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I do NOT mean to sound rude, mean, or anything like that. My comments are based on my experiences that in some ways parallel yours.
All of those life events you mentioned, life events many of us experience and sometimes more so when married, are excuses. I made them time and time again, until I realized that the most important person to take care of was myself, because if I wasn't fit or healthy then what good would I be to others in my family. That was my mental breakthrough to never again fight working out or not finding the time. Instead, I found the time and whatever else was given up, whether it be 1/2 of work or TV or anything.
I am an at home workout person. I guess luckily I don't feel bored sitting on a spin bike or running a treadmill while watching TV or listening to music. I have enjoyed all of the Beachbody workouts I've done, and like you mention, you get a feeling of self accomplishment (although that can be had from any form of exercise). P90X was definitely a challenge.
For me, I have had no one to workout with, or push or motivate me. My effort comes entirely from within, and in some ways it makes me feel the best, that I can push through on my own without external motivation. Simply realizing that exercising and eating healthy can be fun, with the health benefits being the gravy, is enough for me. But, I wasn't always like that - I had to keep pushing myself until I found my groove.
All of those life events you mentioned, life events many of us experience and sometimes more so when married, are excuses. I made them time and time again, until I realized that the most important person to take care of was myself, because if I wasn't fit or healthy then what good would I be to others in my family. That was my mental breakthrough to never again fight working out or not finding the time. Instead, I found the time and whatever else was given up, whether it be 1/2 of work or TV or anything.
You took the words right out of my fingertips. First and foremost above anything and everything, fitness is about me, myself and I. The person saying if their spouse or significant other doesn't like exercise it is reason or a cause to stop exercising, sorry, but that is total hogwash. You need to have a personal relationship with nutrition and exercise and anything that tries to keep you away from it is nothing but noise. What keeps me going and I have said it for decades, "when I am standing there, I like to feel like I am standing there." I like to feel like if someone were to walk up to me and give me a shove, I'm not moving. Everything in life is easier when you are in shape and take care of yourself. Mentally, physically and most importantly, spiritually, life is so much better when you feel good and take care of yourself.
@skinsguy37
All of those life events you mentioned, life events many of us experience and sometimes more so when married, are excuses
I only partially agree to this statement. Some life events are quite taxing and stressful such that it's hard to maintain sanity let alone having the time or peace of mind to think about diet and exercise! It is much easier to maintain a healthy routine when there are no interruptions, no breaks. Once you get slack off from good habits, it takes a lot of effort to get back on track.
I think it is quite commendable for the OP to recognize the problems and get motivated to resume his exercises, to plan to loose weight and get back to being fit and healthy.
Note to skinsguy37,
I understand your situation much better after reading your explanations. Since I LOVE Italian foods, I think your wife's cooking is your biggest problem ;-) Kidding aside, based on my experience, I think cutting back on the pasta or using whole wheat high fiber variety will certainly help with weight loss. You may also want to drink lots of water before a meal and throughout the day. Just make sure to reduce sodium intake at the same time to reduce water retention. I'm certain that with your determination, a change in diet and getting back to doing P90X will get you back in shape in a short time. Good luck.
I'd blame it all on the wife. Not really, but I'll bet the OP is a lot less in control of what he eats since he got married. Eat it all, but eat it differently - don't ladle on the sauce with the pasta, just toss some with a little sauce. Have a salad, careful with the dressing; the whole family will benefit. Get that Chick-fil-A every 2-3 weeks but leave off the mayo and leave half the bread on the plate. Don't ever eat someone else's leftovers. And have that glass of merlot every couple of days - you deserve it, but make it three ounces instead of five or six.
I do NOT mean to sound rude, mean, or anything like that. My comments are based on my experiences that in some ways parallel yours.
All of those life events you mentioned, life events many of us experience and sometimes more so when married, are excuses. I made them time and time again, until I realized that the most important person to take care of was myself, because if I wasn't fit or healthy then what good would I be to others in my family. That was my mental breakthrough to never again fight working out or not finding the time. Instead, I found the time and whatever else was given up, whether it be 1/2 of work or TV or anything.
