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Ok, my sister calls me yesterday and tells me her school loving first grader asked not to go to school. He said he was sick. He was not all that ill so she sent him. That night, he begged her not to go to school the next day. She told him to suck it up, that he wasn't that sick. A few minutes later he takes off running for the bathroom. When he comes out, my sister asked him if he had diarrhea. He sure did...not only that but that day the teacher would not allow him to go to the bathroom until the scheduled time so he ended up crapping his pants in class! How humilating! Needless to say, he stayed home the next day. If it were my kid, I would tell them to ask once and if she said no, than say they REALLY needed to go and if she still said no, walk out and go anyway.
I agree with you 100%, I know I make it a rule in my class, especially with older 4th graders that they go to the bath room before school, during their recess, and during their lunch recess.
Here is the problem, because some kids forget to go to the bathroom, and wait til they get back to class to ask to go, this causes problems for teachers in the classroom who have to teach. I can't wait until they get back to teach the entire class. After they leave, that have missed 2-5 minutes of precious instruction. You may think that isn't a lot of time---IT IS. I'm not defending your nephew's teacher, but I am almost certain that the problem is with many of her 1st graders always needing to go to the bathroom during their instructional time of day.
Another problem too is that some kids make it a habit to deliberately ask to go to the bathroom because they DON'T want to do their classroom or pay attention when I am teaching.
That becomes a problem for me because on one hand if I don't send them to the bathroom and they crap on themselves, then I am look at as a mean bad teacher, and then on the other hand if I let them go when they don't have to really go, and they miss out on the instruction again I am looked at as a bad teacher for letting them go--even though they are manipulating me by doing that gotta go to the bathroom dance.
Some parents don't understand how serious this issue is, especially in elmentary school. I can't just send that one child to the bathroom because my district feels that they would be safer going in pairs just in case someone may be lurking in their bathrooms to molest them. So a child, who doesn't have to go to the bathroom, has to also miss out on his instruction by going to the bathroom with another child.
As a rule, I monitor what kids go to the bathroom a lot, and ask parents about their child's frequency to use the bathroom. If the parent tells me that his or her child is abusing going to the bathroom, the parent tells me to let them know. Sometimes when a student asks me can they go to the bathroom, I ask them to wait. If they come back to me in about 5 mins or less, then I know that they really have to go. IT'S REALLY TEACHERS MAKING A GOOD JUDGEMENT CALL. It's unfortunate that the teacher didn't make one for your nephew.
Some parents don't understand how serious this issue is, especially in elmentary school. I can't just send that one child to the bathroom because my district feels that they would be safer going in pairs just in case someone may be lurking in their bathrooms to molest them. So a child, who doesn't have to go to the bathroom, has to also miss out on his instruction by going to the bathroom with another child.
Thank you so much for saying this, because it was on my mind as well.
IT'S REALLY TEACHERS MAKING A GOOD JUDGEMENT CALL. [/quote]
I agree-and you can't have good judgment with a policy that prohibits kids from using the bathroom. Monitor and correct with those kids taking advantage of the situation. In my original post, I stated this type of policy is put in place by the teacher for manipulation--I intended manipulation by the kids. And to another previous poster, needing to use the bathroom in the car or the grocery checkout line is not the same, at all. Then you are under the control of your parents, and if you stand in line for half an hour, you are certain to need the bathroom eventually, And yes, I have pulled over when my daughter needed to go.
The real problem is the inflexibility shown by not just this teacher, but the acceptance of these types of dim, dark policies in our schools. It's hard work to make good judgment calls and sometimes you make mistakes. It's easier to deny kids the right to use the bathroom, at the expense of a bit more calcification of your soul and developing hatred, cynicism and passive/aggressive behavior in your students. As a previous poster noted, the small things that happen to us as children loom large in our lives later on. The first rule as a teacher should be the same as for a physician--first, do no harm.
Not all teachers are as strict about this. I've never had a child have an accident because they asked to go to the bathroom and I said no. Most of the time when I say no, it's because I know they just went. Now, on the other hand, some children do not ask and just go on themselves. I never understood that. I guess they are still learning to control it.
"The first teacher you describe does not fit with what we are talking about, in other words, it's off-topic.
