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Come on, folks, it is not about the child disliking PE class. In fact, it's not about the child at all - the parent is the one not to invite back, the child just suffers by extension. The school is under no obligation to put up with this parent beyond their agreed upon enrollment this year. A private school has the option to set its own criteria for who it admits - this parent would only likely cause further grief for the school and the child. And while I feel bad for this kid, it is the parents job to raise him, not the school's. Maybe this will be a wake-up call for the parents, but I doubt it.
My kids are at a private school so I fully understand that private schools can make their own rules. However, it seems like the behavior of the parent, while difficult does not rise to the level of throwing a child out of school. Parents should be allowed express themselves when unhappy and not fear that their child will be thrown out of school.
As far as the parents being over protective I wonder if the OP is ready to throw out all kids who have over protective parents or if they only throw out the ones who have PITA parents?
My son has a friend who is 15 and his mother still lays out his clothes and packs his food for wrestling matches. She also won't let him spend the night away from home!! They rarely speak to school administrators because he is a well behaved kids and gets good grades but the fact remains that his parents are extremely overprotective. Would you throw him out of school because his parents are ridiculously over protective or do you just throw out the kids when they are overprotective AND you don't like them?
There has been other isolated incidents regarding this child and his mother within the last year. There seems to a pattern of overprotecting her child beyond reason. If the child is, indeed "sensitive" as you suggested in your last post, the protection and advocacy may be necessary. As an outsider, you may not be in a position to determine if it is "overprotecting". Two examples off the top of my head.
1) This particular parent approached another parent in the morning before school started and began arguing with her because her son said that he was being picked on by the other parents son. Did you personally witness this interaction or is it simply hearsay and/or gossip?Do you know for a fact whether the allegations of bullying have any merit?Were the parents actually confrontational or merely discussing? "Arguing" is such an emotional word.
2) Another elective teacher has informed this parent that he easily gets frustrated to the point of crying in class when he gets frustrated. Again, if the child is sensitive, this may be a typical reaction for him. I'd assume he doesn't like doing it, especially in front of others and I bet he does not choose to do it.It just happens and probably causes him more humiliation than the incident that triggered the tears.
3) Earlier this year she complained to the music teacher because she felt that an assignment given to the class which required a little research of music history had nothing to do with music. "Complained" or inquired?
It is a delicate situation, but in my opinion an unhealthy pattern of being too overly protective of her child. While at the same time even interfering with teachers objectives. Nothing wrong with being concerned or involved in a childs education endeavors, but it may be getting to the point that this parent interferes and objects to standards and expectations where it may make her son feel uncomfortable and situations where getting a good grade is in jeopardy.
One of the many reasons parents pay to send their child(ren) to private schools is the expectation that the child(ren) will be afforded a bit more personal attention than they might in a public school. Middle School is particularly challenging for many children and even moreso for the "sensitive" child (or one who is dealing with depression or social or generalized anxiety or any number of things).
I can't speak for all private schools, of course, but at our school, our teachers, staff and administration seemed very able to tailor their work to the needs of each individual child, including those who might be called "sensitive". Perhaps this teacher may need some more training in dealing with sensitive students (and their parents)?
As a side note, I don't think I would "recommend" that the child be seen by a mental health professional, but I might gently and tactfully "suggest" it. Semantics, I know, but "suggesting" sounds a bit less aggressive to me. No matter which way it is presented, however, I do agree that the child (and the parents) may benefit from an independent, professional evaluation.
Please note, I'm not saying this parent isn't a PITA; she very well may be. Her intentions may be good, but perhaps her tactics may be misguided. Without hearing her side of the story, without knowing anything about their family dynamics, without observation of the whole situation, it's difficult to say whether she's over-reacting.
*** Warn the parents that any other attempts to try to disrupt the environment by gossiping with other parents of her dissatisfaction with the teacher will result in her son being removed by the school.
*** Recommend to the parent to have their child evaluated by a mental health professional, as their may be other issues that need to be addressed.
*** Instruct the parents to no longer communicate with this teacher. Any complaints, comments, or dissatisfaction is to be addressed to the school counselor or principal.
*** Inform the parents to look for another school for next school year, allow the child to finish this year, but next year he will not be allowed back.
*** Or, simply ask the parents to withdraw their child from the school immediately before problems escalate.
Should one or a couple of the above options be exercised in this situation.
