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My beloved friend and companion for the past decade is also my gym buddy! How terrific is that? It was his idea, after I mentioned that I was going to be going to the gym. It takes me an hour to finish at the gym, and he is usually done about 15 minutes before I am, but so far he doesn't seem to mind waiting. Having a gym buddy is great because I am less likely to skip. We go every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
We are both older and retired, so we have to watch what we eat and at restaurants we often split a meal between the two of us.
I understand the issues associated with socializing with people when you can't eat with them. (I have had a friend scold me for repeatedly only ordering veggie side dishes off menus, saying it was inappropriate to do in a "nice place.")
I can't think of one restaurant that doesn't have several decent vegetarian options on the menu.
...I understand the issues associated with socializing with people when you can't eat with them. (I have had a friend scold me for repeatedly only ordering veggie side dishes off menus, saying it was inappropriate to do in a "nice place.")...
I would tell that "friend" to go pound sand. I'm paying for the food, I'll order whatever I damn well please. It's not like you're eating with your frickin' fingers, for crying out loud!
All I'm saying is that I wish that there some activities that friends/family were willing to participate in that don't involve food or compromising my workouts.
It isn't up to your so-called friends to truly accomodate you. It seems clear they really don't value the same things as you. And it isn't your duty to eat fried foods if you don't want to.
Something's gotta give. I suspect you need to find friends more compatible with you. It is no different with your boyfriend. Either you two agree to ignore the things you like and focus on what works, or you go your separate ways.
I've noticed that strangers tend to treat me a lot better now that I've lost some weight (maybe I project myself more positively?). People that are close to me are happy to see that I'm doing good things for myself and my health.
It's hard not to be a little obsessive about my fitness/diet routine because reaching my goals requires a good deal of effort and focus on my part.
Last edited by springfieldva; 04-29-2011 at 12:27 PM..
Has your dedication to fitness affected your social life? I'm just wondering if anyone has found themselves on an "island" of sorts in making a commitment to maintaining their fitness regimen?
I'm working out 6 days a week and tracking what I eat very carefully. My friends and family are aware of this -- but still insist on asking me to cook things I can't eat or to go places to eat that would completely blow my diet.
I do allow myself treats here and there, but I just can't bring myself to eat a meal that is going to take my numbers off the scale. I'm eating 1200-1400 calories a day (depending on how much I've burned during workout) - and trying to maintain a 40-40-20 ratio in nutrients. Most of my meals are planned to keep me on track with this.
I admit that my workouts are pretty intense. I'm doing the Insanity program and teaching weight training classes twice a week. Once a week if I'm able, I try to get in a Bikram yoga class. I invite people to join me in these activities, but no one is interested.
The guy that I've been seeing gets attitude because I get up early in the morning to workout. He doesn't workout at all and takes it personal that I need that early morning time to get it done.
And it is hard to get people to do things that aren't food related. I've had people make remarks about how gaining weight is an unavoidable part of getting older and I should just accept that. People are downright snarky about it. I think that's crazy. I'm in better shape now than I was when I in my twenties. And I love the fact that I can go toe to toe in a workout with the MMA fighters and young guys at the gym - and still manage to maintain my femininity.
I'd like to have a good time doing other things though. But I'm not willing to blow everything I've achieved in order to do that. It sucks.
Yeah, intense fitness pursuits can make non-fitness-related social activities dwindle to non-existence. This is particularly true if you have to do a ton of rehab/be very mindful of posture/have dietary restrictions due to allergies/etc, fitness/health can take up almost all of your life. I can definitely relate to this.
