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Old 06-10-2009, 10:27 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington
2,317 posts, read 7,219,751 times
Reputation: 1727

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^^^ Like I said, you will be seen as a right winger, haha. Eugene is a very liberal city (especially South Eugene--around the university and such) but the areas outside of it are more moderate and have more of the "balance" you are seeking.
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Old 06-10-2009, 10:36 PM
 
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I did come across quite extremist and I do not think my daughter is going to be "infected". I just want a non pushy life for her...on most issues. I really do not care whether people are born gay or they choose it because I am not gay and it is not a debate for me. I don't know what it feels like and so I have no opinion on the matter. I suppose if a person is gay they would know whether they felt that way from birth on or by experience. I did word that poorly. But actually it is a good example. Can I prefer a son -in law someday and still be perhaps be cool for having a preference for my family? If my best friend said she prefered a lesbian inlaw - I would be fine with her...truly. Her choice is not mine and I respect that. Do people respect both sides of issues in Eugene or is it a situation where like in Utah ..you are either Mormon or percieved Non Mormon like there are no other religions..they are all lumped into the giant NON category. I was wondering if you see people making choices or birth passages (ha ha) about sexuality revealed at a young age in the school hallways or is mostly something you see as adults. Utah has a very active gay population I believe but most kids did not come out of the closet so to speak until they were out of High School...so it wasn't much of an issue there at a young age from a school standpoint. How much sexuality of either preference is in the schools?
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Old 06-10-2009, 10:39 PM
 
16 posts, read 43,011 times
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I see..So that is and was your answer! LOL I think maybe I AM in trouble then!
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Old 06-10-2009, 10:41 PM
 
16 posts, read 43,011 times
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I didn't realize that I was so conservative! LOL What a revelation.
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Old 06-10-2009, 11:15 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington
2,317 posts, read 7,219,751 times
Reputation: 1727
Quote:
Originally Posted by minaflewis View Post
I didn't realize that I was so conservative! LOL What a revelation.
Now you know... Well, living in Eugene you will know. I have seen some statistics that show that Oregon liberals are the most liberal of any state and its conservatives are more conservative than any other state. So that kind of makes things interesting, but I think it balances out in the end. Many people are pretty tolerant. Also I think it's easy to say things that are unclear or to misinterpret things said on the internet, so I think Metlakatla and I may have done that too.

I'm not sure what it's like in Eugene schools, but as a rather recent Oregon high school graduate, I'd say in my experience there wasn't too much sexuality in the school itself. Of course, once you get into high school, teens will be teens and it's up to parents to enforce their rules and expectations and then for the teens to find ways to wiggle around them whether at school or not, hah. But really, everyone pretty much co-existed just fine and I am from a (comparatively) conservative town. Of course, you wouldn't see two guys walking around holding hands (perhaps two girls) or the occasional guy and girl making out between classes before a teacher walked by and told them the school policy against P.D.A.'s... And that's about it at school. I can't imagine the situation in Eugene would be too much worse for sexuality or drugs. If you do your darndest to keep your kid away from drugs and negative influences and educate them about those things, and stay involved with their friends and their life, they will probably stay away from those negative things.

I hope I don't come across as lecturing either. I don't mean to, just FYI. These are just my experiences and I hope they can help some!
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Old 06-11-2009, 09:57 AM
 
22,448 posts, read 29,943,304 times
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Why not just let your daughter be a kid before you start worrying about things like future son in laws?

Being raised in a community of tolerance isn't going to hurt your daughter--it won't turn her gay if she isn't predisposed to be so.

But if its going to make a nervous wreck out of her and of you she grows up and you're hyperfocusing on her for signs of gayness...you might be happier in what you feel is a more balanced environment.
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Old 06-11-2009, 10:07 AM
 
22,448 posts, read 29,943,304 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by minaflewis View Post
Metlakatla -

