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Ok I guess I am not making myself clear. My boss told me that his fiance goes to weait watchers and then told me not to tell anybody. I have told nobody nobody on this earth that she goes to weight watchers. It is MY BOSS that told the secret to ME! The secret has STOPPED WITH ME.
Maybe I can shed some light...several years ago, I joined WW. Obviously my husband knew but I asked him not to say anything. He felt it was something he was proud to tell people I was doing. My thoughts were that I didn't need everyone to know and to be watching everything I put in my mouth (or at least me worrying that they were....). If there was any "event" I might have saved up my extra "points" that week so that I could indulge in something. It really wasn't anyone's business to look at me and say "Oh, you can have X in WW now?" Honestly, weight loss is a very personal thing and everyone handles it differently. I personally was much more comfortable, when people asked me AFTER I lost the weight, how I did it or congratulated me. I didn't want the added pressure DURING that time. JMO
UGH....Its not like a secret the person is fat. They are fine with rolling that all around but they won't say they are doing something about it? That is just a little insane.
It's nothing of the sort. As others have pointed out, once you announce you're working to change a behavior -- whether it's quitting smoking, training for a marathon, or losing weight, other people watch you, waiting for you to trip up so they can say "I told you so."
Quote:
think you need to just tell them to grow up.
Little harsh, dontcha think? Everyone has a right to conduct their lives, and lose their weight, as they see fit. Frankly, it's more mature to focus on doing it, versus telling everyone you're doing it.
See...that "i told you so" can be yours if you are not a quitter. Just don't be a quitter. Commit! And I like saying "yeh I can have this" when I am on a diet. I can remember one time in paticular I made a bowl of regular potato chips when I was visiting my parents...
father goes:
"you can't eat that you are on a diet!"
I laughed and said:
" Its only 250 calories worth. I have 1500-2000 to work with for the whole day."
To which he replies:
"But thats not a healthy food! Thats not what people diet with!"
So I said: " Of course its not a healthy food. Its why I am only having about 10% of my entire daily intake be that. It really is that annoying 'burn more than you eat' stuff you always read in articles."
That was 50 lbs ago....
I told him so!
Keeping it secret is just so you can be comfortable with quitting. Its your health. Its nonsense to quit on yourself. Just because you may mess up here and there its no reason at all to stop trying. That "lose everything in 6 months and then perfection" crap that fat people punish themselves with drives me crazy. The "secret dieting" is a sign of an disordered eating tendencies. If you feel you have to hide what you eat you should be talking to a pro. Not going to WW and then over reacting when a friend says you are doing a dietary improvement. You should be proud that you are making an effort. Most people won't even do THAT!
Seeking constant comfort is one of the things that makes you fat in the first place. You have to break those old patterns. Keeping aspects that create the problem for you. Keeping secrets and not dealing with the emotional aspect honestly will keep you falling back into "fat habits".
No. Its not harsh. Adults are comfortable with who they are and don't hide from it. Children do. Lack of proper coping mechanisms for emotions can cause people to comfort eat. The only way to get a thick skin is grow up, toughen up, look at the problem and fix it. Not keep a nice comfortable private back door to just quit on yourself.
Glad that worked for you. But you should be aware that not everyone responds the same way to things. Different things work for different people. Keeping something to yourself does not necessarily indicate "hiding" and "eating disorder". Some people are simply more private in how they handle things....they have that right.
If you have to hide the way you eat. Thats a problem. And its is disordered eating mindset. You can look that one up if you don't believe me. Well everyone I know that dieted in secret failed because they left themselves that option.
How many secret diets are people going to do before they know its opening a door to allowed failure?
If you have to hide the way you eat. Thats a problem. And its is disordered eating mindset. You can look that one up if you don't believe me. Well everyone I know that dieted in secret failed because they left themselves that option.
How many secret diets are people going to do before they know its opening a door to allowed failure?
Come on, Pitt. Observing common rules of privacy or modesty does not make everyone secretive or ashamed of themselves. It's basic manners.
Miss Manners: Dealing With Prying Co-Workers - MSN Relationships - article (http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=8318989 - broken link)
Dear Miss Manners, I have always thought that paying someone a compliment, when genuine, was always appropriate. A friend of mine just got reprimanded by his boss for complimenting a female co-worker on her weight loss. Her reaction was to thank him and she was obviously pleased that someone had noticed. His boss, who overheard the conversation, said it was inappropriate and should not happen again.
Is it no longer appropriate to notice and comment on such things? I have always found people (including myself) to be very happy to be told that their weight loss is noticed. I would appreciate knowing what the acceptable situation for the workplace is. Is it really inappropriate to compliment a co-worker?
Gentle Reader, You are operating on two mistaken premises, Miss Manners regrets to inform you. First, not everyone feels complimented when told about a loss of weight. It could be due to illness, for example. And some people resent being reminded that they had been considered unattractive before the weight loss.
Second, workers are not supposed to be assessing one another's attractiveness. As welcome as compliments might be to some—and even then, from some—they can easily seem offensive. Your friend's boss is quite right to insist that he confine his personal comments to his personal life. But he should also remind himself to stop eavesdropping.
This exchange is not about the OP's exact issue, but it's relevant. Discussing someone else's diet at work falls into two categories: Inappropriate for the Workplace, and None of Your Business. Double trouble.
I think there's a middle ground in this conversation. Having support when trying to make a major change is a good thing. It's why I have a training partner to whom I am accountable. She helps me stay on track! But, broadcasting somebody's weight loss program around a work environment or even social group is out-of bounds. I completely agree with Miss Manners on that one.
Just how is preferring to keep your business your business "hiding"...there are many things in my life I may prefer not to share with a bunch of people. It doesn't mean I'm "hiding" anything, I'm just a more private person. I am the kind of person who is better suited to succeed when I don't feel all eyes are upon me. I would not make a good performer or public speaker (although I can and have I don't particularly enjoy it). I also didn't join the "support" discussions with WW. I just weighed in, got my literature and left. I'm not a "support group" kind of a gal. So what? I still lost the weight. What kept me accountable was knowing I had spent money to join and if I didn't lose the weight, I not only would be failing myself but also wasting money at the same time.
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