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Put simply....kids in 4th grade based on a Dec 1 cut off date will have birthdays from
12/1/99 thru 11/31/00...compared to a Sept cut off having birthdays from
9/1/99 thru 8/31/00
Your math may seem correct at face value, but your logic is way off. Where he moved from, the law is that children must be 5 yrs old before Oct 1 whereas in Fla the law is that children must be 5 before Sept 1. That means this boy may well be the youngest child in the entire 3rd grade of any school in the entire state of Fla! In reality there will be many kids 1 yr older than he and a few even 2 years older than he is in his class! That's not fair to him on many different levels.
You are thinking a few months difference when you should be thinking 1 to 2 yrs difference! The medium difference lies between there somewhere! There is no beginning date of 9/1/99... many kids entered kindergarten older than that.... it's more like 9/1/98 thru 8/31/00 and a few born even earlier than that if they had to repeat say 1st grade or 2nd grade, or were sick, or their parents kept them back before kindergarten...etc.
But I do agree not to make him repeat 3rd grade as that can be psychologically damaging and as someone pointed out he may be extremely bored. Let him do something else for a year, if possible.
Last edited by ReadNCoach; 07-12-2009 at 01:35 AM..
Reason: needed to be more explicit here
Have you asked him about how he feels about the situation? Repeating a grade is something that will follow him all the rest of his school life. It's not something that most people would consider a thing to be proud of.
My oldest son was the oldest in his class. He was also the smallest. He was shorter than even the shortest girl. He didn't begin to grow until high school. He's middle aged now, and still short. Both of his younger brothers were head and shoulders taller than he was. You just don't know when, if ever, boys will start their growth spurt.
I think you would be making a big mistake to hold him back. It's also a mistake that couldn't be corrected. Let him at least TRY the fourth grade. If he begins to struggle, then think about taking him out of school for the rest of the year and enter the fourth next fall. Don't worry about the social bit. Not all children are socially minded. And, unfortunately, children tend to "look down" on kids that repeat a grade. They don't understand and they think that the child is dumb or something.
Don't try to decide which is best based on how YOU would feel in his situation, think more about what he wants.
Cigarboo, I commend you on your decision. With your son's birthday being Oct 29 (oh my!), he's way too young to be in that class.
Because of my interest in education, I have been reading the messages at PA-Unschoolers : Pa-Unschoolers and there is most likely a similar group in Florida.
From all the horror stories I've read, please do not contact the school at all until you get advice from the local unschoolers in Fla, also there's a website I found... UnSchoolers Online ~ Florida Support Groups that has lots of homeschooling links... but I would suggest you unschool rather than homeschool,
The theory of unschooling is best modeled by the Sudbury school... Sudbury Valley School • Other Schools
click on the About us tab and especially read what the students have to say... A similar method was used by Bill Gates at a San Diego HS with wonderful results.
Unschooling has nothing to do with a building, it's more an approach to learning by doing and exploring. Let your son explore Fla and all it's natural resources for a year in a way that utilizes the 3 R's.
Trust me, if you let the school know who you are and where you are... you will regret it.
Not sure what unschooling has to do with a choice between third and fourth, but I'd love to see someone start a separate thread about it.
Your math may seem correct at face value, but your logic is way off. Where he moved from, the law is that children must be 5 yrs old before Oct 1 whereas in Fla the law is that children must be 5 before Sept 1. That means this boy may well be the youngest child in the entire 3rd grade of any school in the entire state of Fla!
Not bloody likely. Skipping grades, while not common, is not unheard of. Each of my kids, while in school, had a couple of friends who were a grade ahead of where s/he should be.
If mine returned to school, they'd need to skip at least once, if not twice. I don't know that I'd shoot for twice, but once would absolutely be on the table-- and honestly, since many high school classes are mixed grades anyway, it's not such a big deal. In middle school it might be, but middle school is going to be Lord of the Flies time no matter how old he is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ReadNCoach
You are thinking a few months difference when you should be thinking 1 to 2 yrs difference! The medium difference lies between there somewhere! There is no beginning date of 9/1/99... many kids entered kindergarten older than that.... it's more like 9/1/98 thru 8/31/00 and a few born even earlier than that if they had to repeat say 1st grade or 2nd grade, or were sick, or their parents kept them back before kindergarten...etc.
Probably not first or second, but once you get into the mandatory hold-backs in third you start seeing them drop like flies in some schools.
Have you asked him about how he feels about the situation? Repeating a grade is something that will follow him all the rest of his school life. It's not something that most people would consider a thing to be proud of.
I think you would be making a big mistake to hold him back. It's also a mistake that couldn't be corrected. Let him at least TRY the fourth grade. If he begins to struggle, then think about taking him out of school for the rest of the year and enter the fourth next fall. Don't worry about the social bit. Not all children are socially minded. And, unfortunately, children tend to "look down" on kids that repeat a grade. They don't understand and they think that the child is dumb or something.