This is when you realize who your true friends are. True friends will support you in achieving your goals, even if they don't share them. The problem in today's culture is that only a small percentage of people care about being fit and healthy. We ridicule such people and call them things like "gymrat" and "health nut". I workout everyday for at least an hour and it still amazes me that some people think that's too much. When you sit at a desk for 9 hours and in a car for another 2, 1 hour of exercise is hardly what I would call excessive. Beware of the "friends" who mock you and even try to undermine you. I've come home from work and had friends call me up asking me to go out for drinks. I'll tell them I'd rather go work out and they'll act horribly offended. How dare you do something good for yourself? No, I want you to forget about that and come listen to me complain about my idiot boss for the 1000th time while we drink overpriced beer.
I never preach to friends and family about how to eat or about the importance of exercise, but many of them act like I do. I guess in their mind ordering grilled chicken and veggies or going to the gym instead of the bar qualifies as me shoving my healthy lifestyle down their throat. Give me a break. You wanna order the burger and fries, go right ahead. I'm not telling you not to. I think people like this are just upset because you're doing what, deep down, they know they ought to be doing as well. But instead of admitting that, they'll simply say you're being self-righteous and pretentious. Since when is it pretentious to value your own health? You shouldn't have to be ashamed of it. Wanting to go workout after work instead of going to the bar doesn't make you a loser.
If someone takes it personally that you would rather go to the gym instead of hang out with them, then tell them to grow up. I get so tired of people acting like you've horribly inconvenienced them. If you don't value your health, fine. But don't punish me for valuing mine. Don't say stuff like "you won't live any longer than me" or "gaining weight is just part of getting older." Comments like that make it obvious that the person doesn't really care about being your friend. In fact, it sounds more like something you would say to undermine someone.
Sorry for the rant, but this thread really hit a nerve. I put up with this **** from friends and family quite a lot. Most days, I just tune it out. But sometimes, I feel like I have to put these people in their place. I don't tell them how to live their lives, but I don't hide how I live mine. If that costs me friends, I'm OK with it. I would rather have friends who support me, not the kind who get in the way.
This is when you realize who your true friends are. True friends will support you in achieving your goals, even if they don't share them. The problem in today's culture is that only a small percentage of people care about being fit and healthy. We ridicule such people and call them things like "gymrat" and "health nut". I workout everyday for at least an hour and it still amazes me that some people think that's too much. When you sit at a desk for 9 hours and in a car for another 2, 1 hour of exercise is hardly what I would call excessive. Beware of the "friends" who mock you and even try to undermine you. I've come home from work and had friends call me up asking me to go out for drinks. I'll tell them I'd rather go work out and they'll act horribly offended. How dare you do something good for yourself? No, I want you to forget about that and come listen to me complain about my idiot boss for the 1000th time while we drink overpriced beer.
I never preach to friends and family about how to eat or about the importance of exercise, but many of them act like I do. I guess in their mind ordering grilled chicken and veggies or going to the gym instead of the bar qualifies as me shoving my healthy lifestyle down their throat. Give me a break. You wanna order the burger and fries, go right ahead. I'm not telling you not to. I think people like this are just upset because you're doing what, deep down, they know they ought to be doing as well. But instead of admitting that, they'll simply say you're being self-righteous and pretentious. Since when is it pretentious to value your own health? You shouldn't have to be ashamed of it. Wanting to go workout after work instead of going to the bar doesn't make you a loser.
If someone takes it personally that you would rather go to the gym instead of hang out with them, then tell them to grow up. I get so tired of people acting like you've horribly inconvenienced them. If you don't value your health, fine. But don't punish me for valuing mine. Don't say stuff like "you won't live any longer than me" or "gaining weight is just part of getting older." Comments like that make it obvious that the person doesn't really care about being your friend. In fact, it sounds more like something you would say to undermine someone.
Sorry for the rant, but this thread really hit a nerve. I put up with this **** from friends and family quite a lot. Most days, I just tune it out. But sometimes, I feel like I have to put these people in their place. I don't tell them how to live their lives, but I don't hide how I live mine. If that costs me friends, I'm OK with it. I would rather have friends who support me, not the kind who get in the way.
Bravo to this. I completely agree with you on this. Very very well said.