See, this is why I was a little hesitant to talk about why I allowed myself to get out shape. There's always going to be someone out there who's going to say, well you just made excuses. Let me tell you, if you think having a premature baby in the NICU for over three months with heart failure is an excuse, then by all means, that is the excuse I'm going to give. Any sane person, any sane parent, especially a first time parent, is going to put self last and baby first. I spent all of my free time at the hospital with my son. And then spent two more weeks at Duke University Hospital with him while he recovered from open-heart surgery. So again, do you really think I should have placed my exercise regime ahead of my infant son? Even when he finally got to come home for the first time in his life, we still had to handle him with extreme caution while he healed. It took a great deal of time from both my wife and myself in the beginning. Besides a quick 15 minutes here and there to get on the treadmill - which is what I did, there wasn't a lot of wiggle room in the beginning for me to have a set workout schedule.
Sure, you can look at the rest of what went on in my life and say, "Well, that's nothing nobody else has went through before, all excuses", and you might be right, you might be wrong. Either way, whether if it was excuses, or legit reasons for my getting out of shape, it doesn't change the fact that I did get out of shape, and now, I'm getting myself back in shape. I would much rather focus on what I'm doing now. The whole point of this thread was basically me, publicly acknowledging that, "You know, I let myself go, I'm in the worst shape of my life. I own it. I'm living it. Now, I'm changing it." We can dwell on the negative, or we can focus on the positive. The positive is that I've finished three days of P90X. I have worked very hard. I'm starting to already see some, minor, improvements.
First off, just know that people tend to be very fast to cry "excuses" when it comes to others, but likely not so much when it comes to themselves. Sometimes it's not excuses that hinder us, but circumstances. We all deal with circumstances differently and prioritize differently, so don't let someone else's definition of "excuses" get to you.
You're at it now, so good on you. I can't really give you any advice others haven't already shared. The P90x worked before, and with the right diet it can work again. Maybe once you've completed this round of P90x you can reassess your baseline level of fitness and maybe get a gym membership to further pursue your goals.
Well, here's what happened: When my wife and I started dating in 2010, I was in really good shape. However, she's Italian, and her family loves to make big Italian meals! But anyway, what really happened was that I had developed a foot issue, plantar fasciitis in my right foot. It wasn't so severe that I needed surgery, but enough to where I needed to rest it. So, I had to drop down to two to three days a week of exercise. Even the lightest exercise bothered it, so it really limited me in terms of exercise.
Now, during this time, we're planning our wedding and I'm planning on moving to NC from VA. We're also in the process of buying a house. So, I'm in the process of packing up my house. Needless to say, about three months before our wedding, I had no time to exercise. So, I was up about 30 pounds by our wedding. However, once we got married, went on our honeymoon, and settled in to our new house, I was able to start exercising again. I started getting back into pretty decent shape. Not as good as before, but I was slowly getting back to where I should be. My foot had healed by that point, so I didn't feel any pain or have any swelling when I'd exercise.
So, I felt like I was on my way to getting back in shape, when my wife tells me she's pregnant. But soon after that, she miscarriages. Then shortly after that, my parents' house (my childhood home) burns down with my parents barely escaping with their lives. So for the next several months, we're spending time helping them out. Exercise was here and there but very sporadic. Next, my wife tells me she's pregnant again, has a very rough pregnancy, from which I'm spending time taking care of her. By this point, I'm just choosing exercise that can do in around 15 minutes or so. Not really getting a chance to get a good hard workout in. And if you don't know, husbands tend to gain weight along with their wives during pregnancy, because you're wife wants you to take her out for hot dogs after eating pizza (her cravings), and she can't finish it and she wants you to finish it.....needless to say, I probably put on more weight than she did during pregnancy!
