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I was watching the National Spelling Bee on Television last night and noticed a few things about the kids who were participating. Many of their families were from India and others were complete nerds. I could see them getting beat up after school or not having any friends.
The impression many adults have about people over 20 who have a real high IQ is they lack common sense and social skills. Many are perceived as just plain weird. Is this true in the high school or college level also? How were the kids who were the top of their class? Did they have any friends or social skills? Did they have any emotional intelligence, or ability to handle life's challenges?
Studies have shown that gifted children often have a hard time fitting in with their peers, partially because they have a heightened sense of morality and sensitivity. For example, they would be reticent to stoop to use the term "nerd" to describe someone for fear of hurting the other person's feelings. HTH
I'd be cautious not to set aside gifted students as being socially out of whack from their peers. Many of those that I've taught fit in well with others but at the same time, they "know themselves" in such a way where they will not do some of the goofy things we think of as normal behavior for teens. If there's one quality most have in common, it was a quiet confidence that it was OK not to be like everyone else, but in a way that respected others.
Ran with the ultra smart in a super-competitive high school and also ran with the jocks. Did not notice any more deviant social behavior in the nerd group than in the jock group. Did notice that the nerd group was more likely to spend time hanging out playing games or going to the museum vs drinking/drugs.
I was watching the National Spelling Bee on Television last night and noticed a few things about the kids who were participating. Many of their families were from India and others were complete nerds. I could see them getting beat up after school or not having any friends.
How do you know they are nerds? Certainly you can't glean much from seeing them on TV for a few minutes.
Is there something wrong with being from India?
The impression many adults have about people over 20 who have a real high IQ is they lack common sense and social skills. Many are perceived as just plain weird. Is this true in the high school or college level also? How were the kids who were the top of their class? Did they have any friends or social skills? Did they have any emotional intelligence, or ability to handle life's challenges?
I think there are kids with high IQs who are socially awkward, but there are also kids with very low IQs who are socially awkward.
My son is a very very good student and most of his friends are also very smart. They all have very good social skills. Most of them are on sports teams, debate team, band, and participate in other social events. My son is pretty popular as are many of his friends. However, there are socially awkward kids who are also very smart. Those kids are sort of nerdy, but it's NOT because they are smart, it's because of the inability to handle social situations.
I think we need to be careful not to assume that all smart kids are socially awkward. It is the social awkwardness that makes these kids seem nerdy, not the fact that they are smart. A smart kid who is socially adept is not a nerd.
I think there are kids with high IQs who are socially awkward, but there are also kids with very low IQs who are socially awkward.
My son is a very very good student and most of his friends are also very smart. They all have very good social skills. Most of them are on sports teams, debate team, band, and participate in other social events. My son is pretty popular as are many of his friends. However, there are socially awkward kids who are also very smart. Those kids are sort of nerdy, but it's NOT because they are smart, it's because of the inability to handle social situations.
I think we need to be careful not to assume that all smart kids are socially awkward. It is the social awkwardness that makes these kids seem nerdy, not the fact that they are smart. A smart kid who is socially adept is not a nerd.
Agree w/your post.... My kids are in a gifted school (my son was actually the school runner-up for the Natl. Spelling Bee). They are also very involved in music and sports and have good social skills. There are so many stereotypes out there though. For example, I think because my son plays football, people are surprised he's also in the gifted program (just doesn't fit the jock stereotype).
My daughter is a pretty blond and is constantly being underestimated. In fact, she was 1 of 3 girls in her grade chosen for a select gifted math/science program (the other 2 girls were Indian and Chinese). She also doesn't fit the stereotype. I remember at the beginning of the school year, there was a class math contest and my daughter told me all her classmates assumed the quiet Asian boy would win. She was a bit upset that her classmates didn't think she had a chance. She proved them wrong and won the contest. She now wants to be an engineer.
Speaking to my graduating high school class, variable. Some were poorly socialized, others were not. Our valedictorian, while kind of a dick, was also a star basketball player, so reasonably popular by the rules of high school. Our salutatorian, too, was student body president. Both these guys went on to interaction-heavy fields, one is an MD, the other an attorney. Neither was particularly awkward, though one was much nicer and more friendly than the other.
For example, I think because my son plays football, people are surprised he's also in the gifted program (just doesn't fit the jock stereotype).
Yeah I played football and baseball (excelled at baseball), and although people that didn't know me might have thought I was a jock because of that or wearing sports clothes, obviously in a baseball uniform... was definitely not that. I always had to leave practice for NHS meetings as I was a chair on that as well. Was kind of weird as I fit in both crowds, but, by the real jocks and nerds on both sides, it was looked down upon... Like, why are you playing baseball??? uhhh I'm good at it? Or, why are you missing practice for some stupid academic club...(b/c I'm smart?) It wasn't until I got to university where I met more well rounded people.
We had academic eligibility requirements for athletics. If you weren't a good student, you weren't on the team.
I was always heavily into the arts to the exclusion of athletics, myself, and my brothers were all athletics, no arts/academic/etc. clubs or groups. But my youngest sibling, my sister, was the kid who did everything. She was National Honor Society, basketball team, softball team, tennis player, danceline/cheerleader, was in the concert and marching bands, was drum major, was in choir and vocal jazz and wrote for the literary magazine. Certain factions of each "circle" were constantly trying to get her to ditch one activity for another...and it wasn't even the students, it was the ADULTS in charge. Her cheerleading sponsor and band director, for instance, were always pulling her opposite directions because they were resentful when one's practice infringed upon the other's, and each was always trying to get her to quit the other. Lame.
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