I think just about all those suggestions are terrible. It sounds to me that yes, the parent is difficult, but if you work in any sort of institution that deals with the public, you are always going to have to deal with this type of person. I deal with similar situations on a regular basis in the healthcare field, working with caregivers who may have personality issues, be overly concerned, etc.
I doubt the child needs a mental health evaluation, but if the teacher/administrator thinks so, why not get the school psychologist or at least the school guidance counselor involved? These are the professionals who are qualified to make that judgement.
To tell the parent to no longer communicate with the teacher is absurd, and in my opinion, sends a terrible message. The teacher should be counseled on how to work successfully with difficult parents.
To decide the child needs to go to a different school, because of difficulties with the parent's personality, implies failure on the part of the school, and is another poor suggestion. And there is no way you can force someone to not voice their complaints to other parents.
In my opinion, there needs to be better communication with the parent. If the teacher and/or administration is acting defensive, the parent is going to become even more defensive herself. The professionals need to take a deep breath, and remain professional, courteous, and caring. Also, if she is acting overly defensive, she's not having a lot of trust into the school or at least the teacher. The teacher and administrator needs to work on rebuilding that trust, by showing a genuine concern for the child. To me, it sounds like the school and the parents need to set mutual goals, which I would think for this situation would be A. increasing the child's self-esteem, and B. increasing the child's physical fitness. How can this be accomplished? Does the child show any interest at all in any other physical activity, and if so, could he join an extra-curricular group participating in this activity? Can the parents, or some other family member, be encouraged to practice running with him at home, so he increases his ability, therefore improving his grade AND increasing his self-confidence? Also, where is dad in this picture? Can he be brought in? Can he offer anything to this situation?
The school should ensure an appropriate member of the administrative team is assisting with this challenging situation. By that, I mean someone with excellent communication skills, and the ability to help smooth things over between all involved parties. The ideal situation would be the child increases his confidence, does well in class, mom relaxes, the teacher isn't being insulted, and everyone wins.
Best of luck.
I think just about all those suggestions are terrible. It sounds to me that yes, the parent is difficult, but if you work in any sort of institution that deals with the public, you are always going to have to deal with this type of person. I deal with similar situations on a regular basis in the healthcare field, working with caregivers who may have personality issues, be overly concerned, etc.
I doubt the child needs a mental health evaluation, but if the teacher/administrator thinks so, why not get the school psychologist or at least the school guidance counselor involved? These are the professionals who are qualified to make that judgement.
To tell the parent to no longer communicate with the teacher is absurd, and in my opinion, sends a terrible message. The teacher should be counseled on how to work successfully with difficult parents.
To decide the child needs to go to a different school, because of difficulties with the parent's personality, implies failure on the part of the school, and is another poor suggestion. And there is no way you can force someone to not voice their complaints to other parents.
In my opinion, there needs to be better communication with the parent. If the teacher and/or administration is acting defensive, the parent is going to become even more defensive herself. The professionals need to take a deep breath, and remain professional, courteous, and caring. Also, if she is acting overly defensive, she's not having a lot of trust into the school or at least the teacher. The teacher and administrator needs to work on rebuilding that trust, by showing a genuine concern for the child. To me, it sounds like the school and the parents need to set mutual goals, which I would think for this situation would be A. increasing the child's self-esteem, and B. increasing the child's physical fitness. How can this be accomplished? Does the child show any interest at all in any other physical activity, and if so, could he join an extra-curricular group participating in this activity? Can the parents, or some other family member, be encouraged to practice running with him at home, so he increases his ability, therefore improving his grade AND increasing his self-confidence? Also, where is dad in this picture? Can he be brought in? Can he offer anything to this situation?
The school should ensure an appropriate member of the administrative team is assisting with this challenging situation. By that, I mean someone with excellent communication skills, and the ability to help smooth things over between all involved parties. The ideal situation would be the child increases his confidence, does well in class, mom relaxes, the teacher isn't being insulted, and everyone wins.
Best of luck.
I totally agree with this. Especially if a parent is choosing a private school for their child, they expect their concerns to be taken seriously. And really, would you want your child under the tutelage and supervision of a teacher that you're not allowed to contact? It seems like there is a control issue on the part of both the school and the mother. Like it or not, the parent has the right and responsibility to make sure that her child is receiving an appropriate *for him* education. She's his best advocate. That said, she's choosing to relenquish some of the control over what happens to her child in choosing to send him to school, so there needs to be some give and take. Throwing the child out of the school or making threats is absurd and unprofessional at best.
