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Old 05-14-2009, 04:51 PM
 
Location: Virginia
1,938 posts, read 7,104,491 times
Reputation: 878

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So we have this third grader who throws tantrums daily if he doesn't get his own way and refuses to do work. Have you heard of him??!! I am sure you know of one too. I am sure PBS programs have been tried, tried, tried....
You all know the story, suspensions, parent conferences, etc.
So, field trip time! Watch out zoo! Mom pitched a fit that he wasn't being allowed to go due to his behavior- consequences of his behavior. Well, mom showed up the day of the field trip with her son and said she would also go if he could go. Sorry, no can do. Must follow through on consequences. So, guess who signed him out of school that day and showed up at the zoo! Yup, mom and son. She choose a group to follow the entire day even though no one acknowledged that they were with them, but then again what do you think if the child is trying to interact with the other students all day?! Mom couldn't control him- he thew rocks at the animals, tried to climb fences, and long story short, ended up in the emergency room because he tried to crawl over a bathroom stall and tore his leg up. Of course, the entire time they were there, mom was browsing the zoo in her own world while her son was doing this and that leaving the teacher and docent trying to control him.

So what do you do? He is barely a third grader. This has been going on all year and will only get worse.

And I hate to say it, but so many of our parents are like this. The worst part is that these parents are active duty military parents in the army. Our school is essentially a ghetto school with the type of families we serve.

Another kiddo has porn on all day at home. His parents have been busted many times, he has been sexually abused, and he is still at home! Yes, reports have been made, but will someone explain to me why this child is still at home?

I have an illiterate active duty parent. Dad is sped himself and depressed/rarely gets out of bed. How do you get into the military if you can't read?!

Another mother was running a brothel out of the home while DH was deployed. She was never kicked out.

There are more drugs and drive-by shootings on base than elsewhere in the city.

Sorry I am just venting. This isn't the way it used to be and I know there is nothing you can do about the parents. We can only do our best with the kids, work hard at teaching them academics and somehow teach morals and values. I think what really gets me is I read how schools need to let parents be the parent and HOW??! My parents don't make our kids bathe, brush their teeth, wear clean clothes, or pick their child up from school. Our kids sit in the office after school waiting to be picked up for a couple of hours.

AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!
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Old 05-14-2009, 08:51 PM
 
3,422 posts, read 10,878,030 times
Reputation: 2006
I'm sorry you have such a population at your school, but I certainly don't want anyone to assume from your post that all military families are like this. I certainly hope that was not your intent.

We are military and, of the two schools we have had our children attend, military families have been a very small percentage of the population. The first was a private school, plus we chose to buy in a neighborhood that was not the most popular with the families living off base because I wanted my child to be in a classroom environment where most of the kids were not dealing with deployments. We currently live about 45 min from the base, and there are, again, hardly any military families. The one military family I know is a guy who works with my husband.

I have no experience with public schools that have a majority of military families. I ran into someone I know whose kids do attend the public school that is on base while on a field trip to the zoo, and the kids were well behaved and there were a lot of parents, about as many as came along on our field trip. The reason I make this point is that when our class has done field trips into the city (the next school district over from ours) we have gotten comments on how we have a lot of parents compared with other school groups.

I agree that your situation with the parents and the kids' living situations is poor. If you feel a child is endangered by a situation at home, you can call family advocacy at the base (post) and report them.
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Old 05-15-2009, 06:26 PM
 
Location: Virginia
1,938 posts, read 7,104,491 times
Reputation: 878
Oh no, not all military families like this! No, no, no, no. That was not my intention. We have to beg our kinder parents to join us on a field trips. We do call the MPs and family advocacy/ social services, I just don't understand how if drugs, abuse, porn, prostitution is discovered in the home, how is it that the child is still there? There seems to be no consequences...
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Old 05-15-2009, 09:50 PM
 
3,422 posts, read 10,878,030 times
Reputation: 2006
I don't understand that either. That kind of stuff should get them busted in rank and in serious trouble. My SIL (AF) used to work in the position that was the officer equivalent of a first sergeant (not sure if the army has a different name for it but it is the person you have to go see in your unit when you are in trouble) and she saw some doozys. And I know when we lived on a Naval Air Station, Navy personnel would get Captain's Mast for all sorts of things. I don't know how the Army handles things.

My school is the only elementary school in the district that is not Title 1 - we have a lot of stay at home parents who are at the school a lot. What is nice though is that we always seem appreciated and get thanked for being there. I really like that. At our old Catholic school, it seemed that no amount of help was good enough.

I wonder if you have a lot of first term-ers. Some people enlist and learn that they really don't like the military, but are stuck. And many enlist already having kids and have a really hard time supporting their family on E-2/E-3 pay (we had our first when dh was an E-4 and money was tight, I don't know how these families with multiple kids that enlist with dependent waivers do it).
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Old 05-16-2009, 09:42 AM
 
Location: Virginia
1,938 posts, read 7,104,491 times
Reputation: 878
Yup, first timers, young "kids" with kids themselves, deployed on their fourth tour, and it is army. Their housing reflects the "projects" if you ask me. Apartment style housing that are about 800 sq ft made of brick and cinder block. I have mommies with 5-7 yr olds who are 24 yrs old and with 3 kids already.
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