Well, fast forward to the birth of our child - almost two months early. He has a heart condition, so he spent the first three months of his life in the NICU. We spent every waken minute, that was not at work, at the hospital with him. So, we'd grab hospital food or fast food, whatever we could. We were not at home, so we couldn't cook. Once we finally got his heart surgery taken care of, it took awhile for us to get him home, and then of course you're trying to adjust to life with a newborn at home.
So, that brings me up to this point. Just so many different life events (also me switching jobs during all of this), so much stress that I (we) went through, injury, and time constraints, and suddenly I'm about 50 pounds overweight. During this process, there was a couple six month stretches where I didn't exercise. So, it wasn't necessarily an issue of me not knowing how to eat properly, or not choosing the right type of exercise - it was combination of a lot of things, mostly stress. Now that my son is home, and he's recovered from being a heart patient, my wife and I are finally getting back into being more healthier. We've adjusted to getting up during the middle of the night to feed him, so now I felt was the time to start getting myself back into shape.
For the record, I did start off with a few days of walking and jogging on the treadmill, but I hate it. It's so boring to me, even when I'm able to watch TV while jogging, I just don't like it as much as something like P90X. I love weight training, but I don't like to be away from home after work, so the gym is out for me. P90X gives me the program for resistance training along with the cardio, and I can do all of this while I'm watching my son. I got through my second day yesterday, and while I was pooped after the workout, I felt so good! I won't lie to you and say I don't want to whip myself in shape as fast as possible. Heck, I'd love to be in tip top shape by summer, but P90X has been the only thing that has given me a sense of accomplishment when it comes to exercise programs. I've even tried Insanity, but I don't like it nearly as much much as P90X. I guess, in the end, I feel like the exercise needs to be interesting, and I need to be pushed. I like a challenge, and I've definitely placed myself in a big challenge this time!
Yep! for 'stress eaters' that sure happens. I have just two brief thoughts, and they continue to work for me: 1.Everything in moderation. 2.slow and steady wins the race. It's not rocket science, but more common sense. I have been where you are many times in my life, then one day it all just 'clicked' and became crystal clear to me.
None of us are perfect 24/7/365. We have lives that we have little control over in the grand scheme of things. I hope for you, that you have more good/great days than bad. Good luck in your weight loss pursuit!
You took the words right out of my fingertips. First and foremost above anything and everything, fitness is about me, myself and I. The person saying if their spouse or significant other doesn't like exercise it is reason or a cause to stop exercising, sorry, but that is total hogwash. You need to have a personal relationship with nutrition and exercise and anything that tries to keep you away from it is nothing but noise. What keeps me going and I have said it for decades, "when I am standing there, I like to feel like I am standing there." I like to feel like if someone were to walk up to me and give me a shove, I'm not moving. Everything in life is easier when you are in shape and take care of yourself. Mentally, physically and most importantly, spiritually, life is so much better when you feel good and take care of yourself.
You are twisting my words to make a point. I never said what you imply. I said that the o.p. would be wise to take in the entire reality of his situation and adopt a strategy that recognizes them. Do you have a wife? Child(ren)? Good on you if you can act like they don't exist and pursue your fitness goals in isolation. Those of us in the real world know that isn't realistic in the long term. Even if a partner does not stand in the way of your goals there will be an inevitable collision with the fact that one day one partner will be much fitter (and all that goes with that) than the other.
See, this is why I was a little hesitant to talk about why I allowed myself to get out shape. There's always going to be someone out there who's going to say, well you just made excuses. Let me tell you, if you think having a premature baby in the NICU for over three months with heart failure is an excuse, then by all means, that is the excuse I'm going to give. Any sane person, any sane parent, especially a first time parent, is going to put self last and baby first. I spent all of my free time at the hospital with my son. And then spent two more weeks at Duke University Hospital with him while he recovered from open-heart surgery. So again, do you really think I should have placed my exercise regime ahead of my infant son? Even when he finally got to come home for the first time in his life, we still had to handle him with extreme caution while he healed. It took a great deal of time from both my wife and myself in the beginning. Besides a quick 15 minutes here and there to get on the treadmill - which is what I did, there wasn't a lot of wiggle room in the beginning for me to have a set workout schedule.
