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Old 10-05-2009, 10:18 PM
 
1,450 posts, read 4,243,901 times
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I just got an email from my son's teacher telling me I'm scheduled for a meeting tomorrow at 10 am to discuss various "issues" They didn't ask if it would be convenient, just said I'm scheduled for a meeting. And no, this isn't a regular parten/teacher meeting.

You'd think they would at least afford you the courtesty to ask if a time would be convenient for you. It just so happens tomorrow is out of the question, due to prior committments that cannot be rearranged. I'm not too sure what this meeting is all about, expect that it will include about 8 staff and administrative personnel. Like they;'re ganging up on me!

I just wrote them back that I cannot attend the meeting, and gave them some alternative dates. They said tomorrow is the only day they can all get together. Well, then have the meeting without me, tomorrow is the only day I cannot meet with them. I asked what it was all about but didn't get a clear answer, just "to discuss some issues with your child to ensure a successful year" I don't know if this is a regular meeting or something special in our case, but regardless, I'm not jeopardizing my job to run over there when they demand it. Rghey don't jeopardize their jobs!

I told them this Friday, or if that won't work, please communicate their concerns by mail or email and I would be happy to see what input I could offer. What else could I do?
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Old 10-06-2009, 06:29 AM
 
3,422 posts, read 10,883,053 times
Reputation: 2006
Is it an IEP meeting? With that many people it surely sounds like one. Did you request a formal evaluation or does your child already have an IEP or 504?

I know at our school, they schedule them and then call the parent, and only if the parent says its a bad time, do they ask for your guidance in scheduling it. Sometimes, though, it cannot be rescheduled if a district-wide person is there (like the one psychologist our district has). Generally that is the limiting factor. Teachers can get subs for a couple hours, and even the SW or therapists (slp, pt, ot) can reschedule student sessions, but the people that have to serve the entire district often have little time.

I think a lot more notice ahead of time is in order for these things. I usually get about 3 weeks.

If it is an IEP meeting, check what your legal rights are. They have always been able to reschedule so I can attend and the one time I and a couple of my kids got sick 2 hours before the meeting, I gave them verbal consent over the phone to do part of the meeting (b/c they had someone there who could not reschedule for many weeks) and then scheduled a time for me to come in and meet with part of the team to go over things and sign the papers.

Its really not the best thing for them to leave you out b/c if you disapprove and refuse to sign w/o changes, they are going to have to schedule a whole new meeting.
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Old 10-06-2009, 10:29 AM
 
2,855 posts, read 10,406,271 times
Reputation: 1690
I see the inconvenience aspect of it. But to me it sounds like an urgent meeting about your child's education.
My children and their education are top priority for me. I would cancel whatever I had to, to be there to be the voice for my child and to hear what they had to say.
But that's just me.
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Old 10-06-2009, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Bend, OR
3,296 posts, read 9,667,362 times
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It does sound like an IEP meeting to me. Frankly, I'm very surprised that your first notice was the day before the scheduled meeting, and that it was via email. I would call and talk with the principal. It doesn't seem right (and I'm pretty sure it is YOUR right) that you are not given a chance to be there since the day won't work for you. If if cannot be rescheduled, which is sounds like it can't, I would tell the principal that they may discuss your child's needs, but that nothing can be changed until you have a chance to review the changes and meet with the teachers involved. While I would try to be there if at all possible, I also don't think it's okay for them to schedule a meeting and only give you a days notice. It sounds to me like they don't want you to be there!
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Old 10-06-2009, 10:40 AM
 
88 posts, read 272,475 times
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If this is a formal meeting, I think you are at a slight disadvantage by not having time to review the specific agenda and issues of concern, gather your thoughts, bring any relevant communications or documents with you, be prepared with questions, ideas, etc.

You may also want to know who (and title or position) is going to be at the meeting and be prepared take notes on what/who said what.

You may want to hold off on the meeting until all (including you!) are prepared to make this a truly productive meeting for all.
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Old 10-06-2009, 11:19 AM
 
2,195 posts, read 3,631,516 times
Reputation: 893
Quote:
Originally Posted by marylee54 View Post
I just got an email from my son's teacher telling me I'm scheduled for a meeting tomorrow at 10 am to discuss various "issues" They didn't ask if it would be convenient, just said I'm scheduled for a meeting. And no, this isn't a regular parten/teacher meeting.

