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Why does that person have to be your boyfriend? Certainly you've got other friends you could ask to be your workout buddy, or you can take a class and meet people that way.
True. And I do chat with people at the gym. I guess I'm coming to realize my man isn't who I'd hoped he was. He isn't active & outdoorsy, we have no hobbies or life philosophies in common whatsoever. I want to grow old with someone that shares my passion for health & exercise & nature. This guy doesn't seem to, and probably never will :'(
He saved my life when I met him, and he has a great personality, and he's easy on the eyes. I wish he'd take care of his health :'( He was single when I met him because his hot (now ex)wife left him for someone else.
I know well the fear of being alone, and the willingness to accept ridiculousness to avoid it. But this guy takes your entire paycheck yet insists he controls what can come into the house because he owns it? Hell, no. Stop giving him your whole check. Get some therapy. Work on yourself so you won't be so vulnerable to exploitation.
Find the man who will be by your side! He doesn't have to share every activity, and neither do you - but being active is part of your core values and not part of his.
For example: My husband is a runner and a soccer player. I'm into Pilates (reformer), hiking, boogie boarding (when I can), snowshoeing, and Nordic skiing. Sadly I have health issues that cause me to avoid impact, so I can't share running with him, but in addition to his running - that man has stepped up and taken on every activity I love, and we've found new ones together. He didn't know if he'd love them or not, but he was willing to try anything I loved because he wanted to share that with me (and he's taken to all of them - including working out on the reformer), and it means a lot to be able to share part of yourself with someone else.
I may have been happy with a great trail before I met him, but sharing one with him means the world! Sitting shoulder to shoulder on a large boulder, looking at an alpine lake that we worked hard to get to is a sweet, sweet moment. I may not be able to run 10 K's or do Tough Mudders with him, but I am always there (sometimes with a handy water bottle to wash the mud out of his eye). Schmoopiness aside, he's also my biggest and bestest cheerleader (and I'm his) which helps a lot when I'm hurting and grumpy. On a recent vacation we both tried snorkeling and rappelling for the first time and it rocked!
I don't think you're depressed about working out by yourself, I think you're depressed because you're coming to the realization that your partner devalues that part of you (while enjoying the results), and realizing that as long as you're with him, you will always be working out alone.
Do you really want to be long term with someone who won't have adventures with you??
(and it's very telling that he's particular about his house - you know, the one you happen to live in too?)
I think the OP is either exaggerating or needs to go get medical help. That depression level doesn't sound appropriate for the stimuli or lack of stimuli that is present.
OP, I feel your surroundings and where you live has a lot to do with your motivations. In northern Virginia, maybe being in good condition is not so much a thing. If you were here in LA, there's a bigger culture for that type of thing so you are more compelled to stay fit. Also, the weather here means you have more opportunity to show off the hard work, and there's not winter coats to hide the pudge.
As for doing it alone, personally in the gym, I see waaaaay too many conversations that turn 45 minute workouts in 2 hours. I used to work out at home once upon a time living in NYC but now it is the most depressing thing to me. Seeing others in the gym looking good, getting stronger, makes me not wanna miss the party.
Yup, when I moved to Virginia in 2013 I was taken aback by how unhealthy most people are here. NoVA is money-driven & stressfull as hell. Ironically I moved here to attend a 6-month vocational school to become a fitness trainer and we had to sit on our butts in a classroom so much during those six months that I fell out of shape for awhile, and my lordosis came back
Ah yes, Los Angeles. I grew up in Huntington Beach California. I miss year-round 70 farenheit and healthy culture.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
I think the OP is either exaggerating or needs to go get medical help. That depression level doesn't sound appropriate for the stimuli or lack of stimuli that is present.
My depression is pretty severe, and I have been through the entire rigmarole with medical help. Medicines, hospitalizations, everything. After years of trial & error, doctors & I agree that exercise & full-spectrum light & nutritious food are my best medicines.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Va83
I'm not sure what part of nova you're in but I do know that nova has 24 hour gyms in a few locations. But I don't think exercise is the cause of your depression.
