Why so many El Paso singles already divorced or with kids? (West: daycare, high school)

[zix]

In El Paso TX, it seems like most of the singles are divorced or have kids already. Why?

[TexanWest]

Probably in El Paso, like most low-wage areas with large pockets of poverty, many people get married or get pregnant at too young an age, often in or just out of high school. Divorce rates with such couples tend to be pretty high, resulting in single parents. And, of course, many pregnant teens give birth with being married at all.

The culture in El Paso favors having babies over having an education or having professional, high-paying careers, as well. I assume this is also typical in other areas with a traditional latino/a culture.

I've given up on dating in this city. Almost every single woman I meet here is looking for a new daddy for her kids. No thanks. I have enough to worry about.

[zix]

I share you concerns. I have found the same problem in that it seems almost all of them already have 1 or more kids. I am always shocked when I find one that DOESN'T have kids or ex-husbands, because it seems so rare. It's sad, and makes me consider moving elsewhere to find someone without that baggage. I'm not saying they are bad people, but as I have never been married and have no kids, I want someone that shares that in common with me - no baggage.

Is it like this in Mexico too, where naturally the Hispanic culture would be stronger than in El Paso?

Originally Posted by TexanWest

Probably in El Paso, like most low-wage areas with large pockets of poverty, many people get married or get pregnant at too young an age, often in or just out of high school. Divorce rates with such couples tend to be pretty high, resulting in single parents. And, of course, many pregnant teens give birth with being married at all.

The culture in El Paso favors having babies over having an education or having professional, high-paying careers, as well. I assume this is also typical in other areas with a traditional latino/a culture.

I've given up on dating in this city. Almost every single woman I meet here is looking for a new daddy for her kids. No thanks. I have enough to worry about.

[LEVOW]

I AGREE, in El Paso alot of people marry young, or have kids at a young age, i have a 14 yr old daughter, and im bearly 31, i was dating my ex for 2 months, when she got pregnant [ ok ok i know it takes 2 to tangle] anyway, we had already broken up, when she called me and told me she was pregnant. Naturally, i handled my responsibility, We agreed to get married, personally,i did it because i thought it was my "priority" to marry her, because she had had my child. Anyway...to make along story short, we were complete opposites, our priorities, as we grew up, went in totally different directions, we didnt even know each other to make a lifelong commitment like that. Ultimately, our marriage ended up in divorce alot of wasted time, when both of us were unhappy. I think alot of the reason, you have alot of divorces also, is the mexican american idealogy [from a young "chicanos" perspective"] that if you get a girl pregnant,you have to marry her and vise versa wit the girls. [wow, i cant believe i told you guys all that, but this topic kinda hit home]

[billybones]

Originally Posted by zix

In El Paso TX, it seems like most of the singles are divorced or have kids already. Why?

This isn't unique to El Paso. I live in NW Illinois and have an 18 yo son. His high school has a daycare center in it and it's a middle class town. My wife and I have commented many times about how hard it must be for young ppl looking for relationships when there are so many children involved.

Back in my day (lol) in the late 70's when I was in highschool, there was never a pregnant student, or should I say none that we ever heard about. That was a time if it did happen, it was covered up at any expense.

I'm glad I lived my young years free of being a parent. I had a hard enough time taking care of myself back then let alone a child.

[LEVOW]

This isn't unique to El Paso. I live in NW Illinois and have an 18 yo son. His high school has a daycare center in it and it's a middle class town. [quote]

wow i guess its not just an el paso thing, when i was in school, maybe 2 or 3 would get pregnant during the year, but they would take them away from general population, they would send them to [tech], which is now [steve crosno jr high now lol]Sadly alot of the girls would just end up dropping out, alot of them would go back and graduate, but most of them didnt.

[lipbalm]

The low education levels is to blame. In other parts of the country teens/young people have sex, but they are responsible about it and take the proper precautions so as to avoid getting pregnant.

[malamute]

Originally Posted by lipbalm

The low education levels is to blame. In other parts of the country teens/young people have sex, but they are responsible about it and take the proper precautions so as to avoid getting pregnant.

I think it's also lack of goals. It seems many of the girls here have babies intentionally in an attempt to hold onto a boyfriend. You will hear them express that kind of thinking, they think having a child with a boy they believe they love will keep him coming around. Girls here that do have long-term goals like plans to go away to college don't burden themselves down this way -- but then those are the ones leaving town.

I think also many see their friends with babies and still with plenty of freedom because of babysitting grandmothers who often just end up raising the baby so it doesn't seem like much of a burden. They can still out out clubbing and dancing until the wee hours.

[LEVOW]

think also many see their friends with babies and still with plenty of freedom because of babysitting grandmothers who often just end up raising the baby so it doesn't seem like much of a burden. They can still out out clubbing and dancing until the wee hours.

u hit the nail right in the head, then they go clubbin, meet another guy, and bam 1 yr later another baby without a dad, and the cycle continues on and on. [on a side note, i always thought, el paso nightclubs are worst place possoble to meet somebody]

[zix]

What/where are the BEST places to meet someone in El Paso?

Originally Posted by LEVOW

think also many see their friends with babies and still with plenty of freedom because of babysitting grandmothers who often just end up raising the baby so it doesn't seem like much of a burden. They can still out out clubbing and dancing until the wee hours.

u hit the nail right in the head, then they go clubbin, meet another guy, and bam 1 yr later another baby without a dad, and the cycle continues on and on. [on a side note, i always thought, el paso nightclubs are worst place possoble to meet somebody]