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I feel depressed when I'm exercising with people around me. Exercise is MY time. It's personal to me, a mental (and physical) therapy session to clear myself of life around and focus just on me.
I prefer to exercise alone. I love my middle of the night bike rides. There is one woman that I meet up with from time to time that rides late at night but she is too slow for me. I'll ride with her for a few minutes to talk but I have this need for speed and that endorphin kick. There's only one way to get that rush and it isn't socializing.
I don't like gyms. I'd rather walk my dogs then be on a boring tread mill. I would rather do some heavy lifting on house projects and gardening.
There's skiing in the winter and I prefer to be alone doing that as well.
I do like socializing with the people we ice skate and roller skate with, but only if we're moving. You will rarely see me sitting around at the rinks.
John and I will be on the bike trail again soon. We do a 12 mile ride once or twice a week, but not in 90 degree weather. That's why I like my two to three hour night rides.....alone.
It's very sad that your boyfriend is so rigid about having exercise equipment in the house. We have a stationary bike in our laundry room. It doesn't take up that much room. He sounds very selfish.
As usual I woke up at 5:30am jonesing for an outdoor workout but after a lifetime of running & hiking & biking etc outdoors alone I just can't motivate myself to do it anymore because even though it feels so damn good, the loneliness is maddening. Feels like crying.
So I'm sitting on my yoga mat in the living room and can't bear to do yoga alone, so pathetic & pointless & lonely. My boyfriend, I've come to accept, is attracted to me because of my healthy fit body but I eventually realized that he likes LOOKING at fit bodies but has no interest in exercising himself.
I'm so ****ing lonely & depressed, it's so hard to find healthy people to exercise with. I'm turning into my sedentary boyfriend, I'm so depressed when I'm sedentary but he has made it clear that he will never, EVER exercise or even go on a nature walk with me :'( And since I live in his house, he forbids me to have a treadmill or elliptical machine because he says it will ruin the decor. For crying out loud, he has a 3-story house, and he & I are the only ones in it!! He never even goes in the basement, but nope, no exercise equipment allowed. He doesn't realize (even though I've told him a hundred times) that exercise is my antidepressant. Having a tradmill/ elliptical in the house is as essential to me as an oxygen machine is to an emphysema patient! Without exercise I am a zombie and he's losing attraction to me after he has turned me into a zombie!
So he's said, "Go buy your own house, then you can put a treadmill in it." Oh great, so he'd rather live alone than have a treadmill in his basement.
This may sound like a first-world problem but my depression is so bad that if I don't work out as soon as I wake up in the morning, depression has already clobbered me by the time the gym opens.
Sounds to me like you got yourself into a bad situation mostly because you like this dudes house (and income?). As someone who exercises daily, and lives and active lifestyle, I would NEVER EVER EVER EVER under ANY circumstances get into a relationship with a homebody non-exercise person. ESPECIALLY if that person seems mostly interested in how my body looks. Plus, you said "He forbids me...." and to most sane people, that is an instant dealbreaker in a relationship.
You need to move out. Join a yoga studio and/or a local gym. Meet people who are into what you are into, or at least people who wont make it difficult for you to do things that are important to you in your life. But, you probably like living comfortably in the house so you wont do anything about.
This has 0% to do with exercise and 100% to do with your troubled relationship and living situation. If your boyfriend wasn't such a joke, you could probably work out alone just fine- like pretty much everyone else at the gym.
I'd think that if I had a 3 story house and what I saw as a hot girlfriend who was into continuing to look hot, she could have a whole floor to herself. Have a full home gym if you want. I am somewhat active myself so I would have use for it too, but unless this 3 story house is 3 10x12 rooms stacked on top of each other I don't see what one guy would need 3 floors for. Seems like he's just doing this as a power move because he thinks he owns you (does he?)...
I agree with the previous poster about this being a relationship issue rather than an exercise issue. FWIW, I prefer to work out alone. I am fine working out with others but at the end of the day, I'm a lone wolf. Maybe some solitary workout time can actually help with the stress that you are experiencing.
I'm not sure what part of nova you're in but I do know that nova has 24 hour gyms in a few locations. But I don't think exercise is the cause of your depression.
This has 0% to do with exercise and 100% to do with your troubled relationship and living situation. If your boyfriend wasn't such a joke, you could probably work out alone just fine- like pretty much everyone else at the gym.
I'd think that if I had a 3 story house and what I saw as a hot girlfriend who was into continuing to look hot, she could have a whole floor to herself. Have a full home gym if you want. I am somewhat active myself so I would have use for it too, but unless this 3 story house is 3 10x12 rooms stacked on top of each other I don't see what one guy would need 3 floors for. Seems like he's just doing this as a power move because he thinks he owns you (does he?)...
I agree with this post! Your boyfriend sounds like a controlling jerk.
I'd go run an out and back, but not come back to his house.
As usual I woke up at 5:30am jonesing for an outdoor workout but after a lifetime of running & hiking & biking etc outdoors alone I just can't motivate myself to do it anymore because even though it feels so damn good, the loneliness is maddening. Feels like crying.
So I'm sitting on my yoga mat in the living room and can't bear to do yoga alone, so pathetic & pointless & lonely. My boyfriend, I've come to accept, is attracted to me because of my healthy fit body but I eventually realized that he likes LOOKING at fit bodies but has no interest in exercising himself.
I'm so ****ing lonely & depressed, it's so hard to find healthy people to exercise with. I'm turning into my sedentary boyfriend, I'm so depressed when I'm sedentary but he has made it clear that he will never, EVER exercise or even go on a nature walk with me :'( And since I live in his house, he forbids me to have a treadmill or elliptical machine because he says it will ruin the decor. For crying out loud, he has a 3-story house, and he & I are the only ones in it!! He never even goes in the basement, but nope, no exercise equipment allowed. He doesn't realize (even though I've told him a hundred times) that exercise is my antidepressant. Having a tradmill/ elliptical in the house is as essential to me as an oxygen machine is to an emphysema patient! Without exercise I am a zombie and he's losing attraction to me after he has turned me into a zombie!
So he's said, "Go buy your own house, then you can put a treadmill in it." Oh great, so he'd rather live alone than have a treadmill in his basement.
This may sound like a first-world problem but my depression is so bad that if I don't work out as soon as I wake up in the morning, depression has already clobbered me by the time the gym opens.
I would so take him up on that and get my own place. Seriously, I guess you never plan to marry this guy someday. Then if you spend a lot of time at a gym working out, that can become another issue. Take his advice please.
jesus, Zelpha, why are you living with such a ******* LOSER???
He was a personal fitness trainer before he went into his current industry, and long before I met him. So I THOUGHT he was into fitness! When I met him he spent several evenings a week officiating basketball games, running up & down the court, so I THOUGHT he was active! But he stopped officiating B-ball over a year ago :/
I wrote a long detailed answer to a lot of this thread's q&a's but decided to leave all that drama out because this is a fitness thread, not about relationships. PM me if you're dying to know more
Anyway, yes I've loved solitary outdoor running & hiking & biking just as much as many of you do, and for decades, but over time it's become repetitive & lonely. I often see healthy couples out there on the trails together and I want to be part of a happy healthy couple exercising outdoors too.
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