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Old 07-14-2019, 06:21 PM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,302,912 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312 View Post
I believe that single men should approach women in the gym and try to find dates there. I have done it at times when I have been single and looking.

At the gym, there is a lot of earbud wearing women. Ignore that. If a woman is wearing earbuds and attractive, approach her. Almost all attractive women are wearing earbuds in the gym now, so it is silly to not approach those women because selection will diminish dramatically.

One workaround to the earbud issue is going to fitness classes. There are a variety of classes that can be attended from yoga, to interval training, to boxing/kickboxing, and so on. Almost all of these classes are majority female, which beats the ratios at any bars or nightclubs.

In any gym or fitness class approach, an approach should start with an engaging observation, asking some questions about her and fitness, and then seeing if the two of you have some commonality that would warrant going to a bar for drinks for 1+ hours.

The best piece of advice that I can give to anyone interested in doing gym pickup is to get a secondary gym membership and only use that secondary gym for approaching, keeping the primary gym free of any potential uncomfortable situations that may arise from a failed pickup attempt. Classpass is the perfect solution for this. Classpass is an app that allows you to go to as many gym classes/studios as possible, so long as they participate in Classpass. Classpass was originally designed for women wanting to take different classes from different studios, but it is perfect for single guys who want to show up at a place, hit on some women, see what comes of it, and not repeat much at a place. Classpass would enable a guy to treat gyms like the bar scene.
I wouldn't be too happy about a woman approaching me when I have my headphones/earbuds in. So I'm not approaching women with earbuds on. If almost all attractive women are wearing earbuds in the gym, this probably has something to do with those thirsty boys running around with their in their hand.


Otherwise, there are some good pieces of advice. Classes can be a good way to meet people.


I believe you could meet people in the gym. But there are much better places to meet women or much better contexts. Women are going to be busy getting their exercise. So it would be even more hit and miss than if you go where it is more leisurely.
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Old 07-15-2019, 07:04 AM
 
9,273 posts, read 8,179,283 times
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To flip the script a bit, at a previous gym I had a gay male zero in on me. For months I'd catch him eyeballing me juuuuuust a bit too much for my comfort. Eventually he found a reason to approach me and chit chat about something, I believe he weaseled into a conversation I was having with a buddy at the gym. I tried to be nice but let him know I am straight through lots of stories of "My wife" and "My kid" and sports talk. This apparently went in one ear and out the other as one day he asked me out to lunch. Of course, I declined but from that experience alone I now totally get how a female could feel completely off put by some leechy d-bag constantly approaching her at a gym when all she wants to do is workout.

Once, coming out of the stall after doing my business he was standing there waiting and upon opening the door he stretched out his hand to shake mine. That was the day I decided that gym was no longer for me. Ewww.
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Old 07-15-2019, 09:41 AM
 
Location: NJ
31,771 posts, read 40,472,612 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunbiz1 View Post
Haven't asked for a number in 2 years, as the last fitness model I did turned out to be the married to the chief of police.
She was the out-going type, and not wearing the rubber band to replace the ring.
I now consider the gym off-limits for dating.
considering that 40% of police are known to abuse their wives; you probably had a great shot with her.
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Old 07-15-2019, 07:19 PM
 
5,427 posts, read 4,407,190 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602 View Post
I believe you could meet people in the gym. But there are much better places to meet women or much better contexts. Women are going to be busy getting their exercise. So it would be even more hit and miss than if you go where it is more leisurely.
Here's the problem with that. An excuse can be made for almost any venue. Grocery store? People are in there to get their shopping done and not socialize. Mall? Same thing. App? Women's queues/inboxes are flooded. Bars? Have a reputation for being sleazy. There's not a perfect place to meet. Any sort of in person approaching is going to be invasive to women. However, a single guy isn't going to be able to stand out on an app with hundreds of options and no in-person experience to base judgments upon.

The ideal means of meeting people is through social circle. However, I have never had a social circle capable of producing dates at any point in my adult life, so in order to achieve my objectives, I need to be invasive towards people's time. I don't care either. I have to show that my invasiveness will add value to their lives.

Cold approaching is often a very tough sales game.
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Old 07-16-2019, 02:12 PM
 
Location: NJ
31,771 posts, read 40,472,612 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312 View Post
Cold approaching is often a very tough sales game.
its funny to see the high and mighty saying that its wrong for a single guy to approach women in the gym (or anywhere). if you want to meet women, approaching them anywhere is a reasonable thing to do. like you said, its sales and you are selling yourself. not everyone is a buyer and so you move on. but there are a lot of buyers out there if you are selling something that they may be interested in. you fail every time you dont try.

if i was single; i would absolutely be willing to approach any woman i want to spend time with. if you see someone you may be interested in while at the gym; you may never see her again. so your hope for love is going to depend on where you are at the moment? i dont care if you are at a funeral; you can take a shot.
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Old 07-16-2019, 02:27 PM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,302,912 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Florida2014 View Post
To flip the script a bit, at a previous gym I had a gay male zero in on me. For months I'd catch him eyeballing me juuuuuust a bit too much for my comfort. Eventually he found a reason to approach me and chit chat about something, I believe he weaseled into a conversation I was having with a buddy at the gym. I tried to be nice but let him know I am straight through lots of stories of "My wife" and "My kid" and sports talk. This apparently went in one ear and out the other as one day he asked me out to lunch. Of course, I declined but from that experience alone I now totally get how a female could feel completely off put by some leechy d-bag constantly approaching her at a gym when all she wants to do is workout.

