Movie Cliches! (1970, television, film, 20th century)

[Suburban_Guy]

Couple of cliches mentioned above by Sand&Salt and bus man have other variations:

- In all genres of movies, any character that undergoes tremendous mental stress will eventually vomit. This ALWAYS happens when a movie character kills another for the first time in their lives. After the gravity of what they did hits them, there will come a scene where they stagger away (sometimes yelling "stop the car"), bend over, and vomit.
- Latinos, particularly those of Mexican heritage, ALWAYS pepper their conversation with Spanglish ("ok amigo, whatever you say," "pinche madre, I told you so," and so on). And they are always making the sign of the cross when under duress ("oh mi dios").

And still others:

* In any thriller/action movie, when the protagonist finally meets the main bad guy, the bad guy will ALWAYS grab the protagonist's loved one as a human shield hostage. He will then yell, "drop it or I shoot her." The protagonist then drops weapon, OR he shoots loved one in shoulder or leg causing that person to collapse, opening up a shot to the bad guy.
* Computer hacking experts are always very nerdy and gross looking with thick glasses and zero social skills, and act like fools in the presence of a beautiful woman.
* There is no such thing as a physically ugly woman when it comes to main characters in a movie. Whether a doctor or an auto mechanic, she MUST be a hot babe (unless it's about some serial killer or something).
* A physically beautiful actress can always be uglied to play the role of someone that was ugly and ghastly looking in real life (Charlize Theron, cough cough).
* An actor straight in real life can play the role of a gay or trans person, but a real life gay or trans actor can never play a straight character (unless that person has hidden his private life well).
* Every single family in motion pictures lives in an incredibly modern and fancy condo/apartment/house where father and mum both work high profile, 7 figure jobs. Their kids eagerly await in the mail to see if they got accepted into an Ivy League school, typically a scene where the kid opens up an acceptance letter and joyfully exults, "I got into Harvard."

[K12144]

Originally Posted by Sand&Salt

Every pregnant female finds out by suddenly vomiting. No clue before the hurl.

That's not true! Sometimes they find out when they pass out! They're taken to the hospital... and... pregnant.

(I don't know if I've ever known an actual pregnant woman who has passed out because of being pregnant, though. Especially in the very early stages.)

Originally Posted by Zymer

I used to see that years ago on the old show Adam-12, the young kid (Reed) would spend inordinate amounts of time looking at the older cop Malloy) while driving down the road, talking. Sheesh, look where you're going already.

WHAAAAAT! Pete never let him drive!

Originally Posted by Zymer

Or they are out/almost out of ammo, manage to disable the 'bad guy' and they don't bother to pick up the bad guy's weapons so that they will have something to use against the *rest* of the bad guys.


If the bad guy is better armed than I am, I'm taking his stuff.

Forget that! If the bad guy is armed at all, I'm taking his stuff so he can't use it on me when he resurrects!

[nandorrei]

Parent/Parents don't like/trust Adult Child's new love interest:

1- Parents are right - he or she is a psychopath.
2- Parents are wrong - he or she saves the day.

[Ohiogirl81]

Horror Movie 101

1) Those most likely to die are:
The person with his/her back to the door
The person who pooh-poohs the supernatural
The persons who split up to investigate
Teenagers having sex when and/or where they shouldn't be

2) The last person alive will find all the bodies

3) The car never starts, the gun always jams, and the phone never works

[nandorrei]

Lunatic escapes from mental institution to big city/small town and starts murdering people. Finally caught by cop who keeps saying "I'm too old for this".

[adjusterjack]

The Medical Examiner at the crime scene puts time of death in a wide range of hours and says something like "I'll pin it down when I get him back to the morgue."


When the expert or scientist provides a technical explanation someone will say "in English please."


When it's a state crime and a federal crime there will always be an argument as to who has jurisdiction.