I've worked in private schools before. Some of the parents can be a little demanding. Still, all parents have a right to be heard. If the parent is wrongly accussing the teacher of picking on her child, then her concerns need to be discussed. If I were the teacher, I would invite the parent to come and watch the class. This might ease her concerns. I'm sure that the gym teacher has far too many student to pick on one. Perhaps the child is projecting those negative feelings because he doesn't not like the class. Children rarely say, I don't like the class, but I enjoy the teacher. They see them as a whole (does that make sense?)
Regardless, if the child does not like gym, then he has to suck it up.
As others have said, if the parent is unhappy with the school, then they should think about a new school that would meet their needs. It has been my experience that the private school would have the right to tell this to the parents. This is not the same as expelling the child. No child would be expelled for not liking a class. That is silly.
Of course parents are encouraged to voice any concerns they may have. Another thing is to complain about school approved policies and lesson plans, and kind of "twist" their arms into dropping certain objectives, and making "exceptions".
As far as being overprotective; that is the parents business. I too agree that it is not a schools call to make judgements on how a parent raises their kids as long as there isn't any evidence of abuse.
Of course schools are going to have parents that are PITA, the problem is when those PITA parents cross the line of harrassing teachers, ignoring student and parent expectations, and are CONFRONTATIONAL with other parents and teachers. Even to the point of demanding that certain classroom projects in progress be taken home( of course, so the parents can do them not the child), when it is specifically classroom projects to be done at school.
When a school has standards, set curriculum, policies, and parents demand to change them, and constantly expect "exceptions" for their child, as well as agressively confront other parents and teachers, it gets to a point that by a school ignoring those issues, or after trying to compassionately resolve them to no avail. some type of action may have to be taken.
After all, teachers are paid to do a job and to adhere to administation expectations, and being a private school, other parents PAY as well to have their children attend. Failure to prudently act may
A) Cause other parents to withdraw their kids
B) Or, may give other parents the message that policies and rules are "OPTIONAL" and create even more problems down the line by encouraging other PITA parents to try to run the school.
At this point, it is up to your administrator to protect you. If the parent is unhappy, then the family should leave. Why pay for something you are unhappy about?
Of course parents are encouraged to voice any concerns they may have. Another thing is to complain about school approved policies and lesson plans, and kind of "twist" their arms into dropping certain objectives, and making "exceptions".
As far as being overprotective; that is the parents business. I too agree that it is not a schools call to make judgements on how a parent raises their kids as long as there isn't any evidence of abuse.
Of course schools are going to have parents that are PITA, the problem is when those PITA parents cross the line of harrassing teachers, ignoring student and parent expectations, and are CONFRONTATIONAL with other parents and teachers. Even to the point of demanding that certain classroom projects in progress be taken home( of course, so the parents can do them not the child), when it is specifically classroom projects to be done at school.
When a school has standards, set curriculum, policies, and parents demand to change them, and constantly expect "exceptions" for their child, as well as agressively confront other parents and teachers, it gets to a point that by a school ignoring those issues, or after trying to compassionately resolve them to no avail. some type of action may have to be taken.
After all, teachers are paid to do a job and to adhere to administation expectations, and being a private school, other parents PAY as well to have their children attend. Failure to prudently act may
A) Cause other parents to withdraw their kids
B) Or, may give other parents the message that policies and rules are "OPTIONAL" and create even more problems down the line by encouraging other PITA parents to try to run the school.
This is a whole different set of issues than you presented in your first post.
To the question about PE, some kids just plain aren't built for running. My daughter, as healthy as she is, just isn't a runner. She always had trouble in PE when they were required to run. She can do lots of other stuff, but running isn't one of them.
I played sports in high school, but was never any good at running. I think form might have something to do with it, but don't be so hard on the kid because he can't run.
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It seems like there is a control issue on the part of both the school and the mother. Like it or not, the parent has the right and responsibility to make sure that her child is receiving an appropriate *for him* education. She's his best advocate. That said, she's choosing to relenquish some of the control over what happens to her child in choosing to send him to school, so there needs to be some give and take. Throwing the child out of the school or making threats is absurd and unprofessional at best.
