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I haven't read all the responses but by the time a kid is in high school it should be THEIR responsibility to make sure all of their work is done and turned in. I think the issue should have been addressed with the student. The parents got an appropriate notice with whatever it was that the teacher sent out. Also, if the parents have concerns about the kid's homework, they can contact the teacher or even check the kid's backpack once in a while. What happens when this kid goes off to college? Is Mommy going to ask his professors to keep them updated on missing assignments?
I have 3 (well 2 now that our oldest just graduated) high school kids. We have a policy that THEY must take care of these things first, if they can't resolve them, we will assist. We have never had to step in to assist. Our kids are active in sports and whatnot. Our DD has missed several days of school in the past month for golf tournaments. She has managed to make up all of her work all on her own.
From the mom's message they are placing more importance on the kid's extra activities and not on school. Our kids would not be allowed to participate in sports if they were neglecting their school work AND our school has policies on this as well.
chauvinism; an attitude of superiority toward members of the opposite sex.
At the risk of misquoting the esteemed if fictional Mr. Montoya, I do not think that word means what you think it means.
For your definition, you require the modifier "male". Chauvinism alone simply means smug over-enthusiasm for one's own group (the definition of that group being optional). It's not confined to the testosterone-laden.
Excuse me? I'll thank you not to insult my intelligence. I did read the letter, word for word, and what I read was a parent making excuses for the kid and not clarifying what he/she is going to do. The weasel word "hope" is what set me off.
If the parents have no intention of stepping in, it's much better to say clearly, "We have ensured that our child understands his responsibility to complete his schoolwork on time, and we are now stepping back to allow him to make his own choices. We understand that if he does not meet the requirements of the course, he will receive a failing grade. We will continue to monitor his progress via Powerschool (or whatever reporting mechanism is available). Thank you for your concern."
THAT is a clear statement, and while the teacher may have wanted a different reaction, it spells out the parents' role and allows the teacher to move on.
The parents' response letter is poorly written. Specifically, these are the phrases that I find bothersome...
In other words, either I don't think my son's issues at school are important enough to speak with you promptly, OR I'm just as disorganized as he is.
I'll allow this to stand as an explanation rather than an excuse.
We're allowing the cart to drive the horse. Also, to quote Rick Page, "Hope is not a strategy."
I'm attempting to garner support from other parents to defend my son's inability to get his work done. It's all your fault. This is the phrase I personally find most infuriating and the one that most clearly indicates the parent's attitude. It's excuse-making at its finest!
Glad you're making an effort, because we've given up.
I'm too lazy to log in and check Powerschool.
You may now commence with the eye-rolling.
Wow. If you regularly read such negative 'vibes' in general communication with others then that might well explain why you get so many eye-rolls, especially from your daughter.
I tend to take people at their given word, not try to make it out to be something else based on my impression, interpretation or mysterious 'vibes' emanating from their written or verbal responses. I have learned that 'vibes' are not usually accurate and most everyone appreciates being taken at their word. I know I do.
LOL. I post his grades every single day but I am the one taking zero responsibility? Nice.
I admit this statement is a bit of a stretch. I'll give you that. The more detailed version of what I meant by this statement is that you would have been aware that this was a student who for THREE semesters turned in HW assignments on time and was doing well on his tests.
Within the first couple of weeks of this child missing EVERY HW assignment AND giving you the unacceptable excuse that he "did not have time", a concerned and caring teacher would have taken the 3 to 4 minutes to shoot off a quick email to the parent apprising her of the situation.
This was not a student who had been slacking off all year. Apparently, this behavior was atypical of this student, and I do feel it was your responsibility to at least make some effort to investigate further.
Yes, the parent should have been checking the online grades, and in all likelihood she probably was checking them for a good portion of the school year, but eventually slacked off herself because her child had shown he was responsible for the 1st 3 semesters.
And as another poster mentioned, in the time it took you to make all these posts on this forum you could have e-mailed the parent a dozen times over.
Wow. If you regularly read such negative 'vibes' in general communication with others then that might well explain why you get so many eye-rolls, especially from your daughter.
I tend to take people at their given word, not try to make it out to be something else based on my impression, interpretation or mysterious 'vibes' emanating from their written or verbal responses. I have learned that 'vibes' are not usually accurate and most everyone appreciates being taken at their word. I know I do.