Point a revolver at someone to coerce them. If that doesn't work, pull back the hammer for emphasis. Modern revolvers don't require cocking the hammer. Similarly, point a semi-automatic pistol at somebody, then rack the slide for emphasis. When you rack the slide you're either ejecting a round (wasting a bullet) or chambering a round. If you're chambering a round you've been pointing an unloaded gun before that.


The cop who is retiring in a few days or a week or two is going to die. Or, be revealed as a dirty cop.


Someone trash talking a colleague or superior ends up saying "He's right behind me, isn't he?"

[2 Scoops]

The bad guy tells his cohorts holding the protagonist, "That one is mine."

Everyone has a black outfit for a funeral. And plenty of hankies. Or when someone offers someone
a hanky, they always say, "It's clean." I certainly hope so.

[Suburban_Guy]

* Some more classic gun related scenes:

- Whenever the protagonist has the unarmed bad guy cornered with gun pointed, the bad guy will always taunt the good guy to shoot ("come on, shoot me, bet you can't, DO IT").
- A person that's never handled a gun before will point a weapon at a bad guy, then the bad guy will point out that the safety is on, or something to that effect.
- Whenever bad guy is on floor and gun is just slightly out of reach, he'll stretch out his hand to try and get the gun. Good guy will point his weapon and then be like, "ahhhh, stop right there, don't even think about it." Then comes about a minute of suspense as bad guy debates whether to reach for the weapon or not.
- Guns must always be reloaded in the most showy, bad arse ways, this is especially true for revolvers where they must be reloaded via "cowboying" or "bogarting"


Others:

* Every form of law enforcement is corrupt and involved in nefarious conspiracies. Whether it be city police or FBI, there's always rogue elements interested in stealing goods and covering them up.
* Any movie with the main characters as police officers involved in day to day lives in their departments, must feature the elaborate funeral procession scene upon the death of a fellow officer. This will involve a long line of cars and horses as the procession goes to the cemetery. Then closeup scenes of a priest offering words of prayer and crying widow in front of the flag draped coffin. Then the sound of bagpipes and gun salute.
* The good cop in a movie will always be in a battle of wills with his superior, especially if the case drags on, causes tremendous collateral damage, or starts to uncover a conspiracy that's too close for comfort. Then the superior will either tell the cop to take an extended vacation, demoted down to patrol duty, or is told to hand over his badge and gun.
* Every single crisis that affects the world and planet earth, will ALWAYS be resolved by good old Americans, with a few other token nationalities thrown in for good measure.
* In every movie that involves a world crisis whether it be natural phenomenon like an asteroid hitting earth, or aliens come to destroy us, there will be an elaborate set up sequence where the same darned cities are shown getting destroyed. The usual cities of choice are Moscow, Tokyo, and San Francisco where the Golden Gate Bridge is always being damaged. And in the end, when the world is saved, they must show an African country where tribes are shown jumping up and down with their spears full of joy.
* In any military movie, the soldier that proudly shows off a picture of his wife and infant to others, will be soon die in battle. And, of course, during that battle there must be a scene where that same picture falls from the dead soldier's coat onto the bloodied ground complete with sad music.

[adjusterjack]

Many years age the Sci Fi Channel had weekly tips on how to survive horror and sci fi movies. I wrote them down.