Don't try to decide which is best based on how YOU would feel in his situation, think more about what he wants.
My twins were in a similar situation as the OP and when they transfered to another school I had them repeat 3rd grade to be with same age peers. There was no shame, they WANTED to be with children within their own age range, not children 1-2 years older than them. They wanted to make friends, take summer programs together, and have the chance to be placed with their friends in the same program (which is age-based). The children in their class didn't even know that my kids repeated 3rd grade, since they started at a new school (very similar to the OP). Grade placement isn't something kids normally talk about.
It was the BEST decision for my children. And I have a feeling it will be in the best interest for the OP's child, too.
I believe you need to follow your gut instinct. I also fell that you need to talk to the educators (this is their expertise) and discuss the issues ~ please be open minded.
I think I understand what you are saying, my child was the youngest in all the classes and this was a difficult situation. If I had it to do over again, I would have started said child a year later. Being the youngest in class is very difficult from what my child went through.
Good luck to you and please post and let us know what the outcome is. Also, do send the principal an email now and let them be aware of the situation. The beginning of a school year is very busy and with the principal knowing that you have been working/thinking about this all summer you should be in the front of the line when the appointment is being made.
Your math may seem correct at face value, but your logic is way off. Where he moved from, the law is that children must be 5 yrs old before Oct 1 whereas in Fla the law is that children must be 5 before Sept 1. That means this boy may well be the youngest child in the entire 3rd grade of any school in the entire state of Fla! In reality there will be many kids 1 yr older than he and a few even 2 years older than he is in his class! That's not fair to him on many different levels.
You are thinking a few months difference when you should be thinking 1 to 2 yrs difference! The medium difference lies between there somewhere! There is no beginning date of 9/1/99... many kids entered kindergarten older than that.... it's more like 9/1/98 thru 8/31/00 and a few born even earlier than that if they had to repeat say 1st grade or 2nd grade, or were sick, or their parents kept them back before kindergarten...etc.
But I do agree not to make him repeat 3rd grade as that can be psychologically damaging and as someone pointed out he may be extremely bored. Let him do something else for a year, if possible.
The reality is that it IS just a few months difference between the two grade levels. The likelyhood of it being over the normal 1 year span (1 yr + 3 months in this case) is very limited to perhaps a child or two who didn't start school as scheduled or a child who has already been held back. That's the exception, not the rule and in most cases won't be but maybe 2 kids in any given classroom.
Each class will always have an 'oldest' and 'youngest' and each class will always have a 'tallest' and 'shortest'. None of those should be a sole factor in making a decision such as this, because you have no control in your age or height. You do have control over your own academic, physical, social and emotional abilities. Those should be the factors focused on. Not age and size.
History has proven that age and size have nothing to do with academic or social success.
Mybe, just maybe, this little guy could be his own exception to the rule and flourish greatly in 4th grade if given the chance while being the youngest in class.
However, like I posted before, if mom has been doubting his academic abilities all along and he's been struggling, then repeating might be in his best interests.
The reality is that it IS just a few months difference between the two grade levels. The likelyhood of it being over the normal 1 year span (1 yr + 3 months in this case) is very limited to perhaps a child or two who didn't start school as scheduled or a child who has already been held back. That's the exception, not the rule and in most cases won't be but maybe 2 kids in any given classroom.
No, you can count on way more children than just one or two. Just among my son's group of friends, two children have birthdays six and seven months AHEAD of the grade birthday range. One started kindy in a private school which wanted him a year older, so they waited a year to start him in kindy (then a couple of years later transfered to public school, with him having a birthday less than midway among those in a grade older), and the other boy moved from a different state with a different cutoff. Both of those sutuations are very normal, and the result is that some children are WAY older than others in the same grade (whose birthday fell within the grade level birthday range cutoff), and for children younger than the cutoff, it's an even bigger age range difference.
No, you can count on way more children than just one or two. Just among my son's group of friends, two children have birthdays six and seven months AHEAD of the grade birthday range. One started kindy in a private school which wanted him a year older, so they waited a year to start him in kindy (then a couple of years later transfered to public school, with him having a birthday less than midway among those in a grade older), and the other boy moved from a different state with a different cutoff. Both of those sutuations are very normal, and the result is that some children are WAY older than others in the same grade (whose birthday fell within the grade level birthday range cutoff), and for children younger than the cutoff, it's an even bigger age range difference.
I'm confused. How is two in your son's class way more than the two in any given classroom that I stated?
I'm confused. How is two in your son's class way more than the two in any given classroom that I stated?
I didn't say two in my son's class. I said just among my son's close friends that are in his grade (around 6 really close friends), there are two boys that are older and should be in a grade ahead. My daughter's close friends include one girl with a birthday that should place her a grade ahead, too. With 300 kids in their grade level, I don't think my kids just happen to know all the kids who should be a grade ahead. There are more. And none of the kids they know were held back academically to repeat a grade.
Just two in a class that are older? No way.
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