The OP asked for opinions about the letter, and I gave them. You did the same. Obviously, we see things very differently. Enough said, but please refrain from attacking my character. You are welcome to argue with my ideas, but you are not welcome to insult me. Granted, I brought up my daughter, who is not unlike most other adolescent girls who roll their eyes at their mothers, but your insinuation that I deserve to be treated with disdain is offensive and has absolutely nothing to do with our conflicting perceptions of the letter. Kindly knock it off.
Last edited by formercalifornian; 06-10-2010 at 09:06 AM..
Reason: typo
Seriously, all these parents are telling me is that education has not been a priority with this child. If that is going to change, don't tell me about it, DO IT. I don't consider them to be relaying something positive here. This is akin to my calling a parent earlier in this year to tell her about behavior issues I was having with her son in class. Her reply was "He gets like that when he's tired". While that sheds light on his behavior, it does nothing to fix the problem.
Telling me "We've been too busy for school", just doesn't accomplish anything. Now, telling me the student has been put on notice that either his grades go up or those extracurriculars go, might, but these parents aren't saying that. They're just offering an excuse for why the work hasn't been done up until now. I'm not excusing the work.
As I said, my experience with situations like this is what the parents are looking for is a start over. They want me to downplay the previous mistake. All I'm doing here is acknowledging the email and moving on. They aren't giving me something that I can use in class with this student.
As to wanting to know more about my students, that's why I have them fill out an information sheet the first day of class. I ask things like which extracurricular activities they participate in. Why email me to remind me of those activities if you aren't asking me to do something about the situation? It's not like I have the power to say "You're missing 3 assignments this week so no soccer practice on Saturday." The parents have that power.
Well, now I'm confused. I thought this was a student of lbk0714 that we are talking about? Or do you have the same student Ivorytickler? Or are you talking about another student entirely? Or are you lumping a general population of kids under the same category of lbk0714's student?
The OP asked for opinions about the letter, and I gave them. You did the same. Obviously, we see things very differently. Enough said, but please refrain from attacking my character. You are welcome to argue with my ideas, but you are not welcome to insult me. Granted, I brought up my daughter who is not unlike most other adolescent girls who roll their eyes at their mothers, but your insinuation that I deserve to be treated with disdain is offensive and has absolutely nothing to do with our conflicting perceptions of the letter. Kindly knock it off.
You just did it again.
I didn't attack your character. I made an observation about what seems to be a negative outlook in your interpretation of the letter. I didn't say that you deserve disrespectful eye rolls from your daughter....I said negatively reading into what people say can cause that reaction (not only in teenagers). Often times when people become offended it is not because of what was actually stated but by their incorrect and emotion based perception or 'vibe'. I can't do anything about that so I will leave you alone and wish you to have a good day.
....I hope you can at least take that as I intended and not read anything else negative and insulting into it.
You just did it again.
I didn't attack your character. I made an observation about what seems to be a negative outlook in your interpretation of the letter. I didn't say that you deserve disrespectful eye rolls from your daughter....I said negatively reading into what people say can cause that reaction (not only in teenagers). Often times when people become offended it is not because of what was actually stated but by their incorrect and emotion based perception or 'vibe'. I can't do anything about that so I will leave you alone and wish you to have a good day.
....I hope you can at least take that as I intended and not read anything else negative and insulting into it.
Enough said about that, but I have a question for you....
How should a teacher interpret the comment that this parent has talked to other parents and determined that all the other kids are staying up late to complete their homework? You really don't see that as a blatant attempt to shift blame to the teacher? Seriously?
Background information in this case is useful because it alerts the teacher that there isn't a problem, or at least not a problem that the teacher needs to worry about.
I just hate to see parents who appear to be doing their best to work WITH the teacher, not point fingers or ask for special favors or whine about fairness, get slammed for what, in my opinion, seems to be a good-faith effort on their part.
Two points:
In an era of high-stakes testing and NCLB, it isn't just the kids' problem. Schools are held accountable for a student's failure, so the teacher has good reason to worry no matter what the reason for the kid's poor performance.
Additionally, when the letter writer stated that her husband had spoken to other parents about excessive homework (I am drawing the conclusion that the parent considers it excessive because she states that other children are staying up late to complete their assignments.), she is implying that it's the teacher's fault the kid can't keep up. I consider that blame-shifting. It's subtle, but in my opinion, it is absolutely an attempt to point a finger back at the teacher.
Whether it's the parent or the student, neither should be telling a teacher they didn't complete assignments because of scouts or track. Would you tell your boss that the report they requsted be on their desk at 9:00 am wasn't, because your garden needed weeding or your kid had a soccer game. Come on.
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