasar?" Don't let them watch the sappy, "instructional" children's TV shows; watch Discovery Channel with them. We learned about art through a program on PBS where an artist actually showed how to draw things; we had paper and paints at the ready when his show came on Saturday mornings! Sure, they didn't make gallery quality paintings, but they DID learn shapes and colors, light and dark, and depth.
My kids were far ahead of everyone else when they started, simply because we didn't get 'lost' we had 'adventures', explored new things, went to the museums and zoos, and constantly expanded their realms of experiences. From experiences come knowledge... not just from books. Also from experiences comes a long-lasting desire to learn about them, more and more. You don't need money - you need TIME to invest with them, have fun, and play. EVERYThing is a learning experience - IF you know how to make it so. Even having an adult swimming pool party teaches them that beer floats, and pop sinks - now, let's find out WHY.
Oh, BTW, we learned silly songs from the old Electric Company and other shows - they are now on YouTube and even purchasable in stores. "Conjunction Junction, What's your Function?" ring a bell? Rhythm and music are excellent learning tools as well!
My son is supposed to start school in the fall of 2009. He is 4 years old, and I am so worried that he's not going to be ready. I cannot for the life of me, get him to count or learn his alphabet or almost anything! He knows the basic count to 5, ABC, all his shapes and colors. The detailed things though he just gets so bored with so quickly, no matter how I try to come up with different ways for him to learn! His younger sister, who's 11 months younger has picked up on EVERYTHING and if my son doesn't learn what he needs to soon, he's going to be held back and end up in the same grade as his sister. That worries me long-term for him. Please, please any suggestions on ways to interest his learning????? Help!!!!
Let him do what he likes to do, and try to inject instruction into that.
Bear in mind, I'm a teacher and this works... it's worked especially well with music lessons (you can't be too creative in public school). Take a kid who isn't that interested in learning music and tell him you'll let him play the music he loves to listen to in his free time... guess what... now you've got a motivated learner on your hands.
I agree with some previous posts... he's 4. He might be a slow-learning 4, but he's 4. One of these days he might take off running in an educational sense and surprise the heck out of you. Until then, just let him watch a lot of Sesame Street. You can't go wrong with that.
Thanks for all the great ideas! I'll be sure to try and incorporate the new ones into what I already do with him. I have looked into a half day preschool, 5 days a week, and he can start after Winter break. I'm considering that too, it'll just be so hard to be away from him!! I probably do need to chill out a little more, I just hear about "my 3 year can read!" or "listen to my 2 year old do her entire alphabet!" and it makes me wonder if he should as well. I know he has his own pace, I just have to get used to what that is, I guess. Thanks so much and have a wonderful Christmas holiday!
My dd show early interest in the letters and she actually knew the entire alphabet. Then my MIL came to visit and tried to force her to learn to read. After that whenever I mentioned the letters she would tell me she didn't want to do that anymore. Pushing can backfire.
My pediatrician told me I should follow my dd lead and never push. Too bad my MIL wasn't there for that conversation. She also told me that all kids even out around 1st or 2nd grade.
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