News: Wall Street to suspend trading (president, McCain, million, state)

[magellan]

New York City--The NYSE and Nasdaq will suspend trading beginning tomorrow morning, Thursday, September 25th until John McCain appears on the Senate Floor. Gerald Putnam, President of the NYSE, stated on Wednesday afternoon "We don't even know what to do anymore! Buy? Sell? We have $500 Million in sell orders waiting for processing and we need action today!"

"The first one of the Presidential contenders who shows up gets to ring the bell!" exclaimed Robert Griefield, President of NASDAQ.

[j33]

you should write for The Onion.

[magellan]

Originally Posted by j33

you should write for The Onion.

Haha, I love The Onion.