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How exactly do you convince a girl that they need to do the heaviest weights they can manage if they're goal is to only tone? You can't tone when you never do more then the weight you started with on your first day. The heavier the weight you do the faster you tone. Bulking up only happens when you eat 3 pounds of meat per day and drink protein shakes etc.
Then they think they should feel good because they are at least doing small weights. Feel good because you are proving to yourself that you can't overcome anything when it's impossible for someone else to do it for you?
But then you see that one girl working her ass off and hot as hell.
1. Become a trainer, get hired and give her your professional advice.
2. Otherwise, you should probably mind your own business.
I go around all day thinking about how other people could make their lives better. "Hey you! Drop some weight." "You should really quit smoking." "Your marriage was over years ago. Why not ditch the idiot?" "If you start saving now, you can retire a millionnaire at 50." But people don't appreciate unsolicted advice, so you and I will most likely need to keep our wisdom to ourselves.
Otherwise, you should probably mind your own business.
I go around all day thinking about how other people could make their lives better. "Hey you! Drop some weight." "You should really quit smoking." "Your marriage was over years ago. Why not ditch the idiot?" "If you start saving now, you can retire a millionnaire at 50." But people don't appreciate unsolicted advice, so you and I will most likely need to keep our wisdom to ourselves.
Disclaimer: I do not give unsolicited advice, mainly because I usually don't care enough or I don't want to hear people whine, give excuses or risk them being offended.
However like others in this thread, this is the typical response of people who want to live in ignorance and think their way is the only way. I always take "unsolicited" advice whether the person is an idiot or not. I take their advice along with others and with information I have discovered on my own, compare it all and then determine which is the best. I can attribute quite a bit of personal success from people who told me I have been doing things wrong and given advice. It can be in the gym, concerning business and careers, concerning hobbies... anything really. The fact that people are so stubborn to change and improvement just boggles my mind.
People get so offended over stupid things like hearing someone tell you are wrong. Maybe sometimes you aren't, but if you are... then why fight it?
Disclaimer: I do not give unsolicited advice, mainly because I usually don't care enough or I don't want to hear people whine, give excuses or risk them being offended.
However like others in this thread, this is the typical response of people who want to live in ignorance and think their way is the only way. I always take "unsolicited" advice whether the person is an idiot or not. I take their advice along with others and with information I have discovered on my own, compare it all and then determine which is the best. I can attribute quite a bit of personal success from people who told me I have been doing things wrong and given advice. It can be in the gym, concerning business and careers, concerning hobbies... anything really. The fact that people are so stubborn to change and improvement just boggles my mind.
People get so offended over stupid things like hearing someone tell you are wrong. Maybe sometimes you aren't, but if you are... then why fight it?
That's why I was telling the OP to mind his own business--because people tend to whine, give excuses or become offended.
Personally, I don't have a problem with listening to other peoples' suggestions on most things. But, really, what can the OP do other than mention to the woman/women he's thinking about that she might get better results if she lifts heavier weights? She'll either agree and give it a try, or she won't. It's not his duty to convince her to do anything, just like it's not my duty to convince people to lose weight, quit smoking, etc.
For the record, I started lifting heavier weights in my late 40's when I saw a friend who looked great and told me that's what she'd been doing. She didn't try to talk me into it, just told me how much she liked it and the results were obvious. I see lots of women at the gym using the 5 and 8 lb. Barbie weights, but I don't suggest they do anything differently. I figure they see what I'm doing too and if they want to talk about the differences in our workouts they can.
How exactly do you convince a girl that they need to do the heaviest weights they can manage if they're goal is to only tone? You can't tone when you never do more then the weight you started with on your first day. The heavier the weight you do the faster you tone. Bulking up only happens when you eat 3 pounds of meat per day and drink protein shakes etc.
Then they think they should feel good because they are at least doing small weights. Feel good because you are proving to yourself that you can't overcome anything when it's impossible for someone else to do it for you?
But then you see that one girl working her ass off and hot as hell.
This isn't necessarily true.
When I hit the gym I do a combination of weight training and cardio.
When I bulked up to the point friends were calling me Chyna, I was doing a lot more weight training than cardio.