How to Survive Horror and Sci Fi Movies

1 If the Earth looses it’s atmosphere, don’t waste your breath screaming.
2 If it can eat through walls, it can eat through you.
3 Never swim alone, at night, naked.
4 Wishes can be dangerous, if you catch a leprechaun, kill it.
5 If it has 20 legs, you can’t outrun it.
6 In the woods, everything can hear you scream.
7 If a giant spider catches you don’t panic, it won’t eat you for days.
8 Never go on an epic quest without having an exit strategy.
9 Even if you are sure that it's dead...Never turn your back on it while insulting it.
10 Not all aliens want to kill you...Some need an incubator.
11 When building an army of mutant supersoldiers, don’t use the criminally insane.
12 Not all monsters want to eat you, some just want your skin.
13 Never play God, even if you are one.
14 Just because you’re immortal, doesn’t mean you can’t get your ass kicked.
15 If the egg weighs more than you, don’t wait around for it to hatch.
16 If it’s foot is bigger than your house, don’t hide in your house.
17 Never brew love potions, around family members.
18 If it has two heads, it can eat you in half the time.
19 If it’s footprint is bigger than your Hummer, leave.
20 Never make fun of fairies, they aren’t as cute when they swarm.
21 Never mate with an alien, no matter how hot it is.
22 If you discover that you can fly, don’t do it in commercial airspace.
23 If you can see bits of flesh caught in it’s teeth, you’re standing too close.
24 If a giant asteroid is heading for Earth, duck and cover won’t help.
25 When building a robot don’t give it a brain, and if you do don’t give it a weapon.
26 When running from a monster, never wear high heels.
27 If a giant snake is trying to kill you, don’t send a larger one to defeat it.
28 If a fraternity requires a blood sacrifice, don’t pledge.
29 Kids love dinosaurs, unfortunately dinosaurs love kids too.
30 If it comes from outer space, don’t eat it.
31 If you find human remains, don’t wait around to find out what was eating them.
32 If you engineer a super-virus, also engineer an unbreakable test tube.
33 If you think your town has a werewolf problem, move.
34 If the mutant is infectious...Don't open your mouth when you slash it.
35 “No trespassing” signs, only work for things that can read.
36 If the static in the TV is talking to you, don’t talk back.
37 If it’s teeth are bigger than it’s body, don’t try to pet it.
38 Massive doses of radiation, won’t give you superpowers.
39 If you successfully clone yourself, it will probably try to kill you.
40 When using a Ouija board, only summon people who like you.
41. All monsters CAN be killed...Just don't forget that some were dead to begin with.
42. If your buddy has an uncle with a cabin in the woods...Stay at a hotel.
43. If a club requires a blood sacrifice... don’t join.
44. Never sign a contract in blood -- no matter how badass it feels.
46. Not all parasites need you for food. some just need you for shelter.
47. If you see a dark puddle...Don't stick your fingers in it.
48. If you see a girl in a miniskirt hitchhiking...That's never actually a good thing.
49. Just because it’s not safe outside... doesn’t mean its safe inside.
50. If the thing under your porch ate your dog, it's probably not a cat.
51. Pray the monster is a vampire...There are 50 ways to kill one.
52. Not all boys like stuck-up, prissy girls...However, all monsters do.
53. If it has eyes in the back of its head... don’t stand behind it.
54. If you're whimpering and scared in a dark room...Don't walk through it backwards.
55. Not everything in the dark will hurt you. Some wait 'til you turn on the lights.
56. If your closet starts glowing... don’t open the door.
57. If you think jumping out and scaring your friends is funny...The monster will find you first.
58. If something crawls down your chimney... it’s not bringing you toys.
59. If it feeds every 23 years, don't be around when it wakes up.
60. If you're mentioned in a prophecy, remember to write down the details.
61. If every animal runs in the same direction, follow them.
62. If you hear it growling a mile away, don't wait around to see what it is.
63. If you open a door to another dimension, make sure you know how to close it.
64. If she starts growing fur, she's no longer your sister.
65. If the friend you are walking with suddenly vanishes, calling his name loudly will only attract trouble.
66. If you build a Doomsday device... don’t leave it on standby
67. In the event of a nuclear winter, don't eat the snow.
68. If a book can summon the dead, don't read it out loud.
69. If it creeps up quietly, it probably eats loudly.
70. If it breathes fire..It won't make a good pet
71. If the first two clips didn't kill it...what makes you think the third one will?
72. If a loved one dies and comes back as a zombie...you're not going to be able to talk them out of it.

[nandorrei]

Family moves into new home - one of the children sense evil presence - others don't believe.
1- Believer child becomes possessed by evil spirit - kills whole family - lies in wait for new family.
2- Other family members finally believe - they band together to destroy evil spirit - maybe not!