I did not mean to come across that way. It is a difficult question to ask about liberalness without sounding judgemental. I truly believe everyone should live as they please. Just wondering about what to expect is all. We came from Utah where being Non Mormon/ Not as Conservative was an issue and there is a happy medium on many things in my mind. I do not want to be in a town where people are ushering their children inside if we have a beer on our front porch but also are not blasting us for not participating in the gay pride parade either. "Your not coming? Your are not fighting for what I want? Well... if you are not with us - you must be against us attitudes." I want to live in a town where people are perhaps gay but do not move there because they are. I feel that way on many issues. We moved out of Utah for that reason...For example be Mormon but you do not have to all congregate together...and condemn people for not participating. I still like Mormons though...the ones that have balance. I feel the same way about gay lifestyles/ hippies/ drugs/ drinking etc.. I don't want to live in an area where much is pushed on anyone or that is known for a particular lifestyle. That is the root of my question. Is Eugene a place where people congregate and come together on certain issues in a major outstanding way that I need to be aware of? I have a gay friend that invited me to a rally for marriage equality for example and was all put out when I did not want to go. (just did not want to..no hidden drama..no political stand - I just didn't feel like fighting for his cause. As I said..If I had to choose - I would chose a "son In law" but it is not my choice. But...which is exactly my point - it does not mean that I am against gays. But in some places - you are going to be taken that way more often. I have my own causes, issues and rallys that are important to me to get out there and go the extra mile for. I give to the AlS foundation - but it does not mean that I am against the Heart Association if I turn them away at the door is the best way I can describe how I view a lot of it. I want a free to be me balance. (Even for my "little princess" who has her monster moments! LOL)
Well..I don't think you'll find an in your face type of attitude in Eugene outside of a few individuals, but you'll find that anywhere. People seem pretty "live and let live". You might also look at the Pleasant Hill area and perhaps look into Creswell.

Whether or not I would usher the Prince indoors at the sight of you drinking beer on your front porch were you my neighbor depends on the type of beer. If it were bud et al I am afraid I'd spare the tyke the sight. If it were lambic of any kind we would be trying to make friends with you.
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Old 06-11-2009, 05:32 PM
 
6,061 posts, read 13,863,056 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by minaflewis View Post
I didn't realize that I was so conservative! LOL What a revelation.
Hey there... I had that same exact revelation when we moved to Oregon. We thought we were liberal... until we settled in Eugene.

I feel like you would settle in well in what's called the "Ferry Street Bridge" area of Eugene. The schools are good, it's close enough to Gateway Mall, it's not as "crunchy" yet still laid-back, people tend to leave you alone but if you make an effort you can still form friendships with the neighbors that you want to know or with other parents in your neighborhood...

I know that Gilham has a lot of students who are developmentally challenged in some way. I know there are a lot of homes in the area here, too, that have been converted into homes for those who used to be in state mental hospitals. I haven't read up on all the details, but there is some kind of transition going on with the way Oregon deals with mental health issues and I think it has to do with trying to help them learn to live in the "real world" as opposed to living their lives in an instituion... but like I said, I haven't done too much reading on that issue. You do see a lot of people like that all around town, though. I hope I'm not sounding offensive because I don't mean to be... but I've lived a lot of different places and I've never seen as many disabled/mentally challenged/etc. people out and about as I have here.

Moon Mountain... it's kind of over in the far east area of Eugene by I-5 and Laurel Hll... there's a park there... maybe it's called Laurel HIll Park? You'd like that area - trees, hilly... I think the school there is the edison school? Hmmm... not 100% on that... Not sure what your price range is, though, I think those homes are kinda pricey...
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Old 06-13-2009, 11:37 AM
 
Location: Austin, Texas
2,098 posts, read 3,153,890 times
Reputation: 880
minaflewis-

I would urge you to look at another city. Your posts alone were quite niave, unresearched and frankly, a bit offensive. Now, you may have not intended to insult anyone by calling the kids urchins with unkept hair, but had you done that in front of some people in Eugene, I don't think too many people would keep their mouths closed. Now, I'm not going to get in a discussion about the content of your other posts, so let's look at reasons you may want to reconsider moving to Eugene.

Allergies- grass pollen is very bad.
Schools- some are older and they are crowded.
Liberalness- IMAO, from your posts alone, it will be too liberal for you unless you find a tiny group of citizens that think like you.
Openness- far too open for you. You claim you are openminded, but others who are conservative mentioned it is far more liberal than some think.
General Mindset- Most people will not see eye-to-eye with you on many issues.

Now, regarding that magical number that greatschools.net assigns for each school they review. Yes, it is based on test scores, but every state has different standards. As you know, Arizona is way down the list in terms of education. So, a 10 in Arizona may or may not translate to a 10 in Oregon.

Now, you may want to look elsewhere. If you end up moving there, good luck and look out Metlakatla.
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Old 06-13-2009, 12:27 PM
 
22,448 posts, read 29,943,304 times
Reputation: 18490
Well, I must admit I wondered about the street urchin comment as well but...and I suppose several years ago my own urchin might have been among the children she found lacking in kemptness. Never mind that he could have stepped out of GQ these days--when he was a kid he acted like a kid, playing outside with messy hair and all
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