Sure, you can look at the rest of what went on in my life and say, "Well, that's nothing nobody else has went through before, all excuses", and you might be right, you might be wrong. Either way, whether if it was excuses, or legit reasons for my getting out of shape, it doesn't change the fact that I did get out of shape, and now, I'm getting myself back in shape. I would much rather focus on what I'm doing now. The whole point of this thread was basically me, publicly acknowledging that, "You know, I let myself go, I'm in the worst shape of my life. I own it. I'm living it. Now, I'm changing it." We can dwell on the negative, or we can focus on the positive. The positive is that I've finished three days of P90X. I have worked very hard. I'm starting to already see some, minor, improvements.
Do you think you are all done with 'life stuff' and its all smooth sailing from here? It sounds like it. I'm thinking you haven't yet run through all the dog poo that a normal life can put in a person's way. So you need to learn coping mechanisms that do not involve getting seriously out of shape when shtf. I did some casual Googling about this P90 program and I am not surprised to discover that it is heavily marketed and has the sale of DVD's and worksheet schedules as a core (see what I did there?) feature. Whatever. I don't have money to burn that way and I suspect lots of people are following ersatz P90 programs without purchasing any of the official material. Maybe that works, maybe it doesn't. But fitness isn't rocket science. Its basic body mechanics and nutrition.
There are vegans, vegetarians, paleovores and omnivores. All these nutritional disciplines can work, but some are more efficient than others. Vegans and Vegetarians have a very inefficient diet strategy that they justify on ethical and other grounds. A bodybuilding vegetarian has to practically become a non-stop eating machine to stay on top of an active body's need for protein. As with nutrition so goes the strength training. You can build an impressive body without using any gym equipment whatsoever. You will have to do hundreds of repetitions you have to create intensity and progression through speed and the avoidance of rest. There are far more meat eating humans that vegan ones mainly because it is so much more efficient to eat some meat. Likewise there are far more strength athletes using weights to build strength and to look better. FWIW.
First off, just know that people tend to be very fast to cry "excuses" when it comes to others, but likely not so much when it comes to themselves. Sometimes it's not excuses that hinder us, but circumstances. We all deal with circumstances differently and prioritize differently, so don't let someone else's definition of "excuses" get to you.
You're at it now, so good on you. I can't really give you any advice others haven't already shared. The P90x worked before, and with the right diet it can work again. Maybe once you've completed this round of P90x you can reassess your baseline level of fitness and maybe get a gym membership to further pursue your goals.
Yeah, I mean, why does it really matter how I got out of shape to begin with? An excuse to me is, "I just had a bad day and didn't think I needed to workout", or "I just wanted to watch TV". I mean, parents' house burning down and me driving over and hour to get to them in the hospital seems legit to me. Same with having a preemie with heart failure. Or having to take my wife to the emergency room because she's in horrible pain. You know, things that physically take you away from the gym or your home gym. Things that require your immediate attention. after all, what if I had said to my wife, "Honey, I realize that my parents are in the hospital being treated for smoke inhalation, but I have to do three more sets of dead lifts and drink my recovery drink before I go anywhere!" Anyone who thinks self is more important needs to have their head and heart examined!
Now, in terms of the exercise itself, I've searched for other things that would interest me. Each time, it seems like P90X always the thing that gives me that sense of accomplishment, and the fact that I can see small differences almost from the beginning. I love weight training, but I enjoy working out at home as opposed to the gym. And I don't really have the space for a big setup of weight machines at the house, so something like P90X workout videos always seems to fit my needs. It doesn't have to be P90X. It can be anything else, but that workout has been the one thing that I've always responded well to.
Seeing as that today is my 40th birthday. I figured it was a good thing for me to make the beginning of my 40's to say, new decade, new era, let my 40's shape my health of my 50's and beyond.
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