You'd think they would at least afford you the courtesty to ask if a time would be convenient for you. It just so happens tomorrow is out of the question, due to prior committments that cannot be rearranged. I'm not too sure what this meeting is all about, expect that it will include about 8 staff and administrative personnel. Like they;'re ganging up on me!

I just wrote them back that I cannot attend the meeting, and gave them some alternative dates. They said tomorrow is the only day they can all get together. Well, then have the meeting without me, tomorrow is the only day I cannot meet with them. I asked what it was all about but didn't get a clear answer, just "to discuss some issues with your child to ensure a successful year" I don't know if this is a regular meeting or something special in our case, but regardless, I'm not jeopardizing my job to run over there when they demand it. Rghey don't jeopardize their jobs!

I told them this Friday, or if that won't work, please communicate their concerns by mail or email and I would be happy to see what input I could offer. What else could I do?
I've been in the schools and out of them.

This sounds like a power-play, more than anything else. It is not an IEP meeting, even if they want it to be. There are formulaic steps they must go through to make it an IEP meeting.

But, honestly, it sounds far more like a discipline-related meeting to me, given the veil of secrecy around it - I can't guess if it is about something your child was involved in or in which he was a victim, but that's the feel of it. Otherwise, the refusal to tell you what it is about makes zero sense.
*******

So, in your shoes, I would make an appointment with the principal or perhaps whomever is to coordinate the meeting. If at all possible, I would bring my husband, if he is available, or any other male you trust to this meeting. It is stupid, but behavior by authority figures is often different by having a male on the other side of the table. (*sigh* I hate that.)

Make this a pre-meeting meeting, because a) you can't go when all of them can; b) their notice is totally insufficient unless it is a dire emergency, and if it is a dire emergency, then they don't need all 8 OR they don't need to meet at only that exact instant; and c) the reason it sounds as if they are ganging up on you is that in many ways they are - even if it is not a conscious intention.

Good luck! I am sorry you have been put unnecessarily into that situation.
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Old 10-06-2009, 11:20 AM
 
3,422 posts, read 10,883,053 times
Reputation: 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by delta07 View Post
It does sound like an IEP meeting to me. Frankly, I'm very surprised that your first notice was the day before the scheduled meeting, and that it was via email.
I missed the email part. If its an IEP, don't you need a letter?

I am pretty sure the letter I get is titled "Prior Written Notice of Proposed Actions"

and it lists the participants and tells me I have the right to an interpreter and representation from anyone I wish to bring who can contribute to the meeting.

I looked through the OPs posting history and it sounds like she pulled the IEP on her child earlier this year. Perhaps they are trying to reinstate it?
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Old 10-06-2009, 07:51 PM
 
6,578 posts, read 25,413,071 times
Reputation: 3249
They probably want to put him back in special ed and they are going to state their case as to why.
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Old 10-06-2009, 08:01 PM
 
1,049 posts, read 3,002,784 times
Reputation: 1383
I would by no means ever go to ANY meeting of ANY sort where they refuse to disclose who exactly will be there, what the meeting is to discuss, and give enough notice for me to schedule for it.
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Old 10-06-2009, 08:08 PM
 
3,644 posts, read 10,920,091 times
Reputation: 5514
Lots of speculation (and then argument) about what this meeting is for. It's pretty ridiculous.

Here's mine: I guess that her child has been behaving inappropriately and they suspect neglect and possibly sexual abuse. She told them she's too busy to attend their meeting.

So they will contact CPS when she doesn't show up and she will be on the news complaining that "no one ever told her" that they suspected these things and that her civil rights have been violated (it will probably turn out that she's a minority - her great, great grandmother was an illegal albino Cuban with AIDS that swam here and scrubbed toilets for rich white people in LA). She'll cry about single motherhood and the ACLU will sue the school district.

Then it will turn out that her 11 year old daughter is pregnant by her mom's boyfriend and that grandma knew and was covering up for him. That will begin a new thread in which the mom will be tried and found to be an unfit mother by other posters.

When do we find out who is right?

It's so hard to take trolling posts like this one seriously.
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