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Bullying is an issue in almost every elementary school. Do you think that the responsibility of addressing bullying should lie with the parents or with the schools?
Bullying is an issue in almost every elementary school. Do you think that the responsibility of addressing bullying should lie with the parents or with the schools?
I think the responsibility for addressing bullying should be joint between the parents and the schools. However, due to zero tolerance rules it has become difficult for schools to adequately address bullying.
My child's school has a no bullying rule. It is taken very seriously, HOWEVER...it appears to me the kids use it as black mail. From my understanding when a child is being bullied they fill out a bullying report. That report gets turned in and the child that was reported on gets called down to the office. After a certain amount of reports, the child faces more discipline. But my child said that a lot of kids actually use the bullying reports as a form of bullying. If they do not like a kid, they will fill out a bullying report for no reason.
With the growing number of students in our public education system it is only going to get more difficult for teachers to monitor bullying between students. Shouldn't lessons about bullying begin at home in order to curb the problem from the beginning? I'm not letting the schools off the hook. They need to be aware and have a procedure set for diciplinary action against bullying; however, it seems this day in age many parents rely to much on the school system to teach their kids things they should be teaching at home.
What are the actions taken when there is a zero tolerance policy for bullying? Also, what type of action is taken against children who receive to many reports?
I think it needs to be addressed both at home and at school. Some parents feel it is completely the school's responsiblity and it cannot possibly rest just upon the shoulders of the school staff. We have had parents complain because their child is bullied walking to school (for example, a middle schooler might be bullying an elementary student) or in their apartment complex. How can anyone at the school possibly rectify that type of situation? Students (on both sides of the equation) also need to understand what constitutes bullying.
I think we all can agree that lessons about bullying should start at home. BUT, what does a school district do when this doesn't happen (or even worse but not totally uncommon, a parent actually raises the kid to "set the other kids straight" i.e. bully them)? That's the issue schools have no answer for. As the law states now, all kids HAVE to be in attendance at school no matter what. If a kid is not presently in a (almost always poorly run) juvenile hall, they HAVE to attend somewhere. So, even if a school district expels a kid for what is essentially criminal behavior, the next district over has to take them. The kid can resume his criminal behavior at the new school. It can't ever really be stopped if there is no support from the home because there's a limited and mostly non-existent way to get rid of the kids and keep them out of regular public campuses.
The public mostly lacks sufficient understanding of the challenges schools face when there is no support from a child's home when it comes to support on matters of behavior. In urban schools, a lack of parent involvment and support for schools is commonplace. And, in those cases, schools and districts really have their hands tied in how they can handle defiant behavior. Thus, urban schools are almost always poorly performing in most categories. The public just assumes the schools are "bad" without understanding the entire story.
I think we all can agree that lessons about bullying should start at home. BUT, what does a school district do when this doesn't happen (or even worse but not totally uncommon, a parent actually raises the kid to "set the other kids straight" i.e. bully them)? That's the issue schools have no answer for. As the law states now, all kids HAVE to be in attendance at school no matter what. If a kid is not presently in a (almost always poorly run) juvenile hall, they HAVE to attend somewhere. So, even if a school district expels a kid for what is essentially criminal behavior, the next district over has to take them. The kid can resume his criminal behavior at the new school. It can't ever really be stopped if there is no support from the home because there's a limited and mostly non-existent way to get rid of the kids and keep them out of regular public campuses.
The public mostly lacks sufficient understanding of the challenges schools face when there is no support from a child's home when it comes to support on matters of behavior. In urban schools, a lack of parent involvment and support for schools is commonplace. And, in those cases, schools and districts really have their hands tied in how they can handle defiant behavior. Thus, urban schools are almost always poorly performing in most categories. The public just assumes the schools are "bad" without understanding the entire story.
As a former educator, my experience has been that the child that bullies is usually lacking something at home, and that becomes visible when you meet the parent. All schools should have zero tolerance for bullying.
In reading everyone's post it is clear that everyone feels that bullying should be addressed by both the parents and the school. But what happens in a situation where the bully has been reprimanded and the bullied child is then outcast and ostracized because of telling on the bully. That child is now faced with ridicule and bullying on various levels. This is often the case when the bully is a popular kid and the bullied child is labeled a "nerd" or "weirdo" for lack of better words. What type of systems or strategies can parents and schools put in place to limit the consequences of a bully's retaliation?
As a former educator, my experience has been that the child that bullies is usually lacking something at home, and that becomes visible when you meet the parent. All schools should have zero tolerance for bullying.
I agree! When my son was in elementary his face was clawed by a girl in his class. It was pretty brutal. So a meeting was held with the teacher, myself and the mother of the girl. I was early and was sitting outside in the hallway when I looked up to see this mountain of a woman walking in. I thought to myself oh please god, don't let that be the girl's mother. Of course it was. She had on a t-shirt that said something about farting. I mean, first off who wears a shirt like that and why in the world would you wear to meet school officials? She seemed more bothered that she had to come in verses that her daughter hurt someone. Although this woman didn't say it, I could totally tell she thought it was pretty cool her daughter hurt a boy. ugh.
Bullying is an issue in almost every elementary school. Do you think that the responsibility of addressing bullying should lie with the parents or with the schools?
The issue of bullying is one with cultural roots that are much, much deeper and much larger than this question. As long as societal conditions will continue to encourage excessive competitiveness, self-centered-ness and the business model adopted even in the most sacred and delicate aspects of our private lives - bullying taking a variety of forms will continue to flourish.
Children's world is a mirror of the adult world - only at a much less sophisticated (and hypocritical) level. The ruthlessness in kids' world is a mirror of the ruthlessness in our adult world. Many of us will not want to hear that and will feel ready to do some bullying of their own when confronted with this extremely unpleasent truth.
I feel safe in arguing that buylling is a much bigger and more rampant problem than it has ever been before, even though kids have always had their conflicts and frictions. But what we witness today is entirely different and quite vicious. And yes, it has primarily to do with the family - the parents and the way they relate to "others".
As for who should address it? Everybody! Parents, schools, the media - whoever can get this issue right and address it for what it trully is: a grave, grave problem.
I am not going to launch into a cultural diatribe or any sort of debate here (I have attempted such things before and have managed to make cyber enemies) - but I will reserve the right to "proselytize" with some strong book recommendations, including:
Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety, Judith Warner.
Nurture Shock, Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman
The first doesn't directly address bullying, but whoever gets the message will see the perfect link. If even one parent or teacher (but especially parent) gets to read these books because I mentioned them here, I will feel like I have accomplished something worthwhile.
Last edited by syracusa; 03-17-2010 at 10:30 PM..
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