This is when you realize who your true friends are. True friends will support you in achieving your goals, even if they don't share them. The problem in today's culture is that only a small percentage of people care about being fit and healthy. We ridicule such people and call them things like "gymrat" and "health nut". I workout everyday for at least an hour and it still amazes me that some people think that's too much. When you sit at a desk for 9 hours and in a car for another 2, 1 hour of exercise is hardly what I would call excessive. Beware of the "friends" who mock you and even try to undermine you. I've come home from work and had friends call me up asking me to go out for drinks. I'll tell them I'd rather go work out and they'll act horribly offended. How dare you do something good for yourself? No, I want you to forget about that and come listen to me complain about my idiot boss for the 1000th time while we drink overpriced beer.
I never preach to friends and family about how to eat or about the importance of exercise, but many of them act like I do. I guess in their mind ordering grilled chicken and veggies or going to the gym instead of the bar qualifies as me shoving my healthy lifestyle down their throat. Give me a break. You wanna order the burger and fries, go right ahead. I'm not telling you not to. I think people like this are just upset because you're doing what, deep down, they know they ought to be doing as well. But instead of admitting that, they'll simply say you're being self-righteous and pretentious. Since when is it pretentious to value your own health? You shouldn't have to be ashamed of it. Wanting to go workout after work instead of going to the bar doesn't make you a loser.
If someone takes it personally that you would rather go to the gym instead of hang out with them, then tell them to grow up. I get so tired of people acting like you've horribly inconvenienced them. If you don't value your health, fine. But don't punish me for valuing mine. Don't say stuff like "you won't live any longer than me" or "gaining weight is just part of getting older." Comments like that make it obvious that the person doesn't really care about being your friend. In fact, it sounds more like something you would say to undermine someone.
Sorry for the rant, but this thread really hit a nerve. I put up with this **** from friends and family quite a lot. Most days, I just tune it out. But sometimes, I feel like I have to put these people in their place. I don't tell them how to live their lives, but I don't hide how I live mine. If that costs me friends, I'm OK with it. I would rather have friends who support me, not the kind who get in the way.
I get the same stuff from my current GF. She always complains and thinks exercise is taking up too much of my time. She feels like it's not important and it's a hobby like playing video games. So when i tell her I need to go work out, she gets pissed like I'm ignoring her and not focused our relationship. Exercise if anything is good for her. Keeps me energetic, happy, positive, and fit. I try to tell her that if I don't exercise, she will not like me because I will be depressed, fat, and lazy.
I've come home from work and had friends call me up asking me to go out for drinks. I'll tell them I'd rather go work out and they'll act horribly offended.
Of course they would. When you word it that way, you're telling these "friends" that you prefer working out to spending time in their company. Which may be the case -- if so, you should just cut them loose and offend them one final time instead of stringing them along and offending them again and again. If you do want to maintain these friendships, then you must find a way a) to say you've already planned to go to the gym after work a little more diplomatically than "I'd rather go work out"; and b) to make a little time for your friends.
We all need balance in our lives to be completely healthy. Friendships are just as important to overall health as exercise. I work out an hour a day, too -- sometimes more -- but make sure to do it when it doesn't interfere on a daily basis with the other people, commitments, and pleasures in my life. Usually that means getting it out of the way at the crack of dawn, a time of day when there is less likely to be any spontaneity getting in the way of a workout. When a friend calls and asks if I want to go out for a beer after work, or if the spouse wants to go out to dinner, my exercise needs already have been taken care of and I'm free to enjoy myself and my friends' or my husband's company.
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It was his idea, after I mentioned that I was going to be going to the gym. It takes me an hour to finish at the gym, and he is usually done about 15 minutes before I am, but so far he doesn't seem to mind waiting. Having a gym buddy is great because I am less likely to skip. We go every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
I can't think of one restaurant that doesn't have several decent vegetarian options on the menu.
I completely agree with you on this. Very very well said.