Kids can and do develop temps quickly. In addition, I had a friend who worked in the health room of an elementary school (school nurse, if you will, though she's not a nurse and most health room personnel are not). Anyway, the stories she could tell. One day, two little girls came in with vague complaints. After while my friend heard one whisper to the other: "Math is over, we can go back now". There was a miracle recovery! Again, if I were a teacher, I'd probably let a child go to the health room if s/he said s/he was sick."
It's not off-topic as it was brought up before about the teacher having a vendetta against the child, and the fact that some teachers do not treat students the way that they should.
Yes children can develop temps quickly, but when a child says they do not feel good a teacher should always send them to the school nurse, it is better to be cautious, and let the nurse decide if they should be sent back to class.
My cousin told her children, after one had an accident in class, that if she really had to go and the teacher refused to just get up and go, and she would speak to the teacher after.
I think it says a lot that young students are afraid to just get up and leave and go to the bathroom and instead have accidents. Because that is what it is, fear.
Yes children can develop temps quickly, but when a child says they do not feel good a teacher should always send them to the school nurse, it is better to be cautious, and let the nurse decide if they should be sent back to class.
Some teachers have little actors and actresses who want to go to the nurse every single day. You find out pretty quickly who they are. Then it becomes a judgement call. The nurse would not be able to accommodate every single child who wants to go to the nurse, at least in my school. The nurse has to handle dispensing meds (including most frequently inhalers), children who are injured in the classroom or yard, in addition to those who fall ill. I do not envy their jobs and have a lot of respect for them. Teachers cannot send every child to the nurse because many of them do "cry wolf".
Some teachers have little actors and actresses who want to go to the nurse every single day. You find out pretty quickly who they are. Then it becomes a judgement call. The nurse would not be able to accommodate every single child who wants to go to the nurse, at least in my school. The nurse has to handle dispensing meds (including most frequently inhalers), children who are injured in the classroom or yard, in addition to those who fall ill. I do not envy their jobs and have a lot of respect for them. Teachers cannot send every child to the nurse because many of them do "cry wolf".
That's true! My friend I referenced above once made a list of "frequent flyers" and who their teachers were. Most of them came from the same several teachers. My friend also said most weren't that ill, or even ill at all.
The issue of child manipulation will always be present in any environment. I'd like to raise this actual event, which will hopefully make some people more aware of their practices. The Arizona Boys Ranch was a really effective juvenile justice system, relying on reality therapy, work contracts with the Forest Service et. al., constant staff supervision, lots of physical activity--it really worked well. There was also a hands on component, meaning staff could put hands on a resident, which was really effective with gang kids who had real power issues. The Oracle campus functioned for years before a resident went to see a nurse, complaining of fatigue. After repeated visits, staff accused him of faking it. And residents did fake a lot of stuff--they didn't make it to the Ranch by being well-adjusted citizens. Finally the kid collapsed and died due to a lung infection.
I think it is important to realize that children will manipulate, and to control the most egregious examples, but to error on the side of compassion and caution. Now that is very difficult to do in our current educational system with 30+ students, but I do believe it is the ideal.
She is going about this more quietly than I would. I would be more outraged and be enrolling my child in therapy and pressing charges against the district to pay the bills for the trauma they caused my child.
It is good that your sister is more sensible . Therapy for a bathroom accident really. That would really traumatize the kid. The bigger deal is made out of this the more it will linger in the kid's mind.
I think it says a lot that young students are afraid to just get up and leave and go to the bathroom and instead have accidents. Because that is what it is, fear.
I think that this is key. Children are taught from preschool age that they should always do what an adult says. This is a great way to create victims! Just as a child is taught to say "NO!" when someone is touching them inappropriately, they should be taught to say "YES!" when an adult tell them that they are not allowed to attend to their basic human needs. I remember being in afternoon kindergarten and the teacher having a rule that kids could each go potty one time during the course of the half day. I agonized over this, tried to wait as long as I possibly could, etc... because I did not want to go within the first hour and then know that I was not allowed to go for a few more hours until I got home. I also remember playing outside, getting hot and sweaty, and then the teacher giving us each 10 seconds at the water fountain.
Things like water and bathroom use are basic human needs that children should not be denied in school, and should not be scheduled. Kindergarteners may only be two years out of diapers! Why are they expected to "hold it" like adults and pee on a schedule?
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. Therapy for a bathroom accident really
. That would really traumatize the kid. The bigger deal is made out of this the more it will linger in the kid's mind.
