Caustic remarks about the beauty of someone SO (guys, tone, attractive)

[Phil P]

Ok, so we've heard that we shouldn't make fun of gay people and their mates, cause that hurts their feelings. I'm sure it does.

But why do people make fun of anybodies choice in a SO. We do not all have the same sense of beauty. Although there is some general things that classify as not pretty, certain things like facial structure, body type, skin type, hair type, freckles... are largely subjective.

We would probably have a lot less people trying to conform to some role model like the super tanned chick if people didn't make fun of guys for liking really nontanned chicks.

[Hedgehog_Mom]

When I meet someone who is much more attractive than their SO, I figure the SO has some quality that's not apparent to the rest of us...maybe he's a great listener, maybe he has a ton of money, maybe he's endowed like a porn star, etc...who knows what makes that person attractive to their mate? It's not my business and I will never ask...if the person is a close friend, I may find out eventually what attracted them to their SO but it's really their choice to share the info or not.

If your friends are making fun of your partner, you may need different friends. Give the current friends a chance to know they crossed the line and to change their behavior, but if they don't change, then gradually distance yourself from them and find some more mature, sensitive friends.

[Phil P]

No, no ones making fun of me, I just see people make remarks about peoples choices all the time. I think that's the reason these people have these trophy wives though, to make everybody else go wow. I do wonder how much it affects people though when someone says their choice in a SO is ugly.

[Tintlelli]

Originally Posted by Phil P

No, no ones making fun of me, I just see people make remarks about peoples choices all the time. I think that's the reason these people have these trophy wives though, to make everybody else go wow. I do wonder how much it affects people though when someone says their choice in a SO is ugly.

That is the point of trophy wives, all part of the image.

The general public can make all the assumptions they want, and they will: super-attractive SO means you're super-confident, have "something going for ya" BUT could also mean you're shallow and vain; ugly SO means you have low self-esteem, have a "past," have to settle, etc.

I would like to pretend that others' opinions on my boyfriend's appearance don't affect me, but they do, consciously or subconsciously. It would bother me most if the critical people were my family members and they were picking on something very specific about the guy, especially something that he is already self-conscious about. This has happened a little bit between my dad and my husband--but I think my dad's comments bothered me more than they bothered my husband. Again, I think. On the other hand my sister had made the comment that she likes the fairer-complected type better than my husband who is dark-haired and cinnamon-complected, and her comment isn't offensive to me at all because it's just referring to a general type not something particular about him. Of course everyone is different--skin tone, weight, height, eye color, etc. can be points of contention for some and unnoticeable by others. So many people are obsessed with skin tone but I couldn't care less.