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Oh let's just be honest. The average guy who goes to the gym is HOT. They take care of themselves and respect their bodies. I would estimate that a mere 1 out of 20 are vain and annoying. The vain label is something the fat, the flabby and the insecure stick on people who care about their bodies. Don't listen to the complainers, OP. You are doing the right thing. Confident women will find you more attractive as you become more fit.
I haven't read all the responses here but I just want to add my POV.... I am 5'6 weighing around 125 lbs....I work out regularly, spinning class 4 times a week plus yoga twice a week or more.....so I'm in good shape according to most people. That said, I prefer men who don't have rock hard bodies....my ideal guy is 'big & tall'...... 6'3 to 6'5 weighing around 250 lb more or less.....and I know I'm not alone.....most women I know like men who are active but not necessarily buffed......the key to attracting women is confidence, charisma, and a sense of humor.
the key to attracting women is confidence, charisma, and a sense of humor.
I've yet to meet anyone male or female who is fat and flabby and has confidence. In fact I can't think of anyone I know who doesn't exercise who has confidence, charisma and a sense of humor. People who sit at home and do nothing generally lack motivation, are depressed and usually pretty boring. Seriously all the really fantastic people I've ever known who are fun to be around just so happen to be physically active.
I dated a guy who would go to the gym for hours everyday. That was annoying. No time for anything else. Want to go to dinner? Can't, gotta hit the gym. Let's go away for the weekend? Can't, can't miss working out. It was to obsessional (is that a word, lol?)
But a guy who is lazy and never works out is just as unattractive.
For me, it's not just about looking hot. It's about being healthy and not lazy. There are guys that work out but aren't sculpted. That is better than a thin guy with visible muscle tone who is lazy and unhealthy. To me anyway. I am attracted to the work ethic, dedication, motivation... but within balance.
Not a woman but I would think that most women would have an inability to respond to your question without bringing up some past negative "issue" they have had with a guy who works out regularly, OR, they would feed into the negative and incorrect stereotype that guys who work out regularly are somehow vain, conceited, arrogant, care more for themselves, etc.
Nope. Not me. Never had such experiences with men that work out often. To the contrary, the ones that I have gotten to know, have all been really likable guys...very nice.
Well, personally, it's a huge turn off when I catch guys looking at themselves in the mirror all the time.
I once dated a personal trainer with an amazing body. He thought he was so hawt. He felt his body earned him the right to be disgusted by anyone that did not measure up to his standards. He expressed nothing but contempt for his overweight clients and said the most horrible things about them. He'd tell me how disgusting it was to see cellulite on the thighs of his female clients, stuff like that. What a jerk. This was his profession! It really turned me off.
He wasn't nearly as hot as he thought he was: beside being an a-hole, he was short, bald, had a small thingy (and worse, he didn't know how to use it), and was underemployed.
He tainted my view of gym rats in a negative way forever, I'm afraid. Now I see men with hard bodies from time spent in the gym as being vain and self-absorbed until they prove otherwise. And needless to say, I will NEVER, EVER hire a male personal trainer. I would always be wondering what awful things he was saying and thinking about my imperfect body.
Too bad, because I actually really like muscles, I like the way they look and the way they feel and all the wonderful things you can do with muscles. I appreciate how hard a person has to work to obtain them. But I don't like vain, critical, arrogant men. To summarize, it takes a lot more than muscles.
You dated this arrogant, vain, self-absorbed, critical jerk. What does that say about you?
Anyway, all this bitterness and anger indicate a relationship that ended badly for you. I hope you find peace soon.
Although I'm a "fit" chick, I'm not attracted to muscular men. I'd rather a guy be skinny or have some 'extra pounds' than be ripped. Why, I don't know. I'm just not.
So yeah...I would consider a guy that goes to the gym to "build muscle" to 99%-100% of the time not be my type. Now a runner/hiker/etc is a different story. I just hate the look of prominent muscles...bleh. IMHO, a little squishy feels nicer to cuddle up with anyhow, rather than hardness.
However, I'm a weirdo...so you might be better off not listening to me. Most girls feel differently than I do.
People who are fit generally prefer someone else who is fit. People who are fat generally prefer someone else who is fat. Its called your comfort zone. Nothing Earth shattering about it.
Those who don't exercise usually have problems with lack of motivation in other areas of their life besides regular exercise too.
I don't know if I'd go that far. People who don't exercise usually don't consider it a high enough priority to find the time and effort to do it. But there may be other things in their life that they have plenty of motivation to do. I've met people who are very driven in their jobs or school, but don't exercise simply because it's not that important to them.
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Originally Posted by mtneer
People who are fit generally prefer someone else who is fit. People who are fat generally prefer someone else who is fat. Its called your comfort zone. Nothing Earth shattering about it.
I'm not sure I agree with this. Just because you're fat doesn't mean you'd automatically prefer someone who's fat. What you're attracted to is usually out of your control and isn't always influenced by what you look like. There are plenty of people who are fat, but still prefer someone who isn't. And while it's easy to assume that someone's who fit would prefer someone who's also fit, I've seen plenty of examples where a fit person wasn't too concerned about their partner being as fit.
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