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I'm 21, and I met my half sister a little over 2 years ago. I won't get into that story here. lol. She is now 16 years old.
As it turns out, my sister is dropping out of high school this year. I don't know what to do. I wasn't raised with her (my biological) father. He never pressured her to go to school. This runs contradictory to what I was raised to believe. I know school is extremely important and am happy to be graduating from college next year.
I don't know what to say to her. Being that I am so new to her life, I don't feel as though I am in the right to tell her she is doing the wrong thing. So far, I have just played the cool big brother card and told her to do what makes her happy. She needs to graduate from high school though!
I am going to see her in two weeks and I want to at least give her a direction to follow in life. I don't think graduating high school is an option anymore. She is so delinquent and has already been to jail for assault and stealing.
What should I do? I want to lecture her on what options she has in life, but I have no clue what those options are. Do you guys know of anything I can tell her that can put her on at least a decent path?
This is so heartbreaking for me. When I went searching for the other half of my blood, I wasn't expecting them to be this much of a wreck....What worse is that my 11 year old half brother on that side is following completely in her steps. Goodness.....I don't know how to help them.
What a tough spot to be in! First I'd find out why she is dropping out. Is there a problem at the school or with a group of people? Maybe transfering or even home study would be more appealing to her.
Then ask her what her plans are, what are her goals and such? Does she want to get her GED? Let her know how your life has been, and where it is going, so she knows what can be done with an education.
My son just graduated from high school in June, and my daughter 4 years before that, and both knew several people who just did not fit into the whole high school environment, it actually pained them to be there. Of the ones I knew personally two got their GED and started taking classes at community college almost immediately, one bummed around for months and got bored since everyone he knew was still in school, so he got his GED a few months after that and and started working, but it's been a struggle for him. And one completed high school via independent study. They also knew several kids who went to a continuation school and got their diplomas that way.
The fact that she has been in jail for assualt is a huge red flag that something is wrong, but she could also be feeling unworthy because of what she did.
Just let natural selection take its own course. If she's competent, she'll find her way back on her own. Otherwise, dropping out could be a sign that she has reached the limits of her abilities and there is no more room for her to move up.
The only thing you can show her is what life she could have if she went to school. Other than that it is out of your hands. Just be there when she decides to change her ways.
Another thought, I am sure there are nonprofit organizations who deal with youth at risk. They should have more help for you.
Just let natural selection take its own course. If she's competent, she'll find her way back on her own. Otherwise, dropping out could be a sign that she has reached the limits of her abilities and there is no more room for her to move up.
I think what you first need to do is make sure you and her bond, connect. Once you do that, she may listen more to your guide and advice. She is 16 and who knows she would love to have the love and guidance of a brother she probably never had.
Once you do that, you may then try to find out WHY she does not want to go to school anymore. Once she tells you why, then work it from there. If there is room for her to still keep school as an option, offer to help her finish it with school work and support.
If she is still determined to do so, you may still help her get her GED with your help and then maybe try to go to some type of trade school on something she would like to do.
However, when you encourage her to stay in high school you may approach it from the angle that you would like to have a chance to be the brother she did not have and will be there for her. This can be done once you both connect and start bonding. Approach it from the standpoint of giving it a try a little longer with your support and see how she likes it. She still may have the option of leaving if she wants to.
The killer will be if she feels pressured, do be careful that in your zeal to help her you do not come across that way with her.
I hope this helps, good luck and wish you and your sister the best together in making up for time lost.
Is it possible that your biological father is discouraging her from going on to college? Maybe she doesn't see how she can afford college. Is money tight in that family? Maybe she wants to drop out in order to get a full time job so that she can buy herself nice clothes. Maybe she is focused on short term goals, not long term ones.
Start off by telling her to at least get her high school degree. Having one is a great help when looking for a job that pays more than minimum wage. Find out what subjects are giving her problems.
My ex boxx was a HS dropout of 9th grade. Many years later he achieved a PhD. Droppping out is not the end of humanity but it really could start a new beginning...However, I would not want her to drop out not matter what her circumstances.
HS is kinda slow for the fast and furious so may I recommend an alternative and it has to be accomplished immediately after one school is terminated. A short term target of completing her HS education through a free of charge GED program. Many in her class could bring her to believe that school is very important and should display to her how important HS is because it it the basis of any degree oriented program. Does she understnad that the military will not take her without a HS diploma? She could not fight for our great country without being a t least basically educated....WOW....
In a GED class she may be the youngest particiapant and it will show her that there are older students looking for a diploma they missed. SO why should she regret finishing it now?
If she comes to florida some Bars will not even take her as a waitress without a HS diploma of some kind....She cannot even sweep street for the City of Phila without a HS diploma...
So I wonder what she has in mind and you can help by just thinking how she is going to support herself. Please drill into her head......
Discuss her plans to make a living and earn rent. My family allowed me to live at home as long as I was continuing my education. After that it was $300/month in the early 80s.
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