I knew I had to change something, so I switched my workouts. I did double the cardio and cut down on the weight training, using lighter weights. I was able to tone down a lot faster and lost a lot of the bulk, and became more lean instead. Considering my diet had not changed at all, it's clear that's not true.
Another thing to consider: How do you know the weights that woman is lifting is not already a lot for her? How do you know what she's trying to achieve? The point is, you don't know, so making suggestions might come off wrong. For me I know I have arthritis in both wrists, and thus can't lift as much as I used to.
Even with serious weight training you have to start off light and then move up once that weight is no longer a challenge. Considering this is now prime New Years gym rush season, I would be willing to bet a lot of the women you are seeing are new to working out, anyway.
He never really specified if it were a friend or some random at the gym.
It's a friend.
Quote:
Toning can be, and in fact is best done, by lifting lighter weights for more reps. For example, with curls, doing, say, for a woman, 25 lbs. X 20 reps, instead of trying to crank out 50 lbs. 305 times.
You have to stay in some range of your current sweet spot though. You can't just do 5000 reps of a pencil. In my opinion I've found some machines seem more appropriate to do a lot of reps with less weight and vice versa. However either way I've found after a few months you still cap out at the same max weight. This is one of the three ways I know they're cheating. One they should eventually be doing more weight, two they should be so sore they can barely move after the first real work out, and three eventually it should be painful to NOT go to gym.
Personally I think eating right and knowing how to focus on the exact area you want is the best way to tone... So long as you are increasing weights you'll tone. Do the reps until you can't do anymore, then every rep after that one are the ones that will tone you.
So I am going to chime in as someone who is semi scared to lift heavy.
So here is the deal for me personally.
1. I have always had "big" thighs. I mean at age 8 I had to size up in pants to get them over my legs. And lucky me! I have bigger biceps too! Yay! It makes it difficult to find blazers.
So as you can imagine.....I am a little bit concerned about my thighs getting bigger. I generally need to go up a size to get pants to fit. I look for spandex or skirts.
So if you are one of the women out there like me....... you really don't want extra size around your legs (or arms).
I am well aware that there is some sort of happy medium between "heavy" and "light." But I don't want to veer on the side of heavy where I gain size. But on the flip side, too light is too easy.
So if you want to convince a girl like me to ligt heavier, you need to do a couple of things.
1. tell me how to track my progress to ensure I am not getting bigger than I like
2. give me options to reduce "size" if things head into the wrong direction
3. show me evidence that people who are lifting heavy, with my body type, are working toward a physique I admire.
**and that with my body type thing is critical. Many of the "role models" if you will are the opposite in terms of body type of many of the women who are concerned about it.
So what do I do? I like to deal in heavier weights, because it is more fun to me. I also like bodyweight stuff too. But I also measure regularly to make sure things are heading in the right direction. I am not at my goal yet...but I know exactly what I don't want to look like. And I also find it pretty hard to find women with my shape who are lifting heavy. There is some sort of bias towards certain body types.
So I am going to chime in as someone who is semi scared to lift heavy.
So here is the deal for me personally.
1. I have always had "big" thighs. I mean at age 8 I had to size up in pants to get them over my legs. And lucky me! I have bigger biceps too! Yay! It makes it difficult to find blazers.
So as you can imagine.....I am a little bit concerned about my thighs getting bigger. I generally need to go up a size to get pants to fit. I look for spandex or skirts.
So if you are one of the women out there like me....... you really don't want extra size around your legs (or arms).
I am well aware that there is some sort of happy medium between "heavy" and "light." But I don't want to veer on the side of heavy where I gain size. But on the flip side, too light is too easy.
So if you want to convince a girl like me to ligt heavier, you need to do a couple of things.
1. tell me how to track my progress to ensure I am not getting bigger than I like
2. give me options to reduce "size" if things head into the wrong direction
3. show me evidence that people who are lifting heavy, with my body type, are working toward a physique I admire.
**and that with my body type thing is critical. Many of the "role models" if you will are the opposite in terms of body type of many of the women who are concerned about it.
So what do I do? I like to deal in heavier weights, because it is more fun to me. I also like bodyweight stuff too. But I also measure regularly to make sure things are heading in the right direction. I am not at my goal yet...but I know exactly what I don't want to look like. And I also find it pretty hard to find women with my shape who are lifting heavy. There is some sort of bias towards certain body types.
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