Yes, there's Lifetime Fitness (membership rates start at $100/month!!) and Anytime Fitness ($50/month,teeny tiny gym) about 30 minutes from me. And another 24/7/365 gym I can't remember the name of. Believe me, if I was wealthy I would love that. A 24 hour gym membership is on my wish list of unreachable wishes. I wish health insurance would cover gym memberships My need for a gym is a medical necessity...As is EVERYONE'S of course.
Find the man who will be by your side! He doesn't have to share every activity, and neither do you - but being active is part of your core values and not part of his.
For example: My husband is a runner and a soccer player. I'm into Pilates (reformer), hiking, boogie boarding (when I can), snowshoeing, and Nordic skiing. Sadly I have health issues that cause me to avoid impact, so I can't share running with him, but in addition to his running - that man has stepped up and taken on every activity I love, and we've found new ones together. He didn't know if he'd love them or not, but he was willing to try anything I loved because he wanted to share that with me (and he's taken to all of them - including working out on the reformer), and it means a lot to be able to share part of yourself with someone else.
I may have been happy with a great trail before I met him, but sharing one with him means the world! Sitting shoulder to shoulder on a large boulder, looking at an alpine lake that we worked hard to get to is a sweet, sweet moment. I may not be able to run 10 K's or do Tough Mudders with him, but I am always there (sometimes with a handy water bottle to wash the mud out of his eye). Schmoopiness aside, he's also my biggest and bestest cheerleader (and I'm his) which helps a lot when I'm hurting and grumpy. On a recent vacation we both tried snorkeling and rappelling for the first time and it rocked!
I don't think you're depressed about working out by yourself, I think you're depressed because you're coming to the realization that your partner devalues that part of you (while enjoying the results), and realizing that as long as you're with him, you will always be working out alone.
Do you really want to be long term with someone who won't have adventures with you??
(and it's very telling that he's particular about his house - you know, the one you happen to live in too?)
I don't mind working out alone. It doesn't depress me at all. I love going for a walk on my own. My BF hates running so if I want to go for a run I'll usually be alone. That's fine. Most people at the gym come alone, or they do come with someone else and they split up. That's what we do when we go work out together...we aren't attached at the hip when we're there. We have different things to work on.
But! I bought a hand bike for myself, my BF doesn't care about my hand bike. But he wasn't about to prevent me. If I bought a treadmill he would never use it. If he bought an elliptical I wouldn't use it. But neither of us care if the other one has it in the house. Why on earth would we?!
He sounds like a control freak OP. Time to lose ~200 lbs.
OP do you live near your city's community center? I am within walking distance of mine. The workout facilities are good and membership is $40 a year. The classes are an additional $25/month and you can go to 3 classes 5 days a week on that if you want. Most of other nearby cities are more expensive (like a couple hundred a year) but that is still a lot cheaper and in my experience the facilities are just as nice. Maybe you could do that if you want an affordable gym environment.
My employer provides discounts for gyms, can you look into that?
My employer also has a gym in the building but the hours don't work for me.
I get you on missing the outdoor healthy culture. I practically lived outside when I lived in HB. My BF and I have two small dogs and we had great fun spending the whole day outside with them. People look at me cross-eyed when I say they like to go for 3 mile walks, but it's true. I love exploring trails with him too. I get it. Is your BF suffering from depression maybe?
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Get a treadmill and lose the boyfriend.
and we had to sit on our butts in a classroom so much during those six months that I fell out of shape for awhile, and my lordosis came back 
) and Anytime Fitness ($50/month,teeny tiny gym) about 30 minutes from me. And another 24/7/365 gym I can't remember the name of. Believe me, if I was wealthy I would love that. A 24 hour gym membership is on my wish list of unreachable wishes. I wish health insurance would cover gym memberships 
My need for a gym is a medical necessity...As is EVERYONE'S of course.