Once, coming out of the stall after doing my business he was standing there waiting and upon opening the door he stretched out his hand to shake mine. That was the day I decided that gym was no longer for me. Ewww.
Things like this happen with me almost everywhere I go. It gets really disturbing too.
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Old 07-16-2019, 02:37 PM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,302,912 times
Reputation: 7328
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312 View Post
Here's the problem with that. An excuse can be made for almost any venue. Grocery store? People are in there to get their shopping done and not socialize. Mall? Same thing. App? Women's queues/inboxes are flooded. Bars? Have a reputation for being sleazy. There's not a perfect place to meet. Any sort of in person approaching is going to be invasive to women. However, a single guy isn't going to be able to stand out on an app with hundreds of options and no in-person experience to base judgments upon.

The ideal means of meeting people is through social circle. However, I have never had a social circle capable of producing dates at any point in my adult life, so in order to achieve my objectives, I need to be invasive towards people's time. I don't care either. I have to show that my invasiveness will add value to their lives.

Cold approaching is often a very tough sales game.
I'd be the last person to recommend a dating app. I'm not even on a dating app. Get lost with those dating apps crap. My issue is bothering someone with headphones or earbuds or when they are trying to get something done. I don't like when someone is trying to get my attention when I am clearly busy with work trying to get something done with my headphones on. My thoughts would be "this better be good".

Bother people with headphones and earbuds all you like, but don't expect a warm reception.

And I have people making it a point to be invasive, it never goes well for them (perverted guys to be specific).

My recommendation, best bet is to find a place that is based on what your interests are (art, sports, music, etc.) you could easily meet people that way. You won't be so invasive that way. No cops will be called and no restraining orders.
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Old 07-16-2019, 02:40 PM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,302,912 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainNJ View Post
its funny to see the high and mighty saying that its wrong for a single guy to approach women in the gym (or anywhere). if you want to meet women, approaching them anywhere is a reasonable thing to do. like you said, its sales and you are selling yourself. not everyone is a buyer and so you move on. but there are a lot of buyers out there if you are selling something that they may be interested in. you fail every time you dont try.

if i was single; i would absolutely be willing to approach any woman i want to spend time with. if you see someone you may be interested in while at the gym; you may never see her again. so your hope for love is going to depend on where you are at the moment? i dont care if you are at a funeral; you can take a shot.
If you're talking about me, I didn't say it was wrong to approach a woman at the gym, if it works for you, then you do you.

In fact my specific words I believe were "I believe you could meet women at a gym, but there are better places to meet women."

A large difference from "It is wrong to meet women in a gym (or anywhere)." If someone is saying that, then to hell with that person.

In fact, I believe someone mentioned Classpass and taking classes in the gym. I think that is a good way to meet people. I agree with that (as far as I understand, that's in a gym).

Running around with my in my hand all desperate for some action never worked for me, though.

Last edited by TJenkins602; 07-16-2019 at 03:56 PM..
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Old 07-16-2019, 03:40 PM
 
Location: NJ
31,771 posts, read 40,472,612 times
Reputation: 24590
Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602 View Post
If you're talking about me, I didn't say it was wrong to approach a woman at the gym, if it works for you, then you do you.

In fact my specific words I believe were "I believe you could meet women at a gym, but there are better places to meet women."

A large difference from "It is wrong to meet women in a gym (or anywhere)." If someone is saying that, then to hell with that person."

In fact, I believe someone mentioned Classpass and taking classes in the gym. I think that is a good way to meet people. I agree with that (as far as I understand, that's in a gym).

Running around with my in my hand all desperate for some action never worked for me, though.
i wasnt directing that post directly to you (or anyone). i dont really remember who posted that but i feel ive seen plenty of people posting that its creepy. granted, it can be creepy depending on how you do it but just approaching someone in the gym to try to get something going isnt automatically creepy.

sure, i know some places may be better than others for meeting someone but ultimately if you want to meet someone then the best place to meet them is wherever you and them are together. like i said before, you may never see that person again.

if you do it with your dick in your hand and seem desperate than your chances of success arent going to be that great. if you do it with your hand off your dick and you seem like an interesting person to them, you may be successful.
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Old 07-16-2019, 06:50 PM
 
5,427 posts, read 4,407,190 times
Reputation: 7252
Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602 View Post
I'd be the last person to recommend a dating app. I'm not even on a dating app. Get lost with those dating apps crap. My issue is bothering someone with headphones or earbuds or when they are trying to get something done. I don't like when someone is trying to get my attention when I am clearly busy with work trying to get something done with my headphones on. My thoughts would be "this better be good".

Bother people with headphones and earbuds all you like, but don't expect a warm reception.

And I have people making it a point to be invasive, it never goes well for them (perverted guys to be specific).

My recommendation, best bet is to find a place that is based on what your interests are (art, sports, music, etc.) you could easily meet people that way. You won't be so invasive that way. No cops will be called and no restraining orders.
There are reasons to do approaches at the gym but it's been a secondary venue. I'm a fit person and I want to meet fit people. It's possible to find people at the gym. I'm there anyway, might as well accomplish something else I need while I'm there.

It is a relief not having to do pickup while at the gym. That's the best thing about relationships in general. The sales component of early stage dating is rather annoying. There's a sales component to retain relationships, but it is less arduous than earlier stage development.

At the gym, I've done more of the fitness class approaching than generic weight room approaching, but I've been open to both and